Wa wa wa. I had this biological need to "be" a mother. I had this uncontrolable urge to have a cute little baby who actually never asked to be born. Then wa wa wa it grew up, into a person ! Oh my god instead of getting stroked by society, instead of all the admiration and envious little old ladies, suddenly people in Wal-mart are giving me dirty looks cuz the little shit is acting up. Well I let it go on as I can then smack the little bastard who cries harder, at least until I can get the little shit home and really give him something to cry about.
Then after I calm down I'll just stuff him full of fast food and video games so I can get on the phone and gossip with Marge about what a rotten day it was (that same good friend who later gave me such good counsel about "placements"). But, hell, what's this? He's a teenager you say. ALL OF A SUDDEN he is "acting out". Damn. How did he get from being a perfect angel to being a real person, OVERNIGHT? Wa wa wa, I must have been in a coma, didn't see it coming. Its only been, what 14, 15, 16 years? Better hide him fast. I'll just tell the neighbors that he is at "boarding school:". Then, thank goodness I can have a little fun and let someone else deal with that not-so-little-anymore raging bag of hormones. After all, I know those professionals aren't going to believe anything he tells them and as long as the money keeps flowing their way I'm a good parent, in their books. And the neighbors are smiling at me again. Ah yes, problem solved.
No more wa wa wa for me; that's his problem now.
