Treatment Abuse, Behavior Modification, Thought Reform > World Wide Association of Specialty Programs and Schools (WWASPS)

WWASP Experiences

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Anonymous:
After looking at the anti-wwasp forum, I think this person is who she claims to be.

Still, her "only 60 days, yada yada.." stance annoys me a little.........

Anonymous:

--- Quote from: "FemanonFatal2.0" ---
--- Quote from: "DAG" ---
--- Quote from: "Guest" ---
--- Quote ---They are trying to drive you off on purpose so that parents like you don't share your story.
--- End quote ---
Mighty presumptuous of you. In your world everyone must have an agenda, I guess. Maybe the trolls think it's funny to push the buttons ofasshole parents in denial. Fucking lousy know-it-alls like you make me wanna puke.
--- End quote ---

OK. Point taken. Pam, some of these guests are just "losers."
--- End quote ---


Uhh... I would NOT go there.

These people have different opinions than you, that does not make them losers. You must be pretty high on that bright shiny white horse your daddy bought you to think everyone who disagrees with you are just losers.
--- End quote ---

No, not people who disagree with me. People who say things just to "push" this person's buttons. Pretty pointless just to bully someone for the fun of it, not too nice, and counterproductive.  :soapbox:  :soapbox:  :timeout:  ::poke::  :jerry:

FemanonFatal2.0:

--- Quote from: "Guest" ---She has a sick child/mother relationship thing going on with Kevin over at anti wwasp.
--- End quote ---

Look, Im going to tell you all this, not because I'm defending her but because I know from personal experience that Pam is a real parent and she is also devoting a lot of time, energy and money to the fight against institutionalized child abuse. She has even made a decent donation to Fornits in order to keep the hosting paid for this next year so while your bashing on her maybe you can thank her for the fact that she is paying for you to be able to bash her. lol

I will have you know, that I have not always been a Pam fan, for exactly the reason stated by our guest above. But I have come to realize that she has her reasons for still supporting antiwwasp and those are the same reasons she supports Fornits, even though most of you give her hell.

I honestly think there is a point where our judgments should be put aside, when someone is putting in an appreciated effort to warn parents AGAINST doing what she did, I think she is deserving of our cooperation. You dont have to like her in order to appreciate what she is doing, and you dont have to forgive every program parent to give this one that appreciation. I appreciate her, I don't necessarily like her, but I appreciate what she is doing for this cause.


--- Quote from: "Guest" ---Sorry program parents, but you lost your credibility a long time ago. The day you chose to send your kid to a program.
--- End quote ---

We can all speculate on what drove a parent to make that arrogant, ignorant and selfish decision, I believe you all know how I feel about that. But I think when a parent comes across some information, and pulls their kid that is EXACTLY what we have been working to achieve and it is hypocritical for us to shun someone who did the right thing. Regardless of her generally misguided motives before she did end up doing the right thing, and thank god it was only 2 months. My mom left me to rot for 2 years, and believe me she discounted any information she came across, so my hat comes off to Pam for having the guts to admit she was wrong and go rescue her kid.

What you guys dont know is that being a mother to an violent child is way more than most can handle, and even despite that she still brought her son home. I know plenty of mothers who would keep their kids in a program simply because they were AFRAID to bring their child home. At least Pam was brave enough to do the right thing, even though that meant that she would have no escape from the multitude of problems that her son was soon to bring back into her home. That is MUCH more than any "program parent" would do... We all know they wouldn't even dream of doing what she did in her situation. So my view is that she IS different from the rest, maybe not in the beginning but she is making up for it and I think we should let her do that in peace.

psy:

--- Quote from: "Miss Antsy Pam" ---Spending any more precious time on the "Pam bashing" thread has become counterproductive.  I need to spend more time on doing the REAL work that might just put an end to the whole "teen help industry"     Actions ALWAYS speaks louder than words and there is little reason for me to continue to give further time to this fodder.

By all means...continue on people...end of discussion for me.  I have WORK to do.
--- End quote ---

Bravo.  Now you're getting it (and faster than I did, for that matter).  This type of argument just goes round and round in a circle anyway. Besides, actions, as you say, do speak louder than words.

Merry Christmas, and to all you fornitscators too.

Anonymous:
You all are walking into the middle of a dysfunctional, codependent mother & son relationship. There is no "right" or "wrong" in a situation like this, and really nothing to be arguing about.

From her blog blog:



--- Quote --- Dylan and I have been fighting for about 4-5 days before they started working on Monday.  Things have not been good between us since he got fired on August 22nd.  Dylan and I living together when he is not working has always been a recipe for disaster – throw in some MAJOR demolition/ construction hell at the house – and the unemployment situation and lack of HELP only makes me angrier at Dylan.  I am not angry that he got fired, I am angry that he is doing very little (ie: nothing) to FIND gainful employment.

I watched him do absolutely NOTHING for 2 weeks and it took everything in me not to want to kill him – I was advised to be a little understanding.  I took the advice because I felt it was right (it was), but inside I was still RAGING and FURIOUS, but trying to be nice, loving, supportive and understanding with him on the OUTSIDE.

Stettner has taught me the difference between being “care-frontational” and “kong-frontational.  This information has been very helpful to me and I feel I have made much progress along those lines in a over last 2-4 months.  It is always about being in a “teachable state.”  Sometimes I can be teachable; other times not so teachable. I find myself not so receptive because my resentments get in the way.  I have my demons to face and conquer and Dylan has his – we both have our worst issues over the same person – Dylan’s father (Taylor) – just different reasons for our fury.

Our respective issues with Taylor are wide and diverse and most definitely play themselves out when/while we are fighting or when the household is in a stage of unhappiness or unrest.  ALL of this baggage prevents us for leading happy and fulfilling lives.  We must face these issues if we are to survive without being real f’d up people for the rest of our lives.  I sincerely thought I had come to terms with the damage I endured while Taylor & I were together, but a single conversation with him in February of this year made me realize that “I” still have an array of unresolved issues that cause emotional pain for me and most surely affect my interactions with Dylan.

That is MY STUFF and MY work.  He is not responsible for the sins of the father.  He, on the other hand, has different issues with his Dad and HE will have to deal with those issues “outside” of the relationship he and I ENJOY- most of the time!  I am biased and I know it.

That is why we have Dr. Stettner – a TRAINED and highly skilled clinician & professional helping us sort this stuff out.  Clearly, Dylan and I have NO CLUE on how to do this, but we are relying on her to help us find our way OUT of a cycle we do not want to continue.  We would be “dead in the water” without her and WE LOVE HER AND HER FAMILY SO MUCH!!!

Dylan does not think he is an addict or an alcoholic – the rest of us think he is. You can turn a cucumber into a pickle, but once a pickle, you can never be the cucumber again. He says he can quit any time so I invited him to do so.  Dylan made a commitment to me that he would NOT DRINK for 90 days.  I said that is a brilliant idea – if he can go off booze for 3 months I am sure we will all see a much different Dylan.

We talked for about 3 hours yesterday and I explained my take & experience with AA/NA.  For the first 3-5 years I NEEDED to go to 5 meetings a week and live in a sober living house with 12 other women.  My brain has been engraved with all I learned from AA – whenever I am unsettled I go right back to all the things those people taught me.  13 years later, I still don’t make “big decisions” without the advice of my trusted advisors – you all know who you are.  When there is chaos, I go back to the beginning and make gratitude lists…whatever works.

The point being is that establishing a concrete AA/NA foundation made me solid and gave me a guide for living comfortably in my own skin.
--- End quote ---


--- Quote ---We survived 21...what's next??? Just more crap!
With respect to Dylan....What he is doing now is not what we agreed to.  Yes, I am pissed because he had a total of 11-12 days of doing NOTHING – only had 1 requirement the WHOLE damn time – get your driver’s license renewed (I even gave him money so he could pay the fee in his birthday card) BEFORE it expired on his birthday which was Wednesday!
One thing…one simple thing to accomplish in 11 days…is that too much to ask?  I think NOT!  
He has plenty of time to go on joy rides up and down PCH to clear his head and get him out of the house.  How can his calendar be SO FILLED with appointments that he can’t get a simple DL renewed on time…when you have not worked for 11 days?  It was not as if he "didn’t know" because “I” was the one who harped on that topic for last 3 weeks. It is just so fricking irresponsible and I am sick of it.
The “Task Sheet” I gave him might as well be wall paper.  He sees no reason to even commence ANYTHING on that list unless he is EXPRESSLY told 1000 times –maybe more…to do so, just so he can have the satisfaction of pissing me off.  He has also suddenly developed some newly developed fear of spiders – since some/most of the projects he is to work on will involve clearing spider webs and other debris. Nothing on that sheet takes a rocket scientist to complete – he was supposed to have already started on the 4th and done by the weekend -  but he was dealing with  hangovers.
This is bull$hit and he has been "working me" all week trying to figure out how to get out of a weekly 2-3 hour session with Stettner AND then having to attend an AA/NA meeting EVERY Sunday after the session. That seems to interfere with HIS agenda.
 As long as he had a valid driver’s license and insurance, he was allowed to drive my bigger, more powerful, scooter to his appointments with her, but sorry…NO DL…no drive.  He made sure that any way available to actually attend his session - he sabotaged…I believe, on purpose.  I am sure he is only going to placate ME anyway.
He is a lazy slob!  He will call her with some crackpot story about “how unreasonable I am”.  He needs to focus his attention on finding a way to make his appointment with her tomorrow.  Maybe a call from her might nudge him back into reality and how he lives on EASY STREET!  I am tired of being taken advantage of or living in this house with the friction that is in direct proportion to his level of inertia.  His mere presence can make me want to smack him across the face…just venting…I will not lay a hand on him.  
I will talk more to Stettner on Tuesday, but I know she is going to get some stupid sob story  from him on WHY he can’t make his appointment Sunday...all bull$hit. He must see her ONCE a week in order to live here…period…no discussion.
--- End quote ---



--- Quote ---Ever since the estrangement between Dylan and me that began last Monday and was “full blown” by Thursday, I have sent a text message to him every day telling him that  love him and that I pray God is watching over him and keeping him safe – I never received a response until about 3pm Sunday afternoon. In response to telling him that I love him…he said that “doesn’t help when I am fu*ked…Thanks though…”  Since I prepaid for Dylan to stay a week at the motel and check out is today, I figured that I would be hearing from him in some way shape or fashion once my money stopped flowing.  Now is when it REALLY gets hard and he get very personal & ugly!

The PRIMA IRY reason I paid for the 1 week rental at the motel was because I really didn’t feel like hearing all the guilt messages…”I am sleeping in the street, I am hungry, etc.”  I paid for my own peace of mind and to buy some time until I had time to sort things out.  I even offered to pay for another week just so I didn’t have to deal with the Dylan drama that I know is coming once he realizes how serious I am.

The days of my financial support of a lifestyle I don’t feel is neither productive nor appropriate for someone of Dylan’s age, is over.  I need about $1700/month to just break even on the upstairs unit while Dylan lives there paying NO RENT having a grand old time these past 6 months - “his money” is reserved for partying or partying supplies, a cleaning lady to clean his room and do his laundry, and basic utilities (DWP & Gas Co)…not cable with ALL movie channels, no internet connection, monthly cell phone bill.  He comes home after work with an entourage of 3-9 people almost every night! I go up there and it is like some frat house with people all over the place, never knowing who's face I might see in the morning. THIS WAS NOT WHAT I SIGNED ON FOR!!!

The phone calls and guilt trips have already started and I am an evil mother who is “pulling the rug out from under him.”  Told him this should not be a surprise as he has been warned many times since I came home from the hospital that he was on “thin ice with me” – whether or not he CHOSE to HEAR that is not my concern.
Pause….Dylan calling…

He is calling me names, saying that I am a liar, I go back on my promises, the reason he is such a “good liar” is because he learned it from me….blah…blah. He said that I am just an addict and a “Xan head”…meaning I am wasted on Xanax all the time.  As I told him…am I taking Xanax?…yes!  Have my docs been weaning me off…yes!  I was very upfront with Stettner and the rest of my doctors about my attempts to self-medicate when my depression is not under control.
Basically...a few phone calls with Dylan being nasty and hanging up on me…then calling me back because he wants something or he forgot some insult he needed to hurl at me.  I can’t control Dylan or the hurtful things that get said. He is angry and is just going to need to work things out on his own this time. His mother needs to look out for herself.

I have an appointment with Stettner tomorrow so I will be out most of the day.  On a scale of 1-10, I would give myself a 7 for today!
--- End quote ---

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