Author Topic: 29 Years Ago This Date; 01/21/78  (Read 2980 times)

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Offline Woof-a-Doof

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29 Years Ago This Date; 01/21/78
« on: January 21, 2007, 07:31:22 PM »
I was admitted/detained/incarcerated into the clutches of Straight Inc. I was 14 years old. I had smoked pot, I had drank alcohol and I had skipped school. I had known about Straight thru the rumor mill and from the ?Straightlings? attending my school. I hadn?t known these individuals prior to their lock up in Straight?but I saw their robotic mannerisms, their vacant stares and had been on the receiving end of their condescension.

I wanted no part of Straight. I was scared of Straight. Aside from the strange results that I had seen in people whom had been so unfortunate to be placed in Straight, I had heard the rumors of people being beaten.

My father had also heard of Straight Inc via the St. Petersburg Times, who at the time ran many articles regarding Straight. He also had known that Straight Inc had a reputation for physical violence. Knowing this, he decided that Straight Inc. was the place for me.

Rather than be dishonest, he was very straight forward in informing me that on that morning he and my mother were taking me to Straight. I remained in Straight Inc for a long time; until such time that I graduated. Those who know, know, this was not the end of the ordeal.

29 years later, and the ordeal is not over. I no longer delude myself thinking that the ?ordeal? will ever be over. There is a common notion that one must just simply ?get over it? and move on. The absurdity of this notion infuriates me on some level?somehow discounting my experience?trivializing the essence of my rage?marginalizing the fact I was held against my will and subjected to starvation, sleep deprivation, fear of physical attack, lack of medical attention, verbal abuse, ridicule, humiliation?all in the name of ?therapy?

I was deluded into some idea that there is/was a Hippocratic Oath?yet at the time of my incarceration there were no licensed professionals of any kind. Seems the first promises of that oath, ? I will prescribe regimens for the good of my patients according to my ability and my judgment and never do harm to anyone.? Would have been the first to have been violated. There is no doubt in my mind?harm was done. I saw harm inflicted on others and also, harm was inflicted on me?some 29 years ago.

I seek no retribution, I wish no harm, I don?t even seek an apology?Just understood?of course that would require a listener or reader. Perhaps?.maybe?if 29 years ago I could have been understood?.actually had a listener or a reader?I wonder what the results might have been?29 years latter.

The thought of warehousing a child for ANY period of time should be deeply examined. If my experience has any benefit?I would hope a parent or whatever would, examine the ?hoped for results? as well as examine the ?most probable results??some 29 years later.

In recent news?2 boys were found in a mans apartment. One victim had been there 4 years. Many questioned why that when the boy had amble opportunity to flee or to otherwise make a plea for help?he made no real significant effort to do so?I understand?I think I understand perfectly why he made no effort. I am not sure I can articulate my understanding into words, sadly?but I do think I can understand.

I also saw a documentary on the history channel on the Jonestown Suicides, in the year of my incarceration at Straight Inc. when approximately 913 people died. I did not know that Jim Jones son was a survivor of that incident. It was uncanny to me to listen to his account of the situation and the happenings of his father, the camp and it?s people. I found myself also almost in 100% agreement and perfect understanding with him also.

In that story there was another man who had wanted to leave ?paradise?. He had to sign his son over to the ?people? in order for him to leave. It was easy to see that this man was way tore up?Truly a heart breaking story?.but when it came down to the bottom line?he wanted out?I understood him?

I had different thoughts 29 years ago?I had different reasons for thinking the way I did?indoctrination will do that for ya. Problem is?indoctrination is long lasting?extended release as well as time released. I am, for better or worse?factoring in the perception and the relativity of it all?I am who/what I am, because of what happened 29 years ago.  

Well ok?I am who/what I am, just cause I am that which I am ( I also have periods of time when I don?t think much, so it hits me that I might not be)?..oy?.point is I am ok with who/what I am?.

However, 29 years ago sucked!

Mom, now in her late 80?s is beyond convinced that my teens should have been the happiest days in my life and is truly befuddled that was not my experience. ?Are you?, she asks ?still angry because we put you in Straight?? There was a long silence before I effectively changed the subject?At her age (and mine) it isn?t worth it. Honesty isn?t always the best policy.

It?s odd to me. Straight had me convinced I would be dead by 24-30. I am 44?.Now What?
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »
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Offline Anonymous

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Re: 29 Years Ago This Date; 01/21/78
« Reply #1 on: January 22, 2007, 02:25:40 AM »
Quote from: ""Woof-a-Doof""


It?s odd to me. Straight had me convinced I would be dead by 24-30. I am 44?.Now What?



Those are the words on everyone's lips.  I had a suicide planned a couple of years ago,  but a change in brain chemistry altered that.  It was weird, I was sitting on a junked couch in the woods behind a Wal Mart, hanging out, waiting for my buddy to get done fucking some chick he picked up at a bar.  It was a small apt and I was crashing on his couch so I went to the woods to kill time and give them privacy.  Anyway, I had enough pills in my pocket to kill me ( a powerful barbiturate that I will not give the name of here) and was just waiting to tie up some loose ends before I did it.  Then my brain chemistry changed.  It was likie a fog had lifted.  I no longer felt the depression and hopelessness that made  me decide that suicide was a reasonable alternantive.  Nothing had changed in my life or my thinkiing, my situation still sucked,  but for some reason I no longer was depressed.  My theory is that my brain was being drowned in "bad chemicals" and , when a critical level was reached, it kicked in "good chemicals" as a survival function.  No mystical explanantion required.  FOr a long time, I believed I would be dead by thirty.  I'm almost 41 now, and I know the feeliing, the
"Now What?".  I don't have any family or dependents in my life, it's just me, and I think I am lucky that way.    I don't really have any goals or ambitions but to stay out of jail and be left alone.  Sometimes I like to write shit on websites like these but I don't consider myself an artist or a writer.  At one time I did, and spent hours rewriting and editing manuscripts, even got drunk and read a short story at an open mic night at the local pinko alternative media center, and got a good response. but wnen I reread it a month or so ago, showing it to a girl I knew (it had gotten me laid a couple of times before, mainly artsy types) , it struck me as bullshit, self-centered, and trite.  I don't think I have a hell of a lot to say, so I don't consider myself a writer.  I'd kinda like to be a beach bum.  I'm getting bored with doing nothing here where I am, I'd like to do nothing elsewhere.  I've heard you can get paid to grow pot in California, that people put up ads on craig's with houses already set up.  I like to garden, so maybe that would be cool.   Like I said, I'm not very ambitious anymore.  I was at one time, but I am not now.  "I just" want a few bowls of weed, maybe a beer or two, some pills now and then are OK, too.  I really don't give a damn any more about much, but I like to smoke some weed and ignore everything else.  Some tunes are nice, too.  I used to sing for a band but that is over nowadays.  It was fun and I am glad I did it, but it was a real pain in the ass and stopped being fun.  I don't really play an instrument, I know a few guitar chords, but I'm really lazy and don't give that much of a damn.  Particularly when there are so many other more talented people I could listen to.

I never could talk to my parents about Straight, either.  They are dead now, so I can't talk about anything with them now, but that's not too different from when they were alive.  After Straight, we mainly talked about the weather, or the local sports teams, or how my car was running.  Occasionally Straight would come up in conversation, invariably leading to yelling and accusations and other unpleasantness that I guess we just decided to avoid.  Since that was never resolved, I never got an apology more than "I'm sorry I put you in there because you won't let it go now" so we were never able to communicatre in other than shallow surface conversations.  When I was at the point in my life when I needed somone older's experience and knowledge, ten years later than most of my pre-Straight peers, they died, and I did a lot of shit that has in many ways, sealed my fate on certain levels.  I'm pretty far removed from the mainstream, and I am OK with that.  I like how you put that, being OK with who you are.  I think I am pretty damaged, from self-and Straight-inflicted wounds, but I am finally OK with who I am.  Maybe the wounds will heal with time, I don't know.  I do know that I fucked myself up after Straight, maybe because of what happened to me in Straight.   WHo the fuck knows, or cares.  It's my life now, and I'm OK with it.  I don't really give a good goddamn one way or the other.  Life ain't pretty and it ain't that sweet.  It just is.  Enjoy it while it lasts.  Wow, I think I may have found my new ambition---to be a beach bum  Maybe I can find a grow house in San Diego and move there.  I like Ocean BEach when I was there in the 90s,  in between selling acid to the Dead Head kids (someone once called me an "enemy Captain in the War On Drugs", well, I guess Straight picked my side for me.)  The beach was nice there, I liked it OK.

Anyway, W-a-D,  "I just" wanted to let ya know that I like d your post, and I'd even tell yopu "I can relate" but that would sound too much like that Straightling bullshit that I try to avoid.

Take care, dude.  I'll drop you a PM if I'm ever in St. Pete, we can burn some herb and think about the good things, like being free from Straight.

RTP2k3
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »

Offline 85 Day Jerk

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29 Years Ago This Date; 01/21/78
« Reply #2 on: January 22, 2007, 03:40:53 AM »
Hey Mr. D,
I was scared we lost you there for awhile.  I've moved to East Tennessee since last Halloween.  I really like it here, but still have not planted roots as fast and as deep as I had hoped yet, but the economy is reeeeaaalllll  slow here.

Way back in 2002 when I first joined the forum I had made a post about all the kids in the program who's parents worked for the defense industry in the Tampa Bay Area and how I would like to get my hands on the parent/parents who were behind the huge seminars held at various defense plants showing movies that scared the hell out of new recruit parents with anti-drug propaganda.  Well I finally got my hands on one of them around Christmas.  It was really awkward, because I look a whole lot like the guy.  The reason for that is because the man is my dad.  It took a lot of courage on his part to tell me that he took a large part in the Parent Seminars way back then.  All this time I thought it was some blown out covert operation taken on by a whole bunch of people.  It was alot to take in at the time.  My dad is still proud of what he did and has absolutely no idea the horrible damage that was inflicted on our minds back then at the hands of straight.

In a way, I can understand all that because my fathers own mind has been viciously warped by the american goverrnment.  He was one of the first and last to work inside of the General Electric Nuetron Devices Assembly Plant on Bryan Dairy Road in Sparkling Largo Florida.  From 1958 until the early 90's, his job was to secure a defense plant that made the warheads for nuclear missles.  The best way to tell if my dad was having a bad day at work would be to suddenly join the molecular structure of everything around me as the air is superheated to over 4 thousand degrees followed by about 300 mile per hour winds and instant vaporization.  To work for something that could end all life as we know it and still be able to drive to work whistling Dixie takes a certain amount of attitude adjustment if you ask me.  Maybe the insanity of the Cold War made the insanity of the Drug War that much more believable and able to accept for our parents' generation.  It was something they could actually control the outcome of and gave them an enormous feeling of satisfaction.  It is that smug satisfaction that I am trying to break through in my Dad.  I'm just not too sure I am gonna like what I find lying underneath it all.

I am glad you are doing fine and feel free to PM me.  Take Care
« Last Edit: April 28, 2009, 01:32:18 PM by 85 Day Jerk »
Inside a warehouse behind Tyrone Mall
we walked in darkness, kept hitting the wall.
I took the time to feel for the door,
I had been \"treated\" but what the hell for?

Offline starry-eyed pirate

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29 Years Ago This Date; 01/21/78
« Reply #3 on: January 24, 2007, 02:33:21 PM »
'S'up Woof ?!  Always good to read your words.  I like knowin' you're out there in the world somewhere.

Red Temple, lets get a place in OB, I just have to wait for my daughter to graduate from high school in about 7 more years!!!!!  Then I'm headin to OB to surf my life away!!!!!

85 Day Jerk.  I think your a little harsh on Beth and her dogs.  I mean I know what your sayin an' all, but you're a little harsh.

-pirate
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »
If you would have justice in this world, then begin to see that a human being is not a means to some end.  People are not commodities.  When human beings are just to one another government becomes obsolete and real freedom is born; SPIRITUAL ANARCHY.

Offline Anonymous

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29 Years Ago This Date; 01/21/78
« Reply #4 on: January 24, 2007, 03:08:31 PM »
Quote from: ""starry-eyed pirate""
'S'up Woof ?!  Always good to read your words.  I like knowin' you're out there in the world somewhere.

Red Temple, lets get a place in OB, I just have to wait for my daughter to graduate from high school in about 7 more years!!!!!  Then I'm headin to OB to surf my life away!!!!!

85 Day Jerk.  I think your a little harsh on Beth and her dogs.  I mean I know what your sayin an' all, but you're a little harsh.

-pirate


I am perfectly capable of ignoring his mean comments on the internet. He actually was very polite to me, it was just his string of lies which I started realizing that made my skin crawl. At least he let me go to sleep, and he didn't get drunk and physically rage on me like you did.
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »

Offline FishBone

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Re: 29 Years Ago This Date; 01/21/78
« Reply #5 on: January 26, 2007, 11:53:10 PM »
Quote from: ""Woof-a-Doof""
In recent news?2 boys were found in a mans apartment. One victim had been there 4 years. Many questioned why that when the boy had amble opportunity to flee or to otherwise make a plea for help?he made no real significant effort to do so?I understand?I think I understand perfectly why he made no effort. I am not sure I can articulate my understanding into words, sadly?but I do think I can understand.

I also saw a documentary on the history channel on the Jonestown Suicides, in the year of my incarceration at Straight Inc. when approximately 913 people died. I did not know that Jim Jones son was a survivor of that incident. It was uncanny to me to listen to his account of the situation and the happenings of his father, the camp and it?s people. I found myself also almost in 100% agreement and perfect understanding with him also.

In that story there was another man who had wanted to leave ?paradise?. He had to sign his son over to the ?people? in order for him to leave. It was easy to see that this man was way tore up?Truly a heart breaking story?.but when it came down to the bottom line?he wanted out?I understood him?



Whats up Woof...  I just wanted to say that i also think the same when seeing many odd stories in the news, miles away from anything that has actually happened to me, but on a more emotional nad personal level, you understand completely

Anyways, I wnted to let you know I appreciate your words, and it was great meeting you at the "reunion" in St Pete since i never post here much...  Even though there were only 3 of us.  Twas nice getting to talk face to face with with someone who understands...
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »

Offline Withdraw

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29 Years Ago This Date; 01/21/78
« Reply #6 on: January 27, 2007, 02:03:49 PM »
I never thought about it that way Woof... It is odd about the being grown up and not expecting it. I have been convinced since Straight, I would not live long enough to bother making any really long term plans. Interesting, I always think.. WoW, I wasn't spose to live this long, of course I don't have long term plans... But I hadn't connected that thought to Straight until you posted that statement. WoW.. I understand it now. I better start thinking of my old age, cause apparently staright was wrong and I am going to live awhile :o  What a reality check. Thanks.
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »

Offline Woof-a-Doof

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29 Years Ago This Date; 01/21/78
« Reply #7 on: January 27, 2007, 10:32:52 PM »
RTP2k3--Kinda funny we had similar ambitions. I remember at my intake they asked me what I wanted to be and what I saw when I looked into the future. I responded with, "I want to be a Beach Bum"...Prior to that I had spoken those same words to a high school councelor (sp). She was at a loss for words as ya can imagine.

Yet I was serious. I lived on the beach...well directly across the street from the beach. I liked the whole lifestyle of it. It seemed to have worked out well for Jimmy Buffet...who was legendry on the beaches at the time.

A question often asked during interviews...one tht pisses me right hell off, is...What or where do you see your self 5 years from now?....It seems to me to be a question  that is more like a koan than a measurable/demonstrable....(errr hate when I can find the word)... Why not just ask what our dreams and aspirations are? Rather than the song and dance about "you have such potential"...In my mind the word "potential" implies that a gift is in the future, but it is improbable and so there for will always remain..."potential"

Tending to get caught up in the whole semantic nature of things...ahem...I like to think the words "potential" would best be replaced with "CAPASITY". Seems to me"CAPASITY" is something which I already possess. It isn't something I aquired, earned, learned or stole. And if I can go out on a limb here, if indeeed this is true for me...it is true for you...each and all. Simply being myself is enuff.

The question to me is...Why wasn't I exposed to this information at a young age? If not from my parents, then why not from Straight? Oh thats right...never mind....faux pas...mea culpa. Thats about the time when I get caught up in circular thinking tangents about Straight...like I am blaming theraphy or lack thereof on Straight....Yet see there was nothing therapeutic about Straight Inc. And what I experienced, as you and and those of us that endured Straight was abusiveand fundementally cruel.

There was a staff member who blew thru fornits some time back. In a few exchanges on his thread, he admitted having no idea what he wanted from us (back then), he had no clue really what he was try to convey. Only that he internally floundered about, whilst carrrying on as if he knew what was going on. This eptomizes what I have thought for decades. I/we were lead by the unkowning, to a place that we can never achieve. Expectations were so high...yet in reality...there was no clear objective. How fucked up is that shit!

RTP2k3--sorry for the the babble...you understand...puff puff type type...puff puff type type

85DJ--Rumors of my death have been greatly exagerated. I went to the Memorial thing...but probably before that even I had already begun to shy away from here...in terms of writting anyway...I still read, but I am not dead.

I am glad that you and your Dad can come to a lil more understanding. I think like all of us, our parents and other loved ones were dragged into the whole mind-fuck...some more than others but still, ensnaring the parents was extremely important...perhaps much of the reluctance I run into with my folks is that they dont want to admit they were mind-fucked. If they should take responcibility for that...they may also suffer...Knowing them, they are not likely to do that.

Starry-P... Ya make me smile!

Mmmmm I seemed to have missed something in relatation to "Beth and her dogs"

Fishbone--- :) yezzz was nice meeting with you as well...I am looking forward to next year!

WithDraw---Yeah, the whole life planing thing never occured to me until 40yo or so. After 9/11  I was laid off from my job. I went back to school.I had gone to college and all that earlier but it didnt really register. I found myself in love with school, I wanted to take every course i could possibly take. I loved the learning, I loved being tested on that which I had ben taught...all in all it was exhilerating. Now why couldnt that have happened at a more age appropriate time...oh yeah....I had suffered the trauma of Straight Inc.....Not an excuse ya know, but an explaination no doubt!
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »
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Offline Anonymous

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29 Years Ago This Date; 01/21/78
« Reply #8 on: January 27, 2007, 11:25:42 PM »
Education's all fukt up for some kids. The bells and the time slots didn't leave room for anything as simple as getting to sit at the genius' math table in the fifth grade so they could bring me up to speed, or staying in the art room for months on end, when faith would have shown a later-blooming interest in history and all the rest. I would have gotten a lot more learning done with a little guidance and long hours in a sunny barn reading books. People learn best and work best doing what they are truly inspired to do. A time slot culture takes up a lot of space. We simply needed space to be as young people, and that desire was met with Das Boot.

I am curious about what you have been doing in school, Woof.
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »

Offline 85 Day Jerk

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......quite on the contrary, good man!
« Reply #9 on: January 28, 2007, 12:55:56 AM »
Hmmmmm let me clear something up firsthand.  When it comes to reefer/pot/the weed/Mary Jane/ Cannibis, my views have actually changed *gasp* from 2002/2003 when I had first joined the forum and actually met some of it's members face to face.

Back then, I had just finished training to drive schoolbuses in Pinellas County.  To drive and smoke at the same time was simply out of the question.  Not only could I not smoke, but I was not even to be in the company of those who do.  A job was at stake, a job that I had trained hard to attain that paid a higher salary than most management jobs in the private sector, so I had to make a choice back then.    Long story short, I no longer drive a schoolbus, but the training and habits still took awhile to shake off.  Getting popped with reefer will still cost you your class "B" license in quite a few states, but I surrendered mine here in Tennessee when I had to renew my drivers license.  Since I was not employed to drive trucks at the time, I did not have a valid DOT health card, and without one, no license.  Therefore reefer don't matter no more, GET IT?  GOT IT? ................GOOD!!!!

Now that that's out of the way, have you heard from the 'Bell Man?'
Last I heard from him, he was working for Amtrack or some such railroad and actually passes through where I live right now.  Hell, he may have been on one of the trains that I had to wait for to pass at a crossing I live near.  It would be more than cool to hear from him.

Down in beautiful St. Pete, this is the time of year when what I call Electric Ladyland Jellyfish choose to spawn.  If you go out at night near the seawalls, you can see them mating, and they give off this luminecent glow that is really trippy and pretty.  Do you hear much from our bud that used to have the old blue Vee Wee?  That fishing trip on the skyway really spelled out the kind of men we would become in more ways than one.  I would like to write about it, but some of the stuff that happened was just too.........hard and difficult to describe without sufficient imput.  Let me know what you think.
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »
Inside a warehouse behind Tyrone Mall
we walked in darkness, kept hitting the wall.
I took the time to feel for the door,
I had been \"treated\" but what the hell for?

Offline Anonymous

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29 Years Ago This Date; 01/21/78
« Reply #10 on: January 28, 2007, 09:29:56 AM »
It's no measure of health to be well adjusted to a profoundly sick society. ::stab::
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »

Offline kpickle39

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29 Years Ago This Date; 01/21/78
« Reply #11 on: January 28, 2007, 10:21:26 AM »
Hey WOOFADOOF.  Good to see your posts on the fornits again.  I rarely come here, but I have time today to cruise the internet and figgered, I see what was up with the fornits crowd.  I wasn't suprised to see that nothing much has changed.    I remember days in group with you.  Seems so long ago, but also like yesterday.  Also remember haning out with you after we graduated at the beach or marcie's house.   It has been good to see you a few times over the past couple of years.  

Oh yeah, thanks for never and I mean never chewing me a new asshole when I was on my phases.   Plenty of people did, but not you.   Thanks
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »

Offline Anonymous

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29 Years Ago This Date; 01/21/78
« Reply #12 on: January 28, 2007, 10:25:38 AM »
Are you one of those stalkers??????   :rofl: :silly:  :lol:
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »

Offline Anonymous

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29 Years Ago This Date; 01/21/78
« Reply #13 on: January 28, 2007, 02:14:30 PM »
Quote from: ""Guest""
It's no measure of health to be well adjusted to a profoundly sick society.


This is Quote worthy!
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »

Offline Woof-a-Doof

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29 Years Ago This Date; 01/21/78
« Reply #14 on: January 28, 2007, 02:16:59 PM »
Post Preface: This is yet another long post. If ya have had no interest in this thread....this post certainly won't help matters, nothing to see here folks. Guests, 85DJ, K-Pickle read on...

Guest-- Thanks for the responce! Ya  sound like good people! I am not currently enrolled in school. When I was in school I went for puter classes and website stuff, I was certified by Microsoft and earned  few accredidations in the IT field. All that was self interest studies...to promote my art etc.

Now my interests are in the finacial arena.  The big joke in my home life was to loose woof in conversation...start talking numbers and $$$. I kinda got sick of the joke. Actually when my siginifiant other begn getting her brokers lic. I kind jumped in to help her prepair for her exams. As far as work (that which I do for cash) is concerned I am indirectly working for a non-profit. However, I am geting tired of the environment. For sometime now i have been negotiating a spot in another non-profit here in my own neighborhood.  Eventually I hope to have my own non-profit...The Digital Art Initiative...Taking a classrom on wheels filled with computers and computer art applications, digital cameras to the streets. My hope is to reach folks that otherwise have no other forms of expression...much like myself. Always having an urge to create but not having a medium to delve into...can't draw, paint, sing, dance and I found that I could spend many many hours creating on the computer. It's not something that would generate mounds of cash, but i think it could enrich the lives of many.

85DJ--I am glad ya have come to some understanding in regard to the cannibis question/issue! I am not suggesting or implying that you should now indulge. I am of the opinion some are best when not smoking as some are at their best not drinking.  However, to indulge or not isn't really at issue. Tolerance, I think is important in this regard . For obvious reasons (at least to me) I am ultra sensitive to intolerance, both from others and when I am intolerant of others...for whatever reason.

That intollerance seperates me. Once again, I began to have the sensation of "Apart from"rather than "A part of". I struggle with my own sense of intolerance and I pay the price. I am glad however for you, that you have set those particular issues aside...perhaps this is a turning of the page.

In regards to "Bell Man", yeah, he is a rail road guy, but I am not sure it is with Amtrak. For some reason I thought it was C*S*X. I agree, it would be good to sit with Mark. Back then Mark wasn't one to readily accept a buncha bullshit, certainly not to conform  to it. I suspect that he hasnt changed much in that regard...probably saw the chaos around here and dipped...as so many of us do. And I wonder about that...Do folks dipp out of these boards because of difficulty facing memories or perhaps current behaviors directly associated to Straight Inc. or would the climate as it is here sometimes run them off?

I am having trouble remembering the blue "Vee Wee". I do, however recall fishing off the skyway bridge several times.I recall two incidents. I recall sitting on the very edge of the bridge, at the very spot which it snapped and plunged to the surface of Tampa Bay, and the Ship below. I remember I was sitting on the ledge with my legs dangling over the side. I was with someone, but I am not sure who...Chuck Canon's name comes to mind, but I can't be sure, maybe Scott Travis. The other thing I recall was hauling ass on my motorcycle thru the tall grass along side of the road at about 40-45mph and I drove cross a  drainage culvert catapulting my passanger who I think might have been Chuck or  Scott.

RIP Chuck, you were a good guy...we did alot of shit together...some of it was against 85DJ...that wasn't called for, it was wrong. Somethings can't be blammed on Straight, my own immature character at the time was at fault. I can only hope that my character has improved some 25 years after the fact. I apologize Bob and I am sure Chuck would have also apoloized.

K-Pick---good to see you as well!!  I gotcha on the whole "nothing has changed" thing. As we discussed before, this is the nature of the beast. This is the result, the sum tottal of the long lasting effects of Straight Inc. What more can we expect. The whole of us are enraged against the attrocity (sp)we endured. I think we do as a whole, what we were trained to do. We tend to implode on ourselves. The nit-picking, the back bitting, the articulated skills of condemnation and ridicule. Yet, I also think as individuals, we think and act differently from the mayhem exhibited on these boards. I can imagine how this might be misintrepreted. I do not wish imply that there is a "two-face" negative quality that is premeditated with any evil intent. But there is a "duality" about our nature. Yes, we are angry and will lash out...sometimes in an unprovoked maner...

Beyond our defensive posturing, aside from our rage and all that...My assumption is that we are all similar in many ways, yet unable to articulate those qualities. It is way too easy to mis-interpret a message in a two dimensional means of communication. That is compounded when some posts are litle more than inflamatory remarks made by anonymious authors...Now add the factor of our own rage and a full scale battle erupts. It is a sad fact of life here on the boards...it is a predictable result when children are treated in a hiedious manner, under this perverse quise of "love' and "treatment"that we would treat each other the same way decades later.

In the begining of this post I mentioned Jamestown and the two boys found (the one that wouldnt run away)...None of it makes rational sense on the surface to many...but I understood. Maybe to say it was "predictable" is not the appropriate word, I mean really, who knew? I simply understood those peoples experience, not 100%, obviously...but enuff to be on the same page. So, when I say I understand what happens here on the boards I mean it in that sense.

I wonder also about Stockholm  Syndrom, identifying with captors as a means of survival, physically and psychologically. Anyone have any thoughts regarding Straight and the possible/probable presence of Stockholm Syndrom.
Life was good for me after Straight, not immediately after ya know...shell shock and fear of being "Brought Back" and all. I had good surroundings, it's just a damn shame I was too fucked up in the head from Straight Inc. to appreciate the whole situation (which I can see in almost 20/20 hindsight vision). I was, like all here, robbed of something as a child. Now, we all bear those scars.

Guest---"Stalker"...moi? I can only assure you I havent the inclination, desire, ambition nor the time required to think outside of myself and those I hold near and dear. I am just a garden variety victim of Straight Inc and it's methodology

Thanks for reading this far...I apreciate your patience!
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »
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