I thought I would get first licks on the subject so I hope there are no hard feelings from the slowpokes. Mothers day has always been a real bitch for me. My natural mom had to sign away custody of me about 1/3 of the way thru my program and it really messed things up for awhile.
My wicked stepmother is my natural mother on paper only. Over the years I had developed some very special feelings for her. They call them intense Hatred. Since then they have congealed into mere Loathing, Disgust, and Pity.
I read somewhere that Mothers day is the busiest day of the year for the Telephone Companies. It is also the busiest day for ambulance and paramedic crews. By the doctrines of American Society, we as a nation ignore and abuse our mothers throughout the year in pursuit of our own selfish agenda and then try in vain to make up for it by giving her a "Special Day" all her own.
People scrounge and haggle through flower shops and card shops like the last days on Easter Island or some shit. It makes me sick to watch it all. I don't blame my mother for what happened in the program. After everything crashed and burned in the early eighties, she took me in and took care of me and I know that must have been hard for her, because I was full of hate, and half crazy, yet she was there for me.
As for the "straight-years" family that I left behind, there is not much left to care about really. As soon as I lost my job with GTE, and the mental illness that I had been suppressing all those years slowly rose to the surface it was as if I had only been meant to stay the week, and had worn out my welcome. One of the things that keeps the anger and bitterness alive is the fact that neither my father or wicked stepmother has admitted to any wrongdoing of their own. This is why they are not a part of my life anymore. I did however begin to E-mail my father, but he does not keep up with them very well. I still am not going to pick up a telephone. I refuse to make it easy for him. I sent him a .jpg of the bumper sticker I did up, maybe it freaked him out or something. As for the wicked stepmother, I hope her day is as empty and meaningless as our relationship has been over the years. I just hope that when she dies, my doctor will have found something that will keep the smile off my face during the services.
_________________
In the line of fire, you know what to say
They gave us no choices, just one shade of grey
Back at that hellhole, behind Tyrone Mall
We walked in darkness, kept hitting the walls
I took the time to feel for the door
I had been treated, but what the hell for?
[ This Message was edited by: 85 Day Jerk on 2003-05-01 03:29 ]
