Treatment Abuse, Behavior Modification, Thought Reform > Hyde Schools
Where to really go to get help (for parents and children ali
Anonymous:
--- Quote ---On 2006-06-19 11:17:00, fletch699 wrote:
"Thank you for sharing with me. I appreciate the response! I'm glad that Hyde was able to be there for you when you needed it.
I never said that Hyde was a cult. What I did say is that it can be cult-ish. There's a huge difference. I'm also not saying that Hyde has to be perfect. Nothing ever is. And, as I've said elsewhere, Hyde did provide me with some life lessons that were immensely valuable.
My chief complaint with Hyde, however, is that it has a one-size-fits-all (OSFA) program. The trouble with that is that one-size NEVER fits all when it comes to attitudes, emotions, psychological and/or physical issues. Which means that unless you fit the mold used to make the OneSize Program (OSP), the OSP is only going to frustrate you to some degree.
Think of it as a OSFA baseball hat, but without the elastic built into the band. You and I both know that everybody's head is, at least, slightly different in size, shape or other features from anyone elses. As a result, there will be a set of the population that will be able to wear the OSFA hat with an amount of comfort. In terms of Hyde, I think that their OSP is for attitudinally-challenged students.
But the rest of the population wearing the OSFA hat is going to find out that it's too small, too big, too tall, too short, not stretchy enough, has a tag that scratches the head in some way, is the wrong color, has a baseball-brim and not a panama-hat brim, etcetera. The list could go on forever. Even if you limited it just to people looking for baseball hats, you're still dealing with a whole host of variables that don't fit into the OSFA product.
And again, the Hyde version of this is that they attempt to offer solutions for children with a laundry list of possible problems. Substance abuse, physical abuse, learning disabilities, psychological problems, physical limitations, etcetera. A person with one of those problems isn't going to enjoy the OSP as much - nor do I think they can benefit from the OSP, either - as would the person from/for whom the OSP was designed.
Imagine for a moment that a child with an undiagnosed learning disability is enrolled at Hyde. Imagine that their problem is dyslexia, where they see written words/numbers in a reversed or jumbled order. As a result, they have difficulty reading/writing, have trouble understanding and completing homework assignments, etc. In the Hyde format, they're going to receive the same treatment that *I* did - which was based on my laziness and lack of desire to perform. I was forced to apply myself, I was forced to address my laziness and generally poor attitude. I was helped to understand that I had the ability to control my behavior.
Is that the right way to treat that learning disabled child? Personally, I don't think so - and I don't think that the majority of other people would think so either. A dyslexic person does not have the ability to self-correct. They need specialized training to help them learn how to read, write and work in an environment that isn't exactly friendly to people with this difficulty.
If Hyde wants to accept these students, then, I think it should be done with the understanding that they're going to find REAL solutions for these individuals. Which means external counseling, extensive testing (to ferret out the problems that have gone undiagnosed), lots of understanding... and the abandonment of the OSP. For a learning disabled child, this also means an adjustment of the model to deal with the fact that the child isn't able to perform because of something not entirely within their control. For an ADHD child, as another example, kicking their chair to get their attention is not going to be proper treatment. They need specialized teaching, as well as medication in certain instances.
My continued fear, however, based on my own experiences as well as affirmation by people on this board as well as others, is that Hyde is unwilling or unable to abandon or modify their OSP to a degree that allows for proper treatment of the types of children that they're trying to help.
My prior post
--- Quote ---I said that Hyde isn't the place to get help. We all realize that - some more than others. This board's existance is proof enough that Hyde doesn't work the way it needs to.
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is based on this fact. Until Hyde adapts their program model for the differences inherent in the different types of problems presented by their students, it almost doesn't matter that Hyde has good intentions. The result is that children are not getting the help that they need... and instead are getting "help" that can actually lead to more damage.
Hyde isn't an inherently bad place. Joe Gauld isn't a bad person. Their collective "heart" is in the right place. But there needs to be the realization that OSFA doesn't ever fit all.[ This Message was edited by: fletch699 on 2006-06-19 11:22 ]"
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Fletch, you are wonderful. I say this because you are a breath of fresh air to this board. You make a statement and you follow it up with what you feel that way. You are neither vicious or looking to hurt anyone. It is obvious you are trying to help and I admire this.
You are absolutely right about getting the proper information out there so parents can look in the right places for information in order to make smart decisions for their children. I think someone needs to make another board where we can post helpful hints for those who are at Hyde and those considering Hyde. The phrase, "you are part of the problem or you are part of the solution." You obviously want to be part of the solution and I agree with this. We have bitched about Hyde, now let's try to help some people avoid the potential problems at Hyde. Those who strictly need character adjustments might want to consider Hyde, but those with deeper issues including medical and emotional need the resources to try and find a more suitable place.
Do you have the ability to start a blog for Hyde? I am not computer literate and do not know how to do this. I think a blog could be very useful.
Thank you again Fletch for all your wisdom and sincerity.
fletch699:
Thanks for the kind words. I hope that what I type is somehow useful to someone.
I could start a blog, but I'm not sure that I have enough to warrant anyone listening to me. The truth is that I'm just one person with one (limited) experience with Hyde. Sure, I suppose I could expand it to my other private-school memories/thoughts/feelings, but again, there's only so much to my knowledge.
I think that keeping the information here is pretty valuable. A parent doing research is going to find the information on this site to be quite informative and enlightening. In the end, the decision on whether to send a child to Hyde (or any other board school for that matter) is based on the unique facts of their own particular situation.
If people, however, have specific questions for me, you can always find me at my username at yahoo dot com. I'm happy to provide responses to any serious inquiries.
Anonymous:
--- Quote ---Is that the right way to treat that learning disabled child? Personally, I don't think so - and I don't think that the majority of other people would think so either. A dyslexic person does not have the ability to self-correct. They need specialized training to help them learn how to read, write and work in an environment that isn't exactly friendly to people with this difficulty.
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I am dyslexic. I went to hyde I recieved no special consideration for my reading problems. I learned to adapt. I went on to great academic success. BTW I have many OSFA ball caps w/ the adjustable clip. I love them the only fit to size ball cap I have I do not like. So there you have it.
Anonymous:
--- Quote ---On 2006-06-20 05:32:00, Anonymous wrote:
"
--- Quote ---
Is that the right way to treat that learning disabled child? Personally, I don't think so - and I don't think that the majority of other people would think so either. A dyslexic person does not have the ability to self-correct. They need specialized training to help them learn how to read, write and work in an environment that isn't exactly friendly to people with this difficulty.
--- End quote ---
I am dyslexic. I went to hyde I recieved no special consideration for my reading problems. I learned to adapt. I went on to great academic success. BTW I have many OSFA ball caps w/ the adjustable clip. I love them the only fit to size ball cap I have I do not like. So there you have it."
--- End quote ---
You went on to great academic success? What about your character?
It is obvious you are saying that a child with ADD, ADHD or dyslexia can benefit from Hyde. You are doing everyone coming to this board a disservice by saying this, and this is exactly what the problem at Hyde is. Hyde is NOT equip to help students with learning disabilities! Hyde needs to stop taking people's money just to raise the student population. Hyde School should only accept those who they can help. Stop accepting almost all applicants! As Fletch said they then end up hurting both the ones they can't help as well as the ones they can. If you really want to become the best you can listen to what people are saying, Hyde!!!!
fletch699:
--- Quote --- I have many OSFA ball caps w/ the adjustable clip. I love them the only fit to size ball cap I have I do not like.
--- End quote ---
I think you misunderstood what I was saying. When I was talking about a OSFA baseball hat, I wasn't talking about an adjustable hat (the ones with the plastic nibs on the back that allow for all head sizes). I'm talking about the hats that are made in ONE size only - fitted, so to speak... but are sized for the "average" head.
But that's neither here nor there. My point isn't that someone with a learning disability is bound to fail at Hyde. My point is that someone with a learning disability isn't necessarily going to get the help they need, in a timely and complete manner, from Hyde - merely because Hyde isn't looking for learning disabilities or any other problems of that nature. Hyde is only looking to fix "character defects."
That's not a problem in and of itself, obviously. But it becomes a problem if/when you claim that EVERY problem is a character defect. To use another analogy that might be more appropriate, Hyde has but one tool... a hammer (fixing character defects). The tendency, therefore, is to treat everything they encounter as a nail (a character defect) when, in fact, they might be dealing with a screw.
Does that make more sense?
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