Treatment Abuse, Behavior Modification, Thought Reform > Mission Mountain School

Sex and MMS

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Anonymous:

--- Quote from: ""BarnardlyB"" ---
Please explain what I did to you that bad?!, mean or abusive?

--- End quote ---


http://wwf.avigation.net/viewtopic.php? ... c&start=15

Anonymous:
not against me and i am very glad that you are nice now and i believe you.  but the fact that betsy u know. you know:exclaim::exclaim::exclaim: John was a jerk:exclaim:  just because hes better that your paretns or family doesnt make it right.  we deserved better :exclaim:  you deserved better  :exclaim:  

we were NOT treated by someone who KNEW what he was doing :exclaim:  its fraud:exclaim:  and i get it though you learned to be in touch with your body and excersize but we didnt go there for that.  that was a side note.  they used these things and pretneded it was therapy and like John knew what he was doing.

we were exploited.  mistreated. treated with fake therapy by fake therapist.  moved by mostly fear and guilt not learning or understanding.  they used out bodies to benefit the school- not us.  (chores is one thing but we did much more than that)

Anonymous:
Sometimes when people have zero idea of who they are coupled with zero self esteem the only way they can feel anything consistant with the way they feel about themselves is to have someone treat them like shit.

Does it strike anyone as odd that John Mercer was sexually abused as a child and went on to work with children and take out some anger on them? Do you think that maybe his aggression towards us had something to do with him not getting help as a child, so, he is going to try and take it out on us because we were getting help? I mean, if you look at it, everyone in his favorite group was taken through his form of therapy to bring up memories and all ended up being molested by family members(some really were). Do you think that he was trying to deal with his own issues through us, and take out his anger ON us.

I remember thinking about this at the school. An angry, un-treated sexual abuse victim, in charge of a large group of teen age girls, who was unusually controlling and displayed large amounts of consistant need for emotional strain on the girls? The intense sexual histories, lack of social contact, need to talk about sexually explicit things, need to exert a show of dominion and control over the teenage girls ( victim/helpless, victimizer/in control). Sound familiar?

Sounds sick to me. What is even more sickening is the bill they passed in MT to 'regulate' the schools. Guess what? The committee is run by the heads of the  schools. What a joke. Who is going to protect the girls.

IF the girls were sent there mentally ill, abused, or neglected who the hell says it is within the scope of ethical standards to abuse them further just to crack them. People build a wall to protect themselves, if you break the wall down and fail to build it up you just have an exposed and really screwed up person. It takes YEARS to get over that, years.

I still have nightmares. I still worry. I constantly am talking in circles just to make sure I am saying the right thing at the right time, I have a problem with performance anxiety and social skills. Minus the social skills, I didnt have problems with the other things. I never worried that everyone in a group was going to bombard me with a scathing review of my daily actions and make me over analyze everything to the point of being mad. I never did that before... but I learned to not only aquire that skill but master the art of hiding the anxiety of having to over analyze everything.

The school sucked for me. Period.

BarnardlyB:
"Does it strike anyone as odd that John Mercer was sexually abused as a child "
Personally once again, I had no idea about this....really? Sooo, my own personal opinion having been through a sexual trama, wouldn't the last thing anyone who was sexually abused want to talk about is sex and other peoples experience? Im not denying that he was becuase I don't know if he was or wasn't. Its not adding up for me why he would want to talk about it....or have others talk about it.

"Sometimes when people have zero idea of who they are coupled with zero self esteem the only way they can feel anything consistant with the way they feel about themselves is to have someone treat them like shit."

Im gonna pretend that wasn't towards me, once again, don't pretend to know me or have any idea how I feel or think. I've had my life together for quite sometime now and I have know my purpose and have known what I want to do with the rest of my life for the past 6-7 years.....Last time I checked thats since highschool. Not many people can say that.

"I still have nightmares. I still worry. I constantly am talking in circles just to make sure I am saying the right thing at the right time, I have a problem with performance anxiety and social skills. Minus the social skills, I didnt have problems with the other things. I never worried that everyone in a group was going to bombard me with a scathing review of my daily actions and make me over analyze everything to the point of being mad. I never did that before... but I learned to not only aquire that skill but master the art of hiding the anxiety of having to over analyze everything."

I'm curious and would have to guess that you weren't a scapegoat at mms. There are many many girls and some who I keep in contact with, who don't have nightmares, who don't have the symptoms that you talk about. All that says to me is that mms is for some, not everyone. I do find it interested that all the girls during the 94-96 period who were not scapegoats and were the 'leaders' of the group, had the hardest time after mms, ie;relapse, trouble socially, even more family conflict, cut off contact with girls they promised to be friends with forever.
 Yet those of us who were the scapegoats and dubbed to 'fall flat on our face' have done darn well for ourselves and have continued to have contact with girls, have had no relapse, make friends easily, and don't have any of the syptoms you talk about guest.
Im not trying to discredit you feelings and I feel badly for what you have gone through, and are still going through. I just find it curious.

Im not the only girl out there with these feelings, im just bold enough, as I always have been and always will be, to actually say something. Most girls don't want to have much to do with this forum beucase they don't feel anyone will listen and they will just be attacked as I have been many times.

BarnardlyB:

--- Quote from: ""Pls help"" ---you mention that you were self centred before MMS. i am guessing you were what about 14 when you went? That seems to me an age when most people are.

What puzzles me when I read your posts is that you seem to have an idea that you needed bad things to happen to you to make you a better person. How do you not know that you deserved good things? That the adults in your life could not have taught you these values in a healthy way? That there was no need to make you feel that sex is frightening and bad or that without hard labor you would not develop a work ethic?
--- End quote ---


Actually I had just turned 13 two months before, so I was young.
I do understand what your saying and I thank you for you concern and compassion, yet I honestly don't think that the adults in my life would have been able to show me anything. I have had to cut off contact with my parents many times simply to have some quite time for myself. Sure there could have been other ways to learn a work ethic yet im not sure where that would have happened or how.
and no sex isn't bad, but I had the tools to know how to deal iwht my rape thanks to my experience at mms.

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