My son was at ASR when base camp existed (he hated it) and he really changed a lot in Costa Rica (he apparently loved it.) He has written many essays (in others schools--he was only 15 when he left ASR) and I can think of no reason he would "lie" subsequently. He loved CR. I can certainly agree that giving the party line back could be a serious problem if groups were as coercive as described but that my son was still writing about CR in college admission essays seems uncoerced to me.
My son kept all his written work--even the self study which I guess was a severe punishment, although he did not describe it as such at the time. However, reading it (with him) years later, he explained his thought processes and it seems that he gained from putting his thoughts into writing. If he had to sit that would have been fine with him--standing at a meeting would not have been. However, the content of the self-study really seems to be the point and it is self-evidently valuable to him and to me, sharing it later.
I agree te education was mediocre but since my son did not like school anyway, I don't think there was a lot lost in 14 months. He did better in school upon returning home, so I think his increased motivation for living allowed him to catch up whatever was poorly taught (or not taught) at ASR. His SAT scores were fine but maybe they would have been anyway with or without ASR.
Currently my son is 19 and a student in NYC. He is in contact with several members of his peer group and most are doing OK--the exceptions seem to be those with heavy drug problems when they entered. That was not a problem for my son but I wondered when he was there if those students who were clearly addicted to drugs were well served in the program at ASR.
I think program match is important. I did not use an educational consultant. I wanted a program that was structured but not strict b-mod, had no sports teams and had an "artsy" student population where violence was not tolerated. The day before our first family resolution, a member of the peer group was kicked out for hitting someone. Although I was sorry for that boy, I was very glad my son was in a program where that would happen; if my son had felt bullied, he never would have opened his mouth.
While he was there, my son filed a complaint in writing against the PE teacher because he thought he was too much like a drill sergeant. This complaint was treated seriously and the PE teacher left. My son was depressed and rather shy (but very compassionate) so it is hard for me to reconcile what I am reading with him filing a complaint. If he had felt unsafe, he would not have done that.
Finally, I thought the consulting psychiatrist's approach to medication was cautious (which is good) and far better than we had experienced in the community--where meds are thrown around too freely IMO. Like another parent, my son had a say in his meds--mainly trying to find one that would lift the depression with the fewest side effects.
In short, I know no program is above criticism but getting away from the public school bullies (and then finishing h.s. at a private day school) gave my son the break he needed to get some perspective that adulthood could work for him if he could survive childhood.
As far as the person who said parents were not supposed to come to the weekends?? Every parent of the kids in the peer group was there including divorced parents who were not otherwise speaking. One child's parent could not go the CR and she appeared unhappy about that. Every other family had one or both parents in CR.
I was directed to this site by someone who is very confused about what to do for her son--she has exhausted local options and she fears the looming drug exposure in high school (with justification I think.) She knows me and my son well. She knows that I didn't just want to get rid of him for a while--and she can see how he has changed from a highly problematic young teen into a functional young adult. I am interested in whether ASR positively contributed to that change--or as someone stated, he "just grew up." Some of each is possible--but I fear that at home with the bullies, the huge high school, and the potential for serious drug use, and suicidality, he would not have survived to grow up.
Just a Mom
