Author Topic: still supporting straight...  (Read 1923 times)

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Offline sullyceltic

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still supporting straight...
« on: August 01, 2001, 04:22:22 PM »
still supporting straight...
i was back home recently. and in conversation with my

mother, she revealed that she still believed that straight

was the best thing that happened to me - that it saved

my life.


it's a waste of time to even talk to her about what happened in my 20+ months there. she's such a staunch supporter of it.


my father at least realizes what was wrong, and admits that

he had doubts back then, about me being there for so long.

i respect that. but i am astounded to hear my mother speak, now, in the year 2001, so well of straight.


is it possible to ever have common ground here?


i don't exactly desire any kind of relationship with my family,

that's why i live almost 1,000 miles away from them.

but i'd love it if my mom could at least admit something...

anything... to me... that maybe even just a couple of times,

she questioned what was going in that warehouse.


any thoughts?

"as I slooshied, i knew such lovely pictures"

-Alexander deLarge

A Clockwork Orange

« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »

Offline Antigen

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still supporting straight...
« Reply #1 on: August 01, 2001, 04:54:33 PM »
Re: still supporting straight...
I don't know. I just had a very short and unpleasant visit from my brother. Finally pegged his game, though, so I don't think I'll be getting upset with him any more. He seems to think that his position is morally superior to mine so that gives him the right to get all ticked off and indignant if I disagree with him. I was able to tell him that our father didn't abandon us, that he either refused to go or flunked the 'check out' interview and wasn't allowed around the house. But he did do all of the fund raising and recruiting stuff, regardless. But we didn't get to discuss much of anything cause he kept getting ticked off over things like whether or not pot causes brain damage. 20 years later and we can't even communicate about what happened.

-If there's a worse idea going than locking kids up for victimless crimes, it's probably locking them in close proximity to some tyrannical altruist bent on helping them even if it kills them.
http://trebach.org/conference.html'>Saving our Children from Drug Treatment Abuse

« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »
"Don\'t let the past remind us of what we are not now."
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Offline Kathy

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still supporting straight...
« Reply #2 on: August 02, 2001, 12:04:07 AM »
re: Still supporting Straight...
Well, I don't know, everyone seems to be different.  My father was the stronger supporter of my 2 parents and he died while I was on 4th phase, I can only hope that if there is any type of "after-life" that he sees exactly what went on and that makes me feel better.  Also the fact that one family left as a result of my father's death, that makes me feel better.  My mother told me they told her, THEY were going to let this damned program kill them! There are other ex-program parents that do believe me today and tell me so and that makes me feel better.   My mother seems to, deep down, know that it was wrong, but once in 1990, I wrote a non-flattering  letter to the editor about the program and one of my mother's co-workers happened to read it and asked her if it was me.  They told her that they thought that was a well-written letter, and she read them the riot act.  I think she is still vascillating on what she thinks.


All I know is, as I am a parent today, I try to do the best I can with what I know.  Most parents try to do the right thing.  Only God knows what I've done to my children that will land them on the psychiatrist couch 20 years from now.  I sincerely hope I haven't done anything, but I'd be naive to think I was the first one in history to be the PERFECT parent.  


So I try to go with the people that do validate me, and let the subject drop with those who either don't see it or won't admit it.  Parents are people too, and it seems it would be hard to admit such a HUGE mistake. Or maybe it is too painful for them to see the truth.  

« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »
Kathy
"Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle."    ~Plato

Offline j

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still supporting straight...
« Reply #3 on: August 01, 2001, 10:40:39 AM »
parents & straight
In dealing with the topic of Straight with my mother, it has helped to have this board.  I can tell her that a lot of people who went through Straight have mental health problems as a result, that a relatively high number of clients committed suicide, and that it is not just my own new idea: that people with doctorate degrees are calling Straight a cult.  Also, just in general, I am not alone now when I am telling her how awful it was.  She has conceded to some degree that it was a mistake, and finally does say she would not do it again.  She still doesn't understand why it is a "topic" at all -- she thinks I should just get on with my life.  Our conversations still are not very pleasant on the subject.  I keep thinking I will print off a bunch of stuff from Wes's site and other places for her to read, but it is such a heavy topic, and the time doesn't seem right.  I agree with Kathy that I think it is extremely painful for parents to even begin to see such a huge mistake.  I am never quite comfortable with the statement that parents do the best they can, especially on the topic of Straight.  I think parents, like the rest of us, are often lazy, irresponsible and neglectful.  I hold all of the parents culpable for the decision they made.  It was a harsh and extreme decision to imprison us in an institution they knew so little about.    

« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »

Offline ScottM

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still supporting straight...
« Reply #4 on: August 01, 2001, 09:03:42 PM »
Re: still supporting straight...
Sully and all,


That's too bad about your mom, like you and I discussed on a few occasions I'm in the same boat. I gave up trying to talk to my mother about it years ago. She made a comment like if she had to do it all over again, she would and it practically broke me. Like others have said, it's almost too much of a mistake for parents too handle. I've also never really told her or my father what went on there, I think it would be almost hurtful and I just don't have the balls to do it. Remember when my father was asking you if Straight helped etc.. he's starting to see what went on and like he said he spent ALOT of time and money on the whole thing. That probably pisses him off the most about the whole experience.


This past weekend the whole thing sort of came up at a family get together. I'm not really comfortable around my mom at all and most of my family knows it. There's just a built in tension that can be seen by everyone in the room. Denise (my girlfriend) got really upset at a comment that my brother in law made about how the problems between my mother and I are pretty much my fault or "self induced". It goes to show you how people just take the attitude like we should just get over it or whatever but the whole thing got me thinking. Would you tell a rape or molestation victim to just get over it? It's easier for my family to just basically deny that anything bad happened than to really sit down and think about it. I tell Denise that it would take 25 months for me to explain the whole thing to people because, for the most part,  unless you've lived it you just don't get it.


Hopefully one of these days I'll get the guts to just point my mom to Wes's site or something like that. For now I just think that it would be almost mean. Eventually I will, it's just a matter of time. Although it's probably not the right thing, not bringing it up has been the easiest thing for me to do.


Take care,


Scott

« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »

Offline sullyceltic

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still supporting straight...
« Reply #5 on: August 02, 2001, 01:49:50 AM »
Re: still supporting straight...
thanks scott. like you, when i get together with family,

the whole thing may come up again. sometimes it doesn't.

when i saw you in april, when i was up for my dad's 60th

b-day, nothing came up between my mom and i.

but when i met with her right before i left town on

monday, it was all there again.


i think indirectly bring it up sometimes too. maybe just out

of curiousity. too see if maybe she would say something

apologetic. i don't know. i think she has her regrets too,

be them buried in a campaign to save the world.

LOL...


but, i am a survivor. and despite what may well up in my eyes when i hear my mom still speak in NRA-like support of the program, i am a winner. i'm probably the luckiest man on the face of the earth. all due respect, mr. gerhig.

i got though all the s*&% and am still here to tell. i'm in good health and not working at a jiffy lube in wisconsin somewhere, right???


i guess what i have to realize, maybe what we all have to realize, is that even if we didn't go through straight, or kids,

or what-have-you, and even if we had a "great childhood" and never fought with our parents, we'd still - as adults -

disagree with them. maybe it's as simple as that...?


on another matter...

WHAT IN THE WORLD IS GOING ON WITH THE RED SOX??

CAN THEY JUST WIN ONE GAME FOR CRYING OUT LOUD?

THE YANK-MEES LOSE BIG TODAY - AND THE SOX CAN'T EVEN BEAT ANAHIEM!!!??!?!?!?!?!


baseball is a funny thing, it all comes down to one word:

you never know.




"as I slooshied, i knew such lovely pictures"

-Alexander deLarge

A Clockwork Orange

« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »

Offline jeff belflower

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still supporting straight...
« Reply #6 on: August 01, 2001, 07:35:47 AM »
Re: still supporting straight...
It's been 20 years since i was in straight. My mom and dad still think it was the best thing for me. I still get treated like a newcomer when i visit my parents. I have the same goal as you, to eventually persuade my parents what really happened there. I spent four years there, I will never forget those bastards and what they did for me. Help me if you ever can persuade your mom and tell me how you did it.    peace

« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »

Offline ladyjerrico

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still supporting straight...
« Reply #7 on: March 07, 2002, 08:13:00 PM »
jeff, I was there for 7 months, I know that can't compare to the several hard long years that some people spent here.. but we all have common ground.
My suggestion to you would be (if your mom has a computer) have her get on this site, find some evidence that would allow her to see for herself what this place was all about.
I feel sad that your mom still treats you like a phaser (sigh, I've been out 11 years and I still talk in feelings, sickening isn't it?). Explain to her that all these people who post these types of messages wouldn't go against the program if we didn't experience first hand all the abuse and all the brainwashing we encountered.
If she still doesn't believe you, I would say to her "why did these places close down if they were so good? why were there so many lawsuits filed with child abuse, neglect, physical, mental and emotional abuse?
They (straight) didn't treat us like people. We were slaves trapped in a death camp nearly!
Your memory is heartbreaking to you and some of us will never really totally get over what has happened.
I, myself, am still searching for answers of why these things were so harsh.. I know we did things that wern't normal, but everyone has something bad to remember in their lives, we lived through the most terrible thing we've ever done.. we paid for our mistakes, we will never forget.
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »
usan Minns

Offline ladyjerrico

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still supporting straight...
« Reply #8 on: March 07, 2002, 08:14:00 PM »
uh, sorry, I just realized you posted that message a little over a year ago.. I appologize, but, I did just find this site about 2 days ago.. shrug
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usan Minns

Offline Kathy

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still supporting straight...
« Reply #9 on: March 09, 2002, 07:57:00 AM »
That's ok, we still read all the posts.  That's why all the topics remain open and rise to the top of the list when someone makes a new post.  Post away to whatever topic you'd like, I always like reading a new post-er's point of view.

Have Fun! :smile:
Kathy
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »
Kathy
"Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle."    ~Plato

Offline ladyjerrico

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still supporting straight...
« Reply #10 on: March 09, 2002, 04:55:00 PM »
Thanks Kathy, just taking a pre-emptive strike against anyone who says "why are you replying to that when it's been on this site over a year".. just coving my tracks.

Thanks for the feedback though :smile:
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usan Minns

Offline Anonymous

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still supporting straight...
« Reply #11 on: March 13, 2003, 09:49:00 PM »
STRAIGHT WAS A LIE.

ST.PETE 1985


"SYNANON"
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »