You don't steal from people you respect. Clue?
Oh, Oh, Mr. Carter, yes , I get it now, its the parents fault. It took me a minute to figure it out.
When I was a boy, I did not receive an allowance. My Dad said that if I needed money, he would give it to me. Whenever I asked for some money (to see a movie, or buy a toy), the answer was no. My friends would then go on without me to the movie or whatever.
My Mom did not like my Dad's frugality. She felt it was not fair that I be excluded from my friends' activities. She would whisper to me, "Take some money from my purse. Don't tell your Father." So I did.
It did not take long before I took the money without asking. I became a thief.
When my Mom would buy me something, my Dad would yell at her for wasting money on toys. He would threaten to take these back to the store. My Mom stood up to him and refused.
It was instilled into my young mind that I was a burden, not a blessing to my family. I did not deserve anything. I felt guilty for what I did get.
I had chores to do as well. The context was not about what's fair, but about who was in charge, and how grateful we little ingrates should be that we had the things our parents doled out to us.
The result of this childhood treatment was very much like the teen described. Was that my parents' fault? I'd say yes.
Now don't get me wrong. My son has chores. But the context is much different. My son is eager to help and wants to be involved. He understands that everyone in the family has to help. He also understands this is a two way street and he is entitled (yes, ENTITLED) to his fair share of the family's resources. Part of which is an allowance that is never revoked as punishment. In our family it is not about who the boss is or who owes who. It is about working as a team for a common goal. I like to think my son knows he is our greatest treasure and not at all a burden.
