Talk with Mom about Straight

[Anonymous]

People should really start suing their parents, just to fucking give them hell. I haven't made good on my threats to publicize my parents' child abuse in their hometown yet, but I think I should. It might give other abusive fuckhead parents something to think about. The WHOLE TOWN is going to know, and their jobs are going to know, the people they see in the grocery store are going to know, and they will pay, as they should, with PUBLIC SHAME.

[001010]

I think in the end it's painful enough that they simply have no real relationship with us now.

[Anonymous]

People should really start suing their parents, just to fucking give them hell. I haven't made good on my threats to publicize my parents' child abuse in their hometown yet, but I think I should. It might give other abusive fuckhead parents something to think about. The WHOLE TOWN is going to know, and their jobs are going to know, the people they see in the grocery store are going to know, and they will pay, as they should, with PUBLIC SHAME.

I agree, program parents, particularly ones that actively participated in abuse by being foster parents (such as your Mommy and Daddy did at Straight) should be sued.  Maybe that will make some would-be program parents think twice about participating.


Publicly calling out abusers is OK, too, just be careful that you do it correctly and don't come across as a nutcase with an axe to grind.  Be as calm and matter-of-fact as you can be, and stick to allegations that are easily provable.  Straight parents, mine included, didn't think anything of telling anyone who would listen about their kid's "drug problem" and the "wonderful place called Straight that made everrything better".  THis hass caused many problems for survivors, and we certainly don't need stigmatization as a "druggie" or "addict" or even the term "in recovery" added to the list of problems caused or aggravated by Straight that we have had to overcome.  They didn't see anything wrong about trumpeting news of our fictitous "drug problem" once Straight 'diagnosed" us, so they shouldn't have a problem with us disseminating the truth, that they were or are child abusers.

[PerfectStraightling]

Last night I went to dinner with my mom here in Austin.  Nice place, good food.  About the middle of our meal the manager came up to us and asked if everything was to our liking and so forth.  I kept looking at him, as he looked SO familiar.  I sort of forgot what he was saying and just blurted out "Whats your name?"....My sense of decorum had blown out the window and it was a very interrogatory tone I took with him, it was almost instinctual.

Turns out he was exactly who I thought he was, a guy who was on fifth when I went into the program.  He told me his first name, and
I tagged his last onto it.  He didnt recognize me right away, so I pulled him across the table and whispered "I was in Straight with you".  Weird realization ensued....and he just smiled and started telling me about how he was doing these days.

My clearest memory of him was standing me up at the very begining of an OMR which almost exclusively was dedicted to ripping me and my sanity to shreds.  Frankly, I wasnt too concerned with how he was doing lately.  He was courteous and all, but I spent the rest of the meal paranoid about being in the room with him.

That being said...mom and I started talking about Straight on the way home. Something that always ends up unsettling.  I was telling her about some of the abusive things I witnessed and encountered....of which she tried to counter with her horror stories of being in the convent for 14 years (mom was a cloistered nun from age 18-32).  She says to me,  imagine how it was to go through it for 14 years!  I got a little angry and told her that it really wasnt fair to say that, as she had the choice to leave at any time while in the convent.  I was incarcerated and under duress.  Of which she replied that no, that wasnt the case because her "therapists" all told her later on that she was stuck there "emotionally".  Effectively saying that she wasnt responsible for herself while in there because she was too brainwashed.  I dunno about you guys, but I reallly hate it when mom tries to justify her behaviors with the old "I didnt know any better" routine.  She applies it to most everything these days...and lately has begun even making things up about certain painful incidents that are so far from the truth I wonder if she isnt losing her mind.  I talk to her about traumatizing incidents when I was young that she exposed me too, and her answers are always sprinkled with how she knew it was wrong, but for whatever reason, usually someone elses influence...she didnt stand up for me.  That or she insists that she never screamed at me for certain things at all, and in fact tried to comfort me about them.....I almost slapped her once when she did this, I was so angry.  She had bullied and yelled at me so horrificly once because I accidently dropped a new doll and it broke (it was glass).  Only now to tell me that she never even got angry at me, and in fact tried to "comfort" me.  I was traumatized by that incident for the better part of my childhood....and she insisted she was never cruel.

Anyone else get this?

Gosh....I havent been over here in a long time. But yes I get this! Its so weird because I finally just stopped talking to my mom completely. Yes she sounds impossible to talk to. Just like my mom.

Sorry.