Who's a nigger lover

[Paul St. John]

Let's see...

Where I went, there were two black dudes, and few of what other dudes, who chilled with them and basically shared their culture.. one was Spanish.

I called their group, " The G's"

The two black dudes...


One was named Quante'.. He was fucking huge.  The guy looked like he was a huge thrity year old guy.  I mean.. he was big.. he was cool.  I started off with bad terms on him, when I wient to his group( the G's), and said, " Wassup G's?  You guys got an extra cigarette?"  Yeah.. He didn't like that, and spoke some mild shit.. was cool.. The other guys tried to convince hom to "run feelings on me", but I talked him out of it, and told him if i had something to say, he should say it then.. So all, in all, I was to a real bad start with Quanti, but with time we somehow gradually became cool...


We even spoke about getting some land in the woods somedays.. Back then that was what I wanted to do.. After being that place, I just wanted to taste freedom, in the most open way, and so I was actually planning on getting some land, and just chillin up there, and inviting others who wished.. He said, " Man.. I ll bring a trailor right up onto your hippie commune"..lol..

He would have been more then welcome.. I could see something about the dude.. I could see that he had seen a lot.. He was very well educated, and he oftne made fell, like I was talking to someone who could be my grandfather or something.

Then there was Tony.  I liked that fucker!  The powers that be there, did not.. I remember that!
They hated him.. It was because he was a smart fucking dude.. We didn't agree in all areas, but overall,  he was a dude, with awesome fucking street smarts, man, and he applied them in that place, and had the balls to speak up!  That's why he was always in trouble.  He wasn't a rebel without a cause... He knew exactly what he was saying.. We never become great friends or nothing, and for the most part, we had our seperate groups, but I did think that there was always a mutual respect, even though he was a "G", and I was " Dude".

I remember this one time.. The counselor stands up in front of the room, and says something like, "Today, we are going to do something specail.  We always get to ask you questions, and pry into your life.. Today, I 'm gonna allow you to ask me questions?"

I thought, right away.  " this is for the benefits of the idiots.  This shiot's rigged, and he is not for a second, gonna come down to our level.  if anything he's just doing this for practoice, and to trul fortify his skills"


and all the pussies( in reguards to this story, that is the best charactersiation I can give them) start asking questions..


and then Tony asks the first legitimate questsion.. an honest question.

Trapped that counselor like a fox in a trap,
and the counselor starts YELLING.. " Tony.. I knew where you were going with this.. I let you do it, Tony..You had yto take advantage... Yad.. yad.. yada"..

Go sit in the chair.. Just like that..

He bruised him up good.

Tony walked out and did as he was told, and never once took his eyes off that counselor.  never gave into the idea that he did something wrong.

He was one of my favorites in the place.


Paul St. John

[Paul St. John]

Oh wait.. there was another black dude, too.

If I remember correctly, he had to choose between there and prison.

I didn't like him.. I kinda hated that guy.
There was never any point where I got along with this guy.

can't even remember his name.



and there was actually only one other, too, who lasted about a day..
I think his parent's signed him out.  Now that in my mind is a good parent..lol

I remember he'd do a job, and when he considerred it done, he'd go sit down on a couch or something..lol

People would be like yelling at him and shit, and
he'd just be like, " Fuck that!  That shit's done"

In a lot of ways I agreed with him on that, and gotta a kick out of watching that shit after seeing nothing but mindless obedience for months.

Paul

[Paul St. John]

Then there were the four black dudes on my two hour bus ride there everyday.. Two were alright, and two were complete assholes.

Fisrt there were just three, and the two were alright and the one was a complete asshole, but when the other one showed up, that's when shit really started, and I became in more or less a war with all of them, and they started fucking with me bad.  I had two or three years on these kids, too..


I was scared at the time, because I was on probation.. a little fight here and there, maybe I oculd get away with, but now like this was in the system.. I'm on probation, and I fuck up some little kids on the way to my drug rehab..LMAO.. I would ve been fucked..

They eventually brought on like this 18 year old tough guy "G", to keep inner order, and both that guy and the bus driver agreed that they would violentaly testify on my behalf, if anything went down.

.. and so I agreed to go outside the bus, and take them all on in one shot..LMAO!  The bus driver, parked there, and said, " Who first?"

Now.. That was a cool bus driver!
One of the cool ones finally camne out and brought me my back pack, and that was it..

That bus driver then retired, and then I got a " G" bus driver, and the order keeper stayed too.
What a crazy bus, man.. I remember days where'd we'd be at a stop, and like the order keeper would be like beating the shit out of the real bad ass black dude, cause he d be like attcking him or something..

Still, all the way through, that one bad ass black dude, always had somewhat of a problem with me.. He was a fucked up kid.. he was being raised by his mom, and his dad was in jail for murder..

One day, the order keeper wasn't there, and it was just me, the young black dudes, and the "G" Bus driver.. And that bad ass black dude is like all talking shit to me and shit.. and since the straight up, well-disciplined order keeper wasn't there, the bus driver's like," You wanna fight Paul.. Go 'head.. I won't report ya."

right while he's driving and shit, in a moving bus...lol

The kid took out a knife.. the bus driver told him he had to put it away or he'd report him.

I insisted that he kkep the knife.. I went so easy on this kid, and I kicked the shit out of him..  the fight ended with him holding the kinfe pushed into his own throat...



LOL!! Here's where it gets funny.. I had a nice time in the moring at Daytop being confronted on why I had been cutting up my hands.
They must have thought I had become one of them or something.. it was a very serious offense too.


As far as that shit, I looked at it like this..

With all the shit you re putting these kids through, you outta let them cut themselves.  If you force them to repress this expression of pain, who knows what they re gonna start doing next.


Paul St. John

[Anonymous]

I didnt start this topic and admit to maybe adding a post or two in here,so belittle this topic all you want, it is none of my business.

[Anonymous]

Is that you?

Paul

[Anonymous]

yes it is I paul