Are yoiu still in group, inside, where it matters, still in some fucked up confrontation....dou avoid people you don't know....do you avoid people you know.....can you deal with crowds or do you think thery will start motivating and confronting you....do you carry a gun.....maybe a knife.....are you sure that tey'll know if you......break a law...smoke a joint....cheat on your husband or wife.......your taxes.....steal things from the store.....lie about where you were your senior year in high school....what you did in Florida......where you went for a couple of years....do you have nightmares about weird shit from Str8 happening in your present life and wake up in a cold sweat with your skin crawling.....it's another one of the nightmares honey.....go back to sleep......maybe something really fucked up happened back there, maybe more than just the bruises and the back pain....hard to say when it's numb all over.......then again, it's better than it was in there, and sometimes that's good enough........it used to take me so much more to get off, but nowadays a little is all I need.....hard to sleep at night, and it's been cold on the other side of the bed for q while now, she's not coming back, she probably won't bother to to come pick up her shit. ...poor thing, she was in one, too....with a different name and different building, but the same old shit.....imagine tha, she goes through that hell and then ends up shacking up with me.....what the hell did we do to deservwe that?......doesn't matter now, white noise from the other room lulls me into dizzy silence and the cold chills me to the bone.....at least they taught me how to NOT FEEL ANYTHING ANYMORE........it's a survival technique, I know, I'll be here a long, long time......
