So why am I awake at almost 3am, looking at these websites and forums, crying??
That's a good question, and I think if you continue reading through these forums you will see that many program survivors have this same experience of trying to forget their experience, only to be forced to confront it down the line, 5, 10, 25 year later even.
In my opinion, once a person, especially a young teen is taken by force from their]r home and kept in an institutional environment wholly designed to harm them psychologically in a naive attempt to try and change them has long lasting effects, and create a pain that can never quite go away.
Day to day life at TB and other WWASPS facilities is designed to do one thing, and that is foster compliance, fear and loyalty to the program. To be in this type of environment for even a short time, let alone an entire year or two, I think that PTSD is almost guaranteed after being in such a stressful and highly charged situation such as a private gulag like Tranquility Bay.
Have you been able to see the Tranquility Bay documentary? Some French film makers made an excellent documentary about TB and the other WWASPS facilities. unfortunately it's not released yet, but many people were able to download copies and I am sure they would be willing to share it with you.
I think writing helps a lot. At first it can have it's drawbacks because it actually reveals memories and feelings and experiences that might be better left untouched, at least it feels like that at the time. TB is still open today so anything written about the facility is sure to help parents make their decision.
I hope you stick around and let us know how you are doing and maybe write some about your experience|. Either way it's good to hear from you, and you are definitely not alone. There are several of us WWASPS survivors lurking around this forum.
