Treatment Abuse, Behavior Modification, Thought Reform > World Wide Association of Specialty Programs and Schools (WWASPS)

guilty feelings

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MightyAardvark:
My advice, You don't have anything to make up "Karmically". The techniques used on you were more or less the same (differing only in minor points) to those used on PWOs held in China. Given that even fully grown alert and highly skilled and competent men were unable to resist the effects of this kind of cognitive restructuring I think it's totally unreasonable to expect a child to do it. The lingering guilt is just another mechanism of control.
You wanna get even, or you want to make it up? There are people on these boards working very hard to shut down WWASPS, why don't you see howyou can help?

Anonymous:
I completely understand what you are trying to say. I do want to offer my opinion, and that is the fact not every kid that was there, graduated or made it to upper levels was a complete asshole. Personally, I do not believe just because you were at a WWASPS camp, that gives you a free ride morally. Staff have tried to pull this for a while, so why should other kids get away with it? Yes they use high pressure brainwashing techniques, but at the end of the day you still have the final say about how you are going to treat somebody else. I never treated anyone horribly while there, and sometimes it even cost me points or even more, in order to save my dignity and self respect.
I believe the kids who went overboard and embraced the role as upper levels really have that inside them deep down and it was just allowed to show. I don't think WWASPS turns you into a bad person, as much as they allow you to BE a bad person. Again, this is just my opinion. In my experience the upper levels who were assholes, were just assholes. Maybe it was the program? I don't know, but not everybody was an asshole. Even if it meant doing a little more work.
I feel bad for every kid that ever was sent there, but in reality every kid sent there is not a nice person, there were some mean, spoiled brat kids who LOVED the role given to them. I hope you were not one of them...

Anonymous:
I don't think that being a programme kids excuses anyone from behaving horribly, but I do think that nobody should be made carry around that kind of guilt forever.
The fact is if you are a kid stuck somewhere horrible & all you ever hear is that "the programme" saved your life & this is coupled with the fact that it is what your whole family beleive and, it is not so easy to make the "moral" choice. I am sorry for the other poster who also suffered because of these places but I want you to move on.

Anonymous:
Thanks everyone so much for the advice and responses. I have contacted most of the people I feel I did a real wrong to and they have all been really understanding and forgiving, mostly becasue Im not that way anymore. I see what one of the above posters was saying about how if you are a bad person anyway, the ability to control others in an environment just exemplifies that, but that was not the case for me. I really feel for all the CCM mumbo jumbo, I believed in my heart that I was doing the right thing by forcing my views on others, I was doing the right thing by putting my friends through processes, and yes, people did the same thing to me. Actually, my group was known for doing mini seminar processes in group, where others would dress up in clothes our parents would send our therapist and put on music our parents sent our therapist and basically act out a persons worst memories of being home. Like if they were raped, we would act that out in group to remind them, or if they were a "druggie" we would act out thier life at home and how "horrible" they were to their parents and what not. They usually ended up with the person dying. I remember the point in the program where I lost who I was and turned into a totally different person was during my process. My friends dressed up as me and my old friends and basically acted out my life and told me that my friends at home hated me and I was going to die if I didnt stop using drugs (granted I was there for pot and alcohol). It was really horrible and I threw up and cried ALOT it was worse than any process in any seminar, except maybe the one in accountability that was pointless and all people were doing was screamingat each other and making fun of each other. Anyway, I really did change at the program. Im not who I was then, which is why I totally belive in brainwashing. Its like the whole time I was in the program and a coupel years after, I was someone else. ITs really thanks to fornits that I snapped out of that, and thanks to ginger and I am forever greatful for it. But to the poster I was talking about before, I agree that some people may be genuinly mean and pissy when they are sent to programs, but the seminars and group "therapy" there are brainwashing and do turn perfectly kind and non judgemental people into assholes. It happend to me.

Anonymous:
You have made the amends that you could. Now, you can move forward and let go of the "guilt."
You should be very proud of yourself, for being able to go through this process. Good for you. Now, forgive yourself; and know that you are a good, worthy, person. Good luck.

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