Are you new to the board??

[Tampa survivor]

I wanted to post this as a call out to any person who has recently searched up straight and found themselves thinking of things they tried to forget and have stumbled upon again.  Lost faces in pain.  Holidays missed.  Friends who dissapeared.  Families who stained your psyche, as well as those who you will never forget for thier goodness.  
We went through a hell few understand.  
Go back into the old posts, back a few months before we overly-politicized the site. We understand.
I couldn't stay away from my computer when I found this site.  If I found it for the first time today, I wouldn't be ready for the militancy present, and go elsewhere.  I know that I helped to push the board in this direction, but just as in Lord of the Flies, the original intent has been lost.  
To All Newcommers: WELCOME.  Share a memory.  Ask if we remember.
Bill Hadley
St Pete & Atlanta
12/80-12/82

[2dogs]

Thats what I'm talkin' bout'. Right-on brother. I wish there were a hundred more just like you... well I expect there is , but it may take more of the same courage in speaking up against  (or in spite of) the unyielding anger that is making it not worth reaching out and trying to grow from the sickness that has consumed far too much of us already.    

   

    I don't care if people get all fired up and wanna kill something . I sure did. What bothers me is the total astonishment and horrified responses of acusations some of ya all throw out when people go on with life. Someone recently said that someone (maybe me?) is just as guilty as Straight because they didn't want to go save all the poor kids in bad rehabs.  Harsh tactics , ignorant fucking Nazi. If I am as guilty as Straight , Then you must be Intelligent.  The first problem with this whole movment is the recruiting tactics suck. Badgering never works. The second and most overlooked problem is that there is what? 300,000,000 people in this country and no one cares what happened to you 15 years ago , not even alot of the folks who were also there. Do what you gotta do and I'm all for it but quit acting all supprized when someone disagrees with you because I will say it again (and again if necessary). Just because you were in Straight , it does not obligate you to do anything at all. If you choose to do something that can help great , but stop trying to guilt trip everyone else into YOUR deal. There is NOTHING wrong with obstaing.



 I met many a great friend in Straight. I know kids who risked getting started over or worse to cover for me and I for them. I would love to celebrate those friendships in this time of my life rather than fight. But I would not hinder the fight. It's too bad that those who don't require the fight don't fill the board with celebration. I guess it is our own fault...Joey    

[ This Message was edited by: 2dogs on 2003-01-15 10:42 ]

[Anonymous]

Someone recently said that someone (maybe me?) is just as guilty as Straight because they didn't want to go save all the poor kids in bad rehabs. Harsh tactics

That sucks to say that. I agree. Fxxk that bullshit. On the other hand, I also agree that there's nothing wrong with fighting the "good fight"...

It's too bad that those who don't require the fight don't fill the board with celebration.

Yes, it's too bad...and what about those that DO require the fight...they should celebrate once in a while too, and try to look at the bright side...none of us would know each other if we hadn't been in the hellholes.

[Froderik]

D'oh! That last post was me (not logged in.) To add a little - It ain't cool to be a jerk and try to badger people into the "fight." That's straight-like behavior...Better to give them a feasible, worthwhile course of action to take part in, and let them participate if they want to.

[Tampa survivor]

Thanks guys...
You are so right about stopping the fighting.  I was not ready to attend the reunion last year, as it was all too new.
Now I wonder if my opportunity to meet some of you shall be hijacked by the " burn 'em at the stake" crowd.  I certainly hope this shit can settle down quickly, or less people than ever will attend.
Bill

[METALGOD8]

OK, so some people dont want to take any action. Thats fine and dandy. For now, I would have to say that there's a few more interested folks out there than not. At least in the circles I stay in go. Maybe if I were to branch out into more cities and states and take over the media, then will someone listen and care all at the same time? Get people's attention. The Lord helps those who help themselves. If joe blow dont wanna get involved too much, then that is what joe blow will get from it. If he gets involved, then he still does what he wants to be doing. No need to force the issue. As most of the older posters here go, I have been involved. I have little time, but a big heart, so naturally I want to poke people if they dont at first respond. That aint from straight, thats simple survival skills. Well, whatever, I don't mean to offend my fellow survivors, but the situation is one that requires a committment of sorts. I am still tryin to figure out what that is for me, but meanwhile, I am promoting the MOVEMENT! You all stay over there, I will be over here should you change your mind or whatever. I thought they taught us how to manage guilt trips.



MG8  :smokin:  

[ This Message was edited by: metalgod8 on 2003-01-16 00:23 ]

[hedwigfan]

When I found this site, I was in shock for a few days. Seeing all the names and reading about things that happened was what I needed to wake my memory up. The best thing has been reuniting with my old friend, Cecile (Majik). I lost interest when everything became so political and militant. We've all suffered, and we deal with our grief in different ways. There are those of us who want to "fight the good fight" and those of us who simply wish to go on with our lives. I suppose there's no right or wrong. I think this site could really be helpful to new people if there was more discussion about group (like it was when I first came here). Thanks, Bill, for your post.

[2dogs]

"Now I wonder if my opportunity to meet some of you shall be hijacked by the " burn 'em at the stake" crowd."

 I bet if we tryed to have a real reunion with no politics & militants THEY would be outside picketing us.

[Tricstrmom]

After the conference in FL last year,I came away with the sense that the most difficult hurdle for this amazing group of people would be the focus of the energy.  There are people, both survivors and those close to them for whom this issue is so painful, just simply living with it is nearly overpowering.  It is a day to day thing.  It is hard to talk about it at all without finding one's voice involuntarily raising an octive and several decibels.  If a person in this much pain is forced to deal with the issue of enlightening the rest of the populace to the ongoing plight of children who they know will someday be overpowered by thier own life on the outside, this can only be a disservice to the individual still working to make sense of thier experience as well as a disservice to those who might still be saved from the whole ordeal.  
Let those whose voices still crack upon the telling of the story manage in thier own way and allow them to find support wherever and however they may. Managing a peaceful life with a past so frightening is an amazing accomplishement that should never be understated. Let those who offer themselves up in battle carry the candle.  
Battling this beast is enough to wrench the hearts  of the most seasoned warriors.  As one who battled a dragon by whose claw I never suffered, there were days I screamed, cried, and became utterly hysterical within the quiet of my home. But in not having those scars, I was always able to carry the message of those who bore the pain without every raising my voice.  Therein lies the difference but it is not one of right or wrong.  Wrong is only when a person is further victimized by thier horrendous experience.  All of us have the power to end that right here; it doesn't even require a fight.

[ This Message was edited by: Tricstrmom on 2003-01-16 21:43 ]

[Majiktrvls]

I cannot agree with Kris and Bill more. The best thing that happened to me with this site was reestablishing a relationship with Kris. WE were good friends in the hellhole, and I am thankful that we are friends again!  ::kiss::
Before I stumbled in here, I had not muttered a word about Straight in 18 years. I had not had any desire to speak of the place, nor to associate with anyone from that time period of my life. I thought that I had put it all behind me, moved on, so to speak. Reading all of the posts on here was overwhelming to me. It brought to the surface areas that had not been addressed and needed to be healed. I am grateful to have found this place. It helped me to close old wounds and it reinforced my position to stand fast in my views of forgiving those who were so very wrong in their actions towards all of us.  I do not live my life based on what happened at Straight 19 years ago. (Just as I would not live my life based on a failed marriage when I was 20.) It is not necessary for me to harbor such a negative outlook about my current life. Doing so is not conducive to my positive mental well being. Linking back up with Kris, who meant a lot to me during my time in "prison" has been a heartwarming experience.  It seems to me that my brother, James emailed me about Kris being here. I am grateful to him for having done so.  I have spent many hours on the phone with Kris rehashing the "experience" and working thru the "guilties". We also spend many phone calls and e-mails living in the TODAY. It is a warm feeling to know that we survived and are able to go about our daily lives in relative peace.

[Tampa survivor]

Hey, I know it got intense for a while...but I miss James sharp left wing point of view and incredible memory of all things program.  

Does anybody remember Trey Freidman, from Cincinatti?  He was a newcommer with me in my first 2 months in the program, but they went north to Cinci...
Again, I am still also trying to find Ann Crows sons, Jay and Travis.  Everyone knows where Ann is, but can anyone tip me off to where her sons went with life?  They were VERY important to me at one time.
Bill
St Pete & Atlanta
12/80-12/82