That's interesting.
Along that same vein... Kids who have spent time in TBSs have a hard time getting into private schools. Pretty negative stigma attached, apparently.
16 year old daughter ready to transition back into mainstream
kgmeyers
Junior Member
Member # 5079
posted May 22, 2006 02:02 PM
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But where will she go to school? She has been in a very small all girl's emotional growth program in Montana for the past 16 months. On the director's recommendation, 5 months ago my husband and I started researching and interviewing traditional all girls boarding schools for her to transition into. We narrowed our search down to 4 schools that fit the bill. The only problem is that, apparently, our daughter didn't fit their bill. All have come back with rejection letters stating that they don't have the resources to provide the support she'll need coming out of her program. NOw we're faced with a daughter who has grown tremendously, who's ready to take on new challenges, but who really doesn't need to return to the scene of the crime - i.e. anywhere near her old buddies. Moving is not an option at this point. While there are a few prep schools that take kids with less than desirable backgrounds, we feel like she is passed all of that and doesn't need to be surrounded by less positive peers. I guess I'm just looking for other options at this point. MOst of the chat is about kids going on to college. My girl still has 2 years of high school to get through. Any advice?
Responses:
***We just went through this with our 15 year old son. I actually went back to our educational consultant and sought her advice (she does regular boarding as well as EG & TBS placements).
If you have a consultant, you might inquire about appropriate schools. He/she may even be able to smoothe the application process for you.
***Our Educational Consultant had good suggestions and "ins" with a lot of traditional boarding schools. She knew which ones would take kids out of EG programs and which ones would not.
***Dear goldenguru, do you think that most private schools are reticent to take kids who have graduated from a TBS program? We are moving to another state and our son, who will hopefully graduate from his tbs in December, will start his new private school in January. I don't know if it is wise to mention he went to a TBS - probably better is just to say he went to a regular boarding school. What do you think? CB
***Many private schools are reluctant to take kids from a TBS. Many will check into the school-no matter what you call it- and figure out what kind of school it is. You usually need teacher evaluations from the prior school and a counselor's report, too. It is pretty hard to hide the TBS-thing. There ARE schools who will take kids from a TBS if there has been clear progress. It there was a real substance abuse issue, it is much harder. This is where the EC can pull some strings.
***It was our experience however, that most were in fact reluctant. One principle stated "to call when your daughter has been doing well for a period of time upon returning home". In other words, call us at a later date if she has not had any other problems. It was a little disheartening to say the least.
I understand that these private schools (particularly parochial schools) have a reputation to uphold. I understand that they do not want to be "dumping grounds" for kids with serious social/academic/emotional issues. It is hard enough schooling kids without lots of baggage. [Aren't they supposed to be 'fixed' when they come out of a program? Do these private schools know more than the parents?]
So in answer to your question ... You have to decide what works for your family in terms of disclosure. We chose to be honest.... because we couldn't predict our daughters success upon coming home.
***Interestingly, last year when my daughter came home from the RTC and was ready to start 11th grade, the EC strongly recommended that she not go to boarding school. Our EC felt that there was too much freedom at "normal" boarding schools with too many problem kids. [A year, two years, and they have no more faith in the program than that?] The current school my daughter attends is fairly structured and supervised but not at all therapeutic. There are some nice kids and some problem kids. Drugs are surely available.
***Fortunately for him, the school district agreed. He was placed in a very small private distance learning school that had small classrooms. So he did go to school every day but for only 3 hours and with only 16 students.
