I would not stick my nose into others affairs but could you give us a hint of what so ever reason that could result in sending a almost mature person away just as it should start a life of its own?
Covergaard, the more you say the more I think about moving to Denmark. I feel I'd be right at home there.
I know of the D-word. The states is a huge area and we are talking one child and I don't know how many family members in your family. Is that child not out-numbered if you choose to go into a wood in a tent with the child until the effects of the drugs is wearing off and a sensible conversation can take place?
I've seen bumper stickers that say "Take your kid hunting, don't hunt your kid". So I know I have some kindred spirits here and there. But that certainly isn't the prevailing attitude among American parents of this generation. 12-Step superstition pervades our society on all levels. Have you seen any American daytime talk television? They're set up like encounter sessions and deal very publicly with the most intimate issues in their "guests" lives. I can't even stand to watch them because it reminds me how dangerously unbalanced must be the millions of my neighbors who have kept this format of infotainment so popular for so many years. Makes it hard to be cordial w/ strangers, ya know?
I also know of the P-word. A grand-son or grand-daughter in the middle of an education is not aiding to a good result. A lot of young girls have a all bright picture of motherhood. But if you can afford some $ for a out of country programn, it should not be a problem to buy some simulation equipment like http://individual.utoronto.ca/elaine/baby.htm and some talks with a health visitor if you have them over there. Let her having her back killing her after a week carrying the extra weight. I still remember my wife back then. I remember the sleepless nights when our son had his first teeths.
Fact is that teen pregnancy is down in recent years in this country. You wouldn't know it for all the fear mongering. But it actually is. And there's been a rallying cry for "zero tolerance" in that area as well. You see the occasional news item about an incident that's just so far over the top you almost can't believe it; the 6yo boy expelled from school for kissing a classmate on the cheek, for example. By the time these kids hit 16, it's a wonder they're not just about all sexual diviants w/ all the anxiety about sexuality that we pile on them.
Here's how I dealt with it w/ my daughter. There was this one very rude boy in her class who just didn't know when to quit. He'd grab the girls in inapropriate ways and talk dirty till they cried. My daughter came home one day talking about making a sexual harassment complaint. I told her no, don't do that, it'll solve nothing and cause a lot of grief. Do this instead. Next time that boy gets out of line with you kick him hard in the balls, preferably in front of a crowd. She took my advice. Not only did that boy quit harassing girls that way, my daughter never had a moment's trouble w/ any of the rest of them after that either.
So simple yet so illusive to some people.
But as a Dane my task would be how to adwise my child to stay able to do normal work while enjoying about 55 liters of pure alcohol troughout the year as most of us Danes do. I respect that you have another culture and my adwise regarding that subject would not useful in another culture.
We drink quite a lot around here too. The difference is, as I say, 12-step superstition pervades our society. Instead of getting up and going to work like a respectable human being, it's considered proper instead to get upset and depressed, skip work, find a meeting, start the whole confession, self loathing cycle, in the end blame the beer and claim salvation through powerlessness. Ok, that's it, when's the next plane outa here?