I was a student at CEDU for a short period from about Sep ? Nov (?) 1983. Twenty-three years later and here I am still thinking about that little piece of earthbound Hell?.I guess that shows the impact that this ?school? had on me. I don?t know if it?s selective memory working here or a means for a kid to block out a traumatic experience, but I don?t remember too much of my day to day activities during that time??.I do remember with great detail the ?Raps? and Truth Propheet that I went through. It will always boggle my mind how a place like that can exist. I saw, as I?m sure everyone else posting here saw, the daily episodes of verbal/emotional/and sometimes physical abuse at the hands of our ?counselors.? By no means am I a professional therapist or anything remotely close to it, but I would have to say that constantly screaming at a kid that he/she is a worthless piece of shit is not a very valuable therapeutic tool. Back in 83 I was a rebellious kid who liked to ditch school to party, listen to ?unauthorized/unacceptable (CEDU lingo here)? rock music, and hang out with friends which naturally caused friction at home. Because of my relatively ?tame? past, I did not do so well at the raps and Propheet as I was not about to make up crap to say to satisfy the counselor?s apparent bloodlust. I watched as kids shared tragedies of their life while counselors and students alike screamed, yelled, belittled, mocked, and generally made fun of them. It was also so apparent that some of the stories were fictitious and told only to make the yelling stop. These sessions were a wonderful way to teach an impressionable teen about paranoia, mistrusting others, how to attack others as a means of deflecting the attention from yourself, and a general up close and personal view of the dark side of human behavior. This was a very sick and unhealthy place??.
Some of the other things I remember about the place:
Truth Propheet ?The extended ?Rap? session using sleep depravation and climate control techniques to break down resistance?.interestingly enough these same interrogation techniques are outlawed by the Geneva Convention and against international law??good enough for CEDU though!
Contract Corner ? A corner in the main house that had two chairs and a table there. The perfect spot to set up a ?contract? with another student to split, share cigarettes, etc, etc, etc.
Smushing ? a truly disturbing practice of same sex group cuddling??.?nuff said.
I recall some of the counselors there at the time as being Eric Melzer, John Padgett, and a skinny woman with longer dark brown hair and screechy voice (Karen?).
After putting up with the abuse, mind games, and extra work details (pot and pans) for several months, in late Nov 83, another student and I split from Cedu. At about dinner time when most everyone was inside the house, we just walked down the road to the highway, spending the night behind a diner in town. The next day, several of the counselors found us and started trying to talk us in to coming back. The girl I was with did end up going with them. I spoke to her about a year later and was told that in the Raps that followed, she was brutally attacked. I refused to return and ended up hitching a ride back to Los Angeles and away from that place.
I my time after Cedu I had my share of disappointments. I also grew up, matured, and became an adult (whatever that means), all without the ?benefit? of Cedu?s teachings. As a happy and content adult and family man, I now reflect on my time at Cedu and am happy I was able to run from that place?.a personal sort of courage I didn?t know I had in me at the time. It also taught me at an early age about the evil and hate that can lurk in some people and the power of ?Mob? behavior.
I also truly believe that there is a special place in Hell for the person(s) that created that school and the ?counselors? that perpetuated its existence. If any of you are reading this, I hope you wake up sometimes in the middle of the night with a sudden and bitter cold feeling griping you, and know in the deepest corners of your black hearts that many of the children and teens whose lives you touched in such a hurtful and hateful manner remember you only with the deepest contempt and loathing. I pity you?..
Well, thanks for letting me vent?.feels good. Good luck to all survivors of that institution!
