Treatment Abuse, Behavior Modification, Thought Reform > The Seed Discussion Forum

seed loosing it's power over me!

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NOT12NOW:
For most of my adult life I have had nightmares in which my parents were putting me back in the seed.  In these dreams, I have always been  desperate and helpless and despite the fact that as soon as I woke I knew what I dreamt was no real danger the nightmares left me shaken and often unable to get back to sleep but I've noticed a change in my seed dreams of late.  A few month ago I mentioned to my partner that I'd like to get to the point where I could remember during my dream that I was an adult now and that my parents did not have the power to commit me anymore.  Soon after my dreams started changing in subtle ways.   In a dream I had last week I had been re-admitted to the program. I was on my three nights and was still a teenager but I had an ally.  A man who knew I wanted to spend as little time there as was possible until I graduated.  He called and talked to the staff saying, I would be checking in with him instead of going to the seed sometimes then told me I had the day off.   I wasn't in any way suspicious of him. I had confidence that he was honestly covering for me.

Since then I have had several other seed dreams.  Dreams in which I try to help old friends who get sent into the program by warning them to keep a low profile.  Dreams in which I am in the program, going through the motions but with full knowledge that it's all bullshit, full knowledge that I am fooling them and feeling no fear.

I haven't had a dream yet were I realized I was an adult and could just walk out of the place but in my dream last night I chose clothing to wear to the seed in  my adult size not my twelve-year-old size.

I am getting there.  The seed is loosing its power over my psyche.  javascript:emoticon('8-)')
javascript:emoticon('8-)')

Antigen:
Cool!

Anonymous:
about five years ago I had a similar dream where I was tricked into going into some adult self improvement camp that ended up being a seed meeting for adults.  In my dream I laughed at the people and walked out.

Good going not12now.  The present is always a good time to kill your childhood demons.

NOT12NOW:
Thanks guys.  It's so nice to have people who understand how that place gets into one and tries to hold on.  People who understand what a triumph it is to shrink the seed's power.

And guest, I day I dream I am in the seed and just walk out laughing, I am gonna do a friggin victory dance!!

Anonymous:
jesus christ, it's about fucking time.

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