Here is the full text, as taken from Hyde's website:
I AM THE DIFFERENCESpeech given by Founder Joe Gauld during Hyde Schools' Fall Family Weekends, 2006I am the difference. It sounds like an arrogant statement.
We live on a planet that is only a speck in infinite space. Our time here is only a brief moment in eternity. In the scheme of things, each human life appears to be incredibly insignificant.
Yet we are unique; there has never been anyone like us before, and never will be again. And something deep inside tells every one of us that our own life is vitally important.
As Goethe observed,
"Life is the childhood of our immortality." In his eyes, our life is clearly meant to determine our place in the larger scheme of things.
This explains Hyde's founding premise:
Every individual is gifted with a unique potential that defines a destiny. Every thing we do at Hyde is built on this founding purpose. Our commitment to your children begins and ends with the development of their unique potential--over their lifetime.
But given the enormity of space and time and the billions of people who have lived here on earth, this inner voice calling us to a larger purpose can easily get drowned out by our lesser self-gratification, self-protection, and self-centered instincts. These instincts seduce us into ignoring our deep inner calling, and instead, lead us to simply seek pleasure and enjoy life.
2300 years ago, Aristotle observed,
"It is the nature of desire not to be satisfied, yet most men live only for the gratification of it." His wisdom is still painfully true today--most of us primarily live to gratify ourselves.
We can understand the pursuit of gratification in those who are fighting just to survive on earth, but not in those living in our land of plenty. Like that insightful verse from the Porgy and Bess song,
I got plenty of nothing:
Folks with plenty of plenty... got a lock on the door.
Afraid somebody's gonna rob 'em... While they're out (a) making more... what for? Today we see a parade of business executives with plenty of plenty going to jail. What for? For trying to get even more of a plenty they cannot possibly use in their lifetimes.
And this preoccupation with self, this spiritual sickness, extends to our entire society. How many Americans continually pursue the dream of winning the lottery, totally ignoring the sad stories of those who did win? In the words of one winner, "I wish it never happened. It was a total nightmare."
This spiritual sickness also invades Hyde. Both boarding campuses have learned that some Hyde graduates last year had broken ethics before they made their speeches.
These are good kids. We saw their deeper potentials. But in spite of all our efforts, we have as yet failed to help them transcend their lesser self-centered and self-indulgent instincts in order to transform into the great individuals and leaders they were meant to be.
A basic truth of life is that we humans flounder in prosperity, but flourish in adversity. Life is meant to be difficult, because we need the challenge of adversity to draw out the deeper creative power of our unique potential.
The caterpillar's mighty struggle to break out of the cocoon develops wings strong enough to fly. Hyde is a human cocoon where our mighty struggles develop our unique potential. So as we view where these Hyde graduates presently are, the lesson is clear:
You as Hyde parents and families, and we as Hyde teachers and classmates, must together work harder and more effectively to help all students, parents, and teachers achieve this very difficult, but life-changing, human transformation.
First, we must dedicate ourselves to helping both our children and ourselves transcend our lesser instincts:
- Self-gratification--how well are we learning to delay gratification--an absolutely essential trait we need in order to prevail in life. Do we put work before play, hard before easy, even vegetables before dessert? Our ability to delay gratification measures our grit as individuals. And we certainly will need grit to realize our unique potential.
- Self-protection--how eagerly are we seeking challenges? How willing are we to take risks? How dedicated are we to facing our fears? As Franklin Roosevelt told us in dark days of the depression: "The only thing we have to fear--is fear itself." Courage is the foundation of our individuality.
- Self-centeredness--how deeply have we developed our empathy and compassion for others? How actively have we expressed our concern for helping others discover their best? Our emotions of compassion and concern empower us to understand and appreciate the deeper spiritual power of Brother's Keeper.
Since Brother's Keeper is the least understood and least respected of all the 10 Hyde Words and Principles, let me add something here.
In the
Book of Genesis, after Cain murdered his brother Abel, God asked him where his brother was. Cain answered, "I know not; am I my brother's keeper?"
Cain's words have come to symbolize people's unwillingness to accept responsibility for the welfare of others--their
brothers in the extended sense of the term.
It is perhaps the uglier side of American individuality how much of our relationships are really self-serving, or at least based on the lesser morality:
I'll scratch your back, and you scratch mine. Ask yourself how much of your relationships are based on gaining approval or acceptance for yourself, or at least seeking to avoid rejection?
Yet at the same time, I think most of us--if not all--would be shocked to realize how much the pure and unselfish brother's keeper efforts of others have contributed to the best in the selves that we are today.
I had such a life-changing Brother's Keeper experience at age 17. While driving home late at night, I saw glass in the road. Imagining some driver getting a flat, I stopped and picked up the glass.
When I returned to the wheel, I just sat there, stunned. Never in my life could I recall expressing an unselfish concern for others, at least when no one was looking. I remember saying to myself,
"Joe, maybe you don't know who you really are." The experience gave me real hope for myself. I certainly didn't change overnight, but today I gain real confidence from knowing I try to make the other's best my first concern in all my relationships. It isn't always appreciated and sometimes even resented, but even then I still get the feeling that some people up there above approve of what I am doing.
I believe until we truly understand and fully appreciate the power of Brother's Keeper, we will never become a leader. We may gain power over others, but we will never truly lead them.
Practicing Brother's Keeper requires real courage, faith, and humility. All of us at Hyde have a golden opportunity to internalize its power, because we are part of a community where all individuals have made a commitment to this principle.
And, we at Hyde need to feel a sense of urgency, because if we are unable to internalize Brother's Keeper under our more ideal conditions, we are unlikely to practice it in life.
Our second concern should be: how well are we helping both students and ourselves transcend the unproductive emotional dispositions that we developed in our childhood and family of origin?
Our work to address dispositions--like anger, resentment, guilt, criticalness, lack of confidence, lack of purpose, pessimism, depression, alcoholism, neuroses, trauma--is the most difficult and painful challenge in the discovery of our deepest selves. But our work frees us to fully realize the even greater power of the
positive emotional dispositions our parents also instilled in us--the true foundation for becoming all we were meant to be in life.
So, as we liberate ourselves from the inner control of both our lesser instincts and our emotional dispositions, we enable ourselves to develop our deepest character and spiritual potentials. This work creates our higher self, and empowers our conscience to lead us on the path of our true destiny.
All of us chosen to be here at Hyde, although some reluctantly so. However, how some of last year's graduates handled their Hyde experience should remind us that each of us still has a crucial choice to make, which I would express like this:
Am I going to continue to follow the conventional path of success in our society, but this time fortified with Hyde values? Or am I going to prepare myself to take the leap of faith needed to trust my unique potential and follow my destiny?
The poet, Robert Frost, expressed this choice in the following way:
"Two roads diverged in a wood, and I--
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference." I am the difference. This is not arrogance. It expresses a deep belief in life, profound humility, a strong spirit, real courage, and a commitment to be the best I can be, to help others, and to leave the world a better place.
I earnestly hope you will share this spirit with family throughout the new year, because family is where the journey of our unique potential begins. Good Luck.
