ARE YOU OVER IT? A casual survey...

[like a bird]

Well, ARE you over it?

It seems like some folks are, and some are not, so I was interested in a little headcount on the matter.

Say yes or no, or ramble on at length.

[Shelby]

The Straight shit never bothered me much to begin with since I was treated worse at home.

BTW - Hello to the new people on the board. I'm MG8's wife and haven't been around much lately due to one ass-kickin case of the flu.  ::puke::

Shelby
St. Pete/VA
82-84

[JDavid]

Yes, except one thing.  I don't know if I was somehow naturally such an all-or-nothing, uncompromising person, or if it is spawned from Straight's all-or-nothing brainwashing.  One example is: I probably would have been a more appealing songwriter if I had not been this way.  I write elaborate, heavy stuff that is too technical for the masses to get into.  It has very little "groove" to it.  I can't expect people to relate to this level of aggression and tedium; therefore, I have no audience.

David
Kennesaw, GA

[ehm]

Not until every one of these places has been shut down and our society as a whole understands that the only way to "fix" a child is with love. The difference is, this isn't about me anymore. It's about our children, and the greedy idiots who can continue treating them like humans with no rights! It is my duty to do everything in my power to help them.
Morli
_____________________________________________

  "I know we've come a long way, we're changing day to day, but tell me, where do the children play?"
           ~Cat Stevens



[ This Message was edited by: Morli on 2003-03-10 07:46 ]

[85 Day Jerk]

...........unless you are dead inside.  What happened to us was a part of our growing up and like it or not, it is a part of us.  Can you honestly tell me that you can 'get over' knowing how to read, ride a bike, throw a football, put on make up, drive a car, cook your favorite meal,
just because something unpleasant may be associated with it?
     More and more, a select few folks in here are
reminding me of the one's in my program who CONNED
their way through the program, and could'nt understand why I did'nt want to be friends with them.  I never got 'over' the Straight Experience
because I went in there with full intentions of getting straight.  I had no choice in the matter.
I accepted the situation and I dealt with it.  I am not saying I made it easy on the staff, because I was one of the worst Jerks of my era.
I was famous for stuff like waiting for the crucial moments of "feelings" during a Love Rap,
and quietly folding up a chair and slinging it 20
feet in the air scaring the shit out of everyone when it landed.
      But yeah, I do agree, that if I had Conned my way through the program, lived in fear all that time with all that repression and stuff, I can see that it would be really easy to get 'over'
it now.  You are on your own, you can do what you want.  Call in sick when you're really not, lie to everyone you meet, drive 70mph through school zones, who cares?  You Are Over It and that is what makes it all so Gosh Darned Special and puts you head and shoulders above all us losers.

_________________
In the line of fire, you know what to say
They gave us no choices, just one shade of grey
Back at that hellhole, behind Tyrone Mall
We walked in darkness, kept hitting the walls
I took the time to feel for the door
I had been treated, but what the hell for?

[ This Message was edited by: 85 Day Jerk on 2003-03-10 09:53 ]

[Anonymous]

For some of the people who have written in regards to straight or their experinces. I wonder if these people realize that ten to twenty years have passed. When will you stop focussing on negative things. I've managed to stay clean move on and have a family. I don't want to make you feel like I'm attacking you but bad things happen in everyday life. We must move on forget.I will pray that you will learn from others mistakes and try to see a better way.      :grin:  :grin:  :grin:

[Froderik]

Everybody's different Mr/Mrs Anonymous...OK everybody, whaddya say we just let this one roll off of our backs, shall we?  :rofl: Can't we all just get along?

[2dogs]

I'm Totally over it.  And BTW , know-it-all , I bought every bullshit line they ever fed me. I believed I was saving my own life. I think your basis for being over it coinciding with being dishonet or uncaring is so far off the mark. I'm more apt to think it's all the folks who have done something with thier lives who are over it.  It's all you broke fuckers who are doing all the crying. Thats what I think...2Dog$

[ClayL]

I'd say I'm 99.9% over that damned place. Minor to major things, creep in every now and then.

Clay

[ This Message was edited by: ClayL on 2003-03-11 00:21 ]

[JDavid]

I'm a broke fucker, but I'm claiming I'm over it except that one last detail that's still suspicious to me.  

My actual tangible problems can be blamed in the ruling class and their scheme of economy domination.  That's not Straight's fault. Even though Straight is quite the buddy to many of the Republicans currently in power.  I'm up for removing these people from power.  ::armed:: How 'bout it?

At least I am completely debt free.

David
Kennesaw, GA

On 2003-03-10 22:41:00, 2dogs wrote: "I'm Totally over it.  And BTW , know-it-all , I bought every bullshit line they ever fed me. I believed I was saving my own life. I think your basis for being over it coinciding with being dishonet or uncaring is so far off the mark. I'm more apt to think it's all the folks who have done something with thier lives who are over it.  It's all you broke fuckers who are doing all the crying. Thats what I think...2Dog$"

[Froderik]

Well, I'm with you, JDavid. Yeah, I'm broke but I don't intend to let that be the status quo forever. I'm not going to say that every survivor that is "fucked up" now can blame str8 100%, but there are some who were dealt VERY shitty hands by their families. Who have had to live on the street or in their cars. My survival skills and my family life ultimately were not helped too much by straight, but I know that there are some out there who have had it 50 times worse than I have. Don't judge a man until who have walked in his shoes. That's what the big chief say and if you don't like it, TOUGH SHIT!  :lol:

[ehm]

I really appriciate what you had to say Alex.
 That's a really good point. We are all different. If I had a bio-family that gave a rats ass about me,(with the exception of my sister) I'm sure I'd have forgiven them long ago. Instead, to this day, or as of last July, I had to sit on the phone and listen to my mom tell me that by age 7, I was unlovable. Sorry mom, why didn't you notice your husband abusing me every day since age 2. Then, when the ass-hole dies, you ship me off for 5 years of more abuse, just so I could turn 18, and be homeless. Yay!!!
 But, that, back then, was the best summer of my life. I was free. Sure, I slept in my tiny Chevy Sprint hatch-back, in the middle of a corn field, or an abandoned building. I didn't even own a pair of shoes and stole gas and food everyday to survive, but I finally had a family. We were all in the same boat. Pirates. Our little gang of homeless rejects. Funny thing though, all our parents had money! We were just kids. We weren't violent, we weren't mean, well, except that we always made little Keith ride in the trunk of Joel's car when ever we went out, he was the youngest, 13, he didn't seem to mind that much. He was the only one of us that was a runaway. There were 5 of us, I was the only girl. I would have never made it without them. We created a hierarchy for ourselves, and our abandoned building was 'The Castle.' Joel was my best friend, and without even meaning to, started my life over for me. He was from Jefferson city, Missouri. His car died, so we were left with just mine. Everyone went their separate ways except we two. He talked me into driving him back up to Missouri, to try and get his high school girlfriend back, Amy. Hell yes I went, I hated Dallas. The day we got to Missouri was the day I met Darren, Xyla's Daddy. Dallas was forever gone. Xyla Blue is my daughter.The only time I ever got pregnant, so far anyway. Darren named her Xyla, I named her Blue. He thought it would be a girl, and I thought boy, so when she arrived we put them together, and it was a perfect fit. God, Darren's death has blown a hole through my heart. I can't help sounding like a whiny pussy, cuz some days, that's exactly what I am. Sorrow is just way to familiar, but I'm learning how to walk on the sunny side. It sure takes a long time to grow up when you're an orphan, and in the same breath, I sure had to grow the hell up fast.
I do have one sibling, she's 7 years younger than me, and we are close now, but I didn't even like her until she was 16. She lives in Seattle now, as far from Dallas as possible. Our childhoods were opposite of each others, yet we both can't stand the woman who gave us our lives. We are greatful however for the one thing that person contributed to though, our births. Unfortunately, my brother Gavin never even got that. She, at 8 months pregnant, for three days  hemorrhaged,(the placenta was separating from the uterine wall) and by the time her mother told her to got to the emergency room, he was dead inside of her, he didn't have to suffer and die, he could have been saved. My dad was playing golf when Gavin was delivered stillborn. Being a mommy, I know that would not have happened had he been mine. I don't ever want to understand my mother. There's no excuse for neglectful parenting. My dad was a doctor. He didn't work at home though, he always resented when any of us were sick. I hated my father, he was mean. Yes there really are complete and utter bastards in this world. I suppose they're here to balance out the good. So yah, whatever, I had a crappy first hand. The cards I hold today make up for it ten fold. We do have to choose to be happy. Straight was just one of the pot holes in the drive of my lifetime. It just happened to be a pretty big one!
Sorry this was so long. I don't dwell there anymore, that's how I'm able to, for the first time in my life, write about it. People always tell me I should write a book. And no-one's forcing you to read this crap, but thanks if you are.
Morli

 ::soapbox::


P.S. Hey Bob, if I send you a self-addressed, stamped envelope, will you send me some bumperstickers? I'll send cash if you need me to.
I was planning on passing fliers around here. I live in a fairly small town, but there are 3 colleges here, all with in walking distance of each other. I'm also going to circulate them to the mental health officials I know here, whom I know are anti-tough-lovers.

[Anonymous]

This was a good topic to start,laB. It's interesting to see how varied the responses are.

If I *am* over it in most ways, that doesn't mean I think everybody else should be able to "just get over it."  Somebody told me a couple months after I left Straight that I should just "let go and let God" get me over Straight. I don't remember exactly how I responded to the guy, but I'm told they were eventually able to identify him with dental records.:em:

I was obsessive about Straight for years after I left. I wanted the entire world to acknowledge how screwed up Straight was.  I wanted it talked about on every major media network, and I wanted a TV Movie of the Week made about it.  I wanted Oprah and Donahue to do expose's with hundreds of ex-Straightlings speaking out and marching in the streets.

For various reasons, there was a part of me that felt like I was only on probation from Straight (and another, unrelated cult I joined after I left Straight). Subconsciously, I was afraid that if I screwed up too badly in life, someone was going to say it was because I'd been pulled from the program. They were going to take over my life and force me to live like a zombie again.

This wasn't entirely paranoid, because Straight had scared my family so much that they even hid the aspirin from me for a few months.  

It was ten years or so before I consciously realized that the "probation" feeling was there.  By that point, it wasn't realistic to think someone was going to kidnap and reprogram me, but it still took time to accept.  Kind of like accepting that any vivid nightmare is really over.

I still wonder what my life would have been like if it hadn't taken so many bizarre twists and turns. But twenty years later, so much has happened and so much is happening (good and bad) that I can afford to leave Straight in the past.

I still care what is happening with the Straight-descendant programs, and I'd truly love to see Sembler and the others closed down, but I don't feel the need to be there personally when it happens.

In that sense, yeah, I'm over it.

[Anonymous]

This was a good topic to start,laB. It's interesting to see how varied the responses are.

If I *am* over it in most ways, that doesn't mean I think everybody else should be able to "just get over it."  Somebody told me a couple months after I left Straight that I should just "let go and let God" get me over Straight. I don't remember exactly how I responded to the guy, but I'm told they were eventually able to identify him with dental records.:em:

I was obsessive about Straight for years after I left. I wanted the entire world to acknowledge how screwed up Straight was.  I wanted it talked about on every major media network, and I wanted a TV Movie of the Week made about it.  I wanted Oprah and Donahue to do expose's with hundreds of ex-Straightlings speaking out and marching in the streets.

For various reasons, there was a part of me that felt like I was only on probation from Straight (and another, unrelated cult I joined after I left Straight). Subconsciously, I was afraid that if I screwed up too badly in life, someone was going to say it was because I'd been pulled from the program. They were going to take over my life and force me to live like a zombie again.

This wasn't entirely paranoid, because Straight had scared my family so much that they even hid the aspirin from me for a few months.  

It was ten years or so before I consciously realized that the "probation" feeling was there.  By that point, it wasn't realistic to think someone was going to kidnap and reprogram me, but it still took time to accept.  Kind of like accepting that any vivid nightmare is really over.

I still wonder what my life would have been like if it hadn't taken so many bizarre twists and turns. But twenty years later, so much has happened and so much is happening (good and bad) that I can afford to leave Straight in the past.

I still care what is happening with the Straight-descendant programs, and I'd truly love to see Sembler and the others closed down, but I don't feel the need to be there personally when it happens.

In that sense, yeah, I'm over it.

[JDavid]

I'm with ya there on not expecting anyone else to be over it, even though I probably am.  Just from the few ex-Straight kids I have talked to, even though we went through almost the identical situation, the programming entered our minds differently and had different effects.  Some of what was engrained into my thought patterns is completely alien to a couple of ex-Straight people I have explained it to recently.

We all entered at different times.  We all were stuck their for different lengths of time.  Some of us went through some phases or all phases, while some of us didn't do anything but sit on 1st for 9 months to a year & a half.  Too many variables to clump us all into one expectation.  

Remember.... the Straight way was that one thing works for everyone.  Anyone who agrees with "all of us need the same thing" might need to re-examine how much programming they still live with.

David
Kennesaw, GA