Treatment Abuse, Behavior Modification, Thought Reform > Facility Question and Answers

Father and son WC

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Oz girl:

--- Quote from: ""Badad"" ---
But Im still not done with my fixer-upper. So Im stuck in this material world when I should be more concerned with my family.
 Again.. If we made good money I could afford to pay someone to do my roof, windows, siding,furnace A/C and interior. But since I screwed up and ended up a blue collar idiot.  Thats how I feel.

--- End quote ---


I always find the term blue collar slob or blue collar idiot somewhat oxymoronic. When my loo breaks and water sprays everywhere i dont know what to do. So i call a plummer. he has the knowldge and expertise to fix the problem and the level of work ethic that makes him willing to stick his hand into a lavatory while I jump around screaming like a girl. This does not seem to me like a man who is either idiotic or lazy :D

Nihilanthic:
I'm a genius without a college education.

grapeape:
First of all even though the house is taking a lot of work at least you own it free and clear and that's saying a lot in this day and age where people are in hock up to their eyeballs; where one thing goes wrong and the whole house of cards falls down. That was a smart thing to do because at least you will always have a place to live.
You have to stop putting yourself down.  Not just because your son picks up on it and can manipulate you with it but because when you put yourself down you are putting him down.  Believe it or not he does look up to you even though he would never admit it.  When you put yourself down as a parent you are telling him that the end product, that is, your son, is defective.  If you are failure as a parent then he is a failure as a son.  STOP IT!  Try finding something about him you really like and respect.  Find something about yourself you like and respect then try to convey how glad you are to be his father and emphasise whatever you can that makes you feel like a success as a parent.  Don't be phony cuz he'll smell it a mile away and it won't work.  Be genuine.  Stop beating yourself up and be the father you want to be; don't try to make him be the son you want him to be.  Let him know you are on his side, right or wrong (that doesn't mean you won't condone wrong, just that you will still be on his side).  Good luck.

Anonymous:

--- Quote from: ""Badad"" ---What forum should he start in where you kind people would talk to him?
--- End quote ---


The main forum is usually the best place to start. Fornits is such a brutally nasty place that it sounds like he'd fit in immediately.

Deborah:

--- Quote from: ""Badad"" ---But I suffer from depression.  Especially during these cold months. Talking with you people helps.  Allot
--- End quote ---


Get yourself some cod liver oil. Yeh, sounds nasty, but the one I take is emulsified and flavored with peppermint. It will work in a matter of days. May not need it when you're getting adequate exposure to sun, but then you could switch to regular fish oil or something with Omega 3s. Might also help with the past results of abuse of alcohol.

Get that son onboard to help with some of those repairs. It could be a good way to vent some frustration, and if you're a respectful in your leadership with him, he could learn some valuable skills.

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