Author Topic: TB Survivor Forums and Websites  (Read 1182 times)

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Offline Anonymous

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TB Survivor Forums and Websites
« on: April 22, 2007, 02:49:29 AM »
Hi all,

My name is Christina. I was at Tranquility Bay from 3/98 to 2/99 and in the Alive family most of the time.

I went to Tranquility Bay when I was 14 and left when I was 15. I'm not 23 years old.

As you can see, I've been "out" for a long time now. More than seven years, in fact.

In all this time I have tried like hell to repress any memory of TB, to pretend it never happened. The problem is, it's been there in the back of my mind all along.

When I came back to the "real world" (and I use that term loosely- I don't know if anyone else feels the same, but everything has been surreal since jamaica) I could not function. For years I could not sleep and was in a constant state of panic, fearing that at any moment I would be whisked away again to the program.

7 years later... I'm about to graduate college. I start law school in the fall. I am divorced (which is a good thing) and have 2 awesome young children.

So why am I awake at almost 3am, looking at these websites and forums, crying??

If anyone can figure that out, please let me know....

Sincerely,
Christina
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »

Offline Anonymous

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one more thing
« Reply #1 on: April 22, 2007, 02:56:10 AM »
Also, I think it's great that these things exist now.

For so long... I've felt alone in this experience, these feelings, the nightmares and the insomnia.

It's good for people to be able to talk to each other as well as get the info out there for parents who might or have sent their kids there.

For those parents: as horrible as what you read here and other places may be, please keep in mind that there is so, so much more.
Some things are just not possible to put into words.

Christina
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »

Offline Anonymous

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Re: TB Survivor Forums and Websites
« Reply #2 on: April 22, 2007, 09:32:56 AM »
Quote from: ""ChristinaAlive""

So why am I awake at almost 3am, looking at these websites and forums, crying??


That's a good question, and I think if you continue reading through these forums you will see that many program survivors have this same experience of trying to forget their experience, only to be forced to confront it down the line, 5, 10, 25 year later even.

In my opinion, once a person, especially a young teen is taken by force from their]r home and kept in an institutional environment wholly designed to harm them psychologically in a naive attempt to try and change them has long lasting effects, and create a pain that can never quite go away.

Day to day life at TB and other WWASPS facilities is designed to do one thing, and that is foster compliance, fear and loyalty to the program. To be in this type of environment for even a short time, let alone an entire year or two,  I think that PTSD is almost guaranteed after being in such a stressful and highly charged situation such as a private gulag like Tranquility Bay.

Have you been able to see the Tranquility Bay documentary? Some French film makers made an excellent documentary about TB and the other WWASPS facilities. unfortunately it's not released yet, but many people were able to download copies and I am sure they would be willing to share it with you.

I think writing helps a lot. At first it can have it's drawbacks because it actually reveals memories and feelings and experiences that might be better left untouched, at least it feels like that at the time. TB is still open today so anything written about the facility is sure to help parents make their decision.

I hope you stick around and let us know how you are doing and maybe write some about your experience|. Either way it's good to hear from you, and you are definitely not alone. There are several of us WWASPS survivors lurking around this forum.
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »

Offline Anonymous

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TB Survivor Forums and Websites
« Reply #3 on: April 22, 2007, 12:03:21 PM »
can u tell me where to download it..id love to see it
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »

Offline CCM girl 1989

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Re: TB Survivor Forums and Websites
« Reply #4 on: April 23, 2007, 03:37:54 PM »
Quote from: ""ChristinaAlive""
Hi all,

My name is Christina. I was at Tranquility Bay from 3/98 to 2/99 and in the Alive family most of the time.

I went to Tranquility Bay when I was 14 and left when I was 15. I'm not 23 years old.

As you can see, I've been "out" for a long time now. More than seven years, in fact.

In all this time I have tried like hell to repress any memory of TB, to pretend it never happened. The problem is, it's been there in the back of my mind all along.

When I came back to the "real world" (and I use that term loosely- I don't know if anyone else feels the same, but everything has been surreal since jamaica) I could not function. For years I could not sleep and was in a constant state of panic, fearing that at any moment I would be whisked away again to the program.

7 years later... I'm about to graduate college. I start law school in the fall. I am divorced (which is a good thing) and have 2 awesome young children.

So why am I awake at almost 3am, looking at these websites and forums, crying??

If anyone can figure that out, please let me know....

Sincerely,
Christina



Hi Christina,

Well, these memories are painful to recall. I cried too. I went into a mild depression for a couple weeks after finding this site. I stuck around though. I think since you are older now, if you look at what happened you'll be able to make more sense of it. When you're younger it's all very confusing, and I believe when we all first get out we try to forget what happened to us. We pretend it didn't exist.

I hope this site will help you in your healing process. It will help you understand some things, things that you do now, why you do them, etc., etc.

For the record, I was at Cross Creek Manor from 5-89 until 2-90. Tranquility Bay was much harsher then CCM. The movie they talk about was very good. I don't know how to download it or get a copy? There are some groups on myspace, although I think this board is a lot more mature (at times hahahaha), much more edjucated, and can you more.

At the same time it's good because then parents are edjucated at the same time what these places do to children. Do these guys like Lichfield, and Gilcrease know the psychological harm they are doing to all these kids who are becoming adults, and really starting to figure things out? Well, they believe they are saving the world.

Good luck to you!

Miranda
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »
f you were never in a program, or a parent of a child in a program, then you have no business posting here.