Well, at least one thing hasn't changed....

[cool hand 37]

Y'know? My name's John Bodine, and I got to RMA on January 17th 1990. Never graduated, and proud of it.  I spent last night and part of today reading a bunch of the posts on here, and I don't understand WHY YOU FUCKERS ARE STILL SCARED. What the fuck are you scared of?? Look, you might have been the worst, most perverted teenager the world has ever known... but your perversions would be fucking boring compared to those of the people that ran RMA. Look, it was a long time ago. No matter what you're guilty of, you didn't deserve that. Remember how they used to say "it's not a jail, there are no fences"? Well, I've done some prison time- and it was a cement-themed vacation in a green jumpsuit compared to Rocky Mountain Academy. I'd rather do 5 years in a state prison than another year in Bonners Ferry Idaho, and you can fucking quote me.
But I digress. My point (if you want to be charitable and call it that) is: stop being so fucking scared of these people. What they think is not important. How they feel (especially about you) is not important. They can't hurt you anymore. Don't be afraid to speak your name and talk about what you endured, if you think that it will bring you a greater measure of peace. I am not ashamed of any part of what I am, and the time I spent in that little corner of hell is a big part of who that is. We can all bitch and vent and quiver with rage at the memories, but those of us who survived that shit are more powerful because of it. We learned manipulation, obfuscation, method acting, deceit, and rage as a weapon from absolute masters of the craft. Admit it. It wasn't what they meant to teach us, probably- but that's more or less the only worthwhile stuff I learned while I was there.
Keep your head up. Stay strong and sleep well. There isn't a single staff member that worked there while I was there that I couldn't disfigure permanently with a crowbar if it came down to it, at this point. The same is probably true of you. THEY CAN"T HURT YOU ANY MORE.

I'm not making that much sense. I hope this helps someone.

-jon

[Anonymous]

BEAUTIFULLY said
people are still scared though...why?

[try another castle]

I guess for the same reason someone would still be angry. They haven't worked through everything yet. Last time I checked, this wasn't a race to see who could get over it the quickest.

But if you would like a trophy, here:  ::trophy:: Congratulations on your recovery.

[cool hand 37]

thanks for the trophy, but you've got me wrong. I'm just trying to help some people out a little. If I offended you, I apologize.
And for the record, I have recovered from absolutely nothing. In my whole life. Ever. So if you want to take the trophy back and give it to somebody more deserving, I'll totally understand. Peace.

[Anonymous]

HE'S not saying that people should be over it honey. Hes saying that people shouldnt be scared of Cedu

WHy are people still scared? ya know?

[Anonymous]

to clarify...he means why are people afraid to stand up to Cedu now?
(you can still "be scared" ...but not still too scared to stand up to them. They CANT HURT YOU NOW!)

[try another castle]

I don't understand why someone would be scared, either. But if someone is, so be it, they are.

I'm not offended, cool hand.

[cool hand 37]

by the way, my bad on the last name thing. I thought about it and I decided you were right. I still think it's stupid personally, but I guess we've all been through enough, and even the chance of having to take more shit about that time in our lives makes it incumbent on me protect my people's anonymity. Sorry.

[try another castle]

no problem.  

[Antigen]

I'm not scared of the people as individuals. Though I had to laugh at my own habitual self checking nervousness a couple years ago when I talked to a sr staffer from the Seed on the phone. Just a shadow of old habits, I recon. In my mind's eye, he was still a giant for the first 10 seconds or so of conversation.

But what scares me is how various aspects of Program philosophy seem to be seeping into the common culture.

For example, I went with some friends and my kids to the 4th of July party on Ft. Lauderdale Beach a few years back. For the celebration, they raised the bridges over the Intracoastal so no one could leave till they said so; they placed jersey barriers and hurricane fencing on either side of A-1-A to limit foot traffic to 3 points of ingress and egress; at each of these points, they had some uniformed and some very poorly camouflaged plain clothes cops surveiling the crowd, questioning and searching every 3rd or 5th party or so.

That's just one glaring example. I could list a good many more. What scares  me shitless is how most people around me don't seem the least bit bothered by it.

So that's why I think this bears discussion, writing, theatre and film, singing and, sometimes, vigils and protests and bong hits lit w/ votive candles stolen from Virgil Newton's "church".

[try another castle]

What scares me shitless is how most people around me don't seem the least bit bothered by it.

Boiling frog syndrome, possibly?

All of that, for a 4th of July party. (some party) That IS scary.

[Anonymous]

I think that people are scared because of lawsuits.

Much of the writings on this site...although they may be true...could be twisted by the powers that be into being little more than libel and slander.

All of us old timers see the same manipulative BS coming from the programmies and we also see how the schools masquerade as something different than their predecessors yet are really just the same thing wrapped up in a different package.  The package looks all that much better now but the contents are still essentially unknown to the purchaser.  Sometimes they remain unknown for a long time.

These are no longer just podunk outdoorsy schools run by a few tree hugging hippies they are now Big Business with lots of money to devote to slap suits only to shut us up.

I highly doubt that most of the posters that had problems with the schools are going to come out of the closet and create a collective voice to denounce the industry.  A voice that is not anonymous that is.  From what I have seen, when someone does come forward, they pay the price. Then, everybody else  sees it and stays on the sidelines out of harms way.

[iknowcedulies]

report  mark wasserman  to  the  FBI  

the sociopath  spits out  crap  

wasserman  in  jail  for   running  a   drug empire    

tell the  consiegliere to  sue sue sue  

they cannot   put  us  in  porno  films   when  they  are  in  club fed.  

anybody  seen  the   drug  den   he  runs  in  cali

[Anonymous]

There are other good reasons not to post your name or safeguard your identity.  A few years ago, this board was jumping with an in depth analysis of CEDU's transgressions that drew a lot of participation and some debate. Most contributors were anti-CEDU.   There were a few rabid pro-program venters.    One very intelligent, articulate,successful but angry anti CEDU individual did not offer his real name, but his alias was a possible indicator of his identity.  One pro-programmie specifically threatened his family (wife and child) in a graphic manner.  

Another individual I know did post his name and that was a problem after he was googled for other reasons.

Also, for many people, attending the program still carries a large stigma by society.  They don't care that the program was warped.  But they will judge you for having attended one.   Thus, if you want to relate some of the more personal aspects of your experiences, you may not want total strangers knowing them.

[blownawaytheidahoway]

http://www.fornits.com/wwf/viewtopic.php?t=20357

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