ASR

[nalex18]

Tsk tsk old bean I am not finished with the questions yet.

1) What levels of education did the staff commonly have?

2) Was their a grievance system?

3) Did you have access to the state child abuse hotline?

1)I think my counselors personally held bachelors degrees. At the time when I was there we had no live-in staff. At night we had "night staff". I think the only qualification for this was a background check.

2) I am not aware of a grievance system in place when I was there. If we were complaining about the school a lot of the staff had the attitude that "Well at least you're not at Three Springs". If you complained to your parents on the phone you had some nice things coming to you in group. It was kind of a "tough shit" type thing. My parents really hate talking about it, but from what has slipped out I guess they sort of got the same response.

3) No we did not. I think if we had asked they would have laughed.

They were trying to start an after-care type thing (at the time it would have cost money) where a counselor would call you every couple weeks or so. I told my parents NO NO NO.  They also signed up to talk to parents who were interested in the program, which angered me to no end. I convinced enough parents enroll their kids  while I was in the program (can you say brownie points?). After I came home  and everything sank in my parents began to understand. They now, especially my mom, want nothing to do with ASR.
I think my parents and I have lost a lot of faith in the mental health industry, as we had a terrible and extremely traumatizing time when I was put into a psychiatric hospital and then with ASR.

[Anonymous]

Nalex,
           As for the follow-up support, it is optional. We get separate calls at home. The therapist calls our son on his cell phone and he can choose if or when he wants to answer it (his choice, sometimes he takes the call, other times he doesn't). He knows that he can call them anytime. I can understand  why some who graduate would want nothing more to do with the school.

      For our son, being an inpatient in the rehab facility was the most traumatic thing. He actually speaks fondly of ASR and wilderness. Perhaps it will take time for the whole experience to sink in. Everyone's experience is different.  It is unfortunate that there is very little out there to help teens (and parents) before it gets to the point where the only option left is wc, RTC or TBS. Losing your son or daughter for a year is painful for parents as well. The decision is after all else fails. Our son was not abused and felt cared for and safe at ASR. He is back home, catching up and credits ASR for helping him overcome or deal with his issues.

What is important is that there are some decent programs out there . None of them are perfect, but many are trying to improve.

Nalex, thanks for your insight. You have been able to provide a first-hand perspective. I hope all is going well for you. Unfortunatey, not knowing what would have happened if you  hadn't gone to a program, whether you would have been better or worse is something the whole industry needs to look at.

[nalex18]

Nalex,
           As for the follow-up support, it is optional. We get separate calls at home. The therapist calls our son on his cell phone and he can choose if or when he wants to answer it (his choice, sometimes he takes the call, other times he doesn't). He knows that he can call them anytime. I can understand  why some who graduate would want nothing more to do with the school.

      For our son, being an inpatient in the rehab facility was the most traumatic thing. He actually speaks fondly of ASR and wilderness. Perhaps it will take time for the whole experience to sink in. Everyone's experience is different.  It is unfortunate that there is very little out there to help teens (and parents) before it gets to the point where the only option left is wc, RTC or TBS. Losing your son or daughter for a year is painful for parents as well. The decision is after all else fails. Our son was not abused and felt cared for and safe at ASR. He is back home, catching up and credits ASR for helping him overcome or deal with his issues.

What is important is that there are some decent programs out there . None of them are perfect, but many are trying to improve.

Nalex, thanks for your insight. You have been able to provide a first-hand perspective. I hope all is going well for you. Unfortunatey, not knowing what would have happened if you  hadn't gone to a program, whether you would have been better or worse is something the whole industry needs to look at.

I'm glad that ASR was able to help your son. It looks as if they have made some important changes. I can say that I am a different person than I was prior to ASR. I learned not to act out, even if the learning came in some uncomfortable ways. ASR had its merits for sure. I really am happy that they were able to fix some things and that your son is doing better. Perhaps things would have been different if the program was the way it was now when I went.

 Best wishes to you and your family

[Anonymous]

my friend is currently at ASR and i miss him and very worried for him! tell me as much as you know please

[Anonymous]

I call well-organized, deliberately-planned troll on this whole thread.

Lots of crying, yelling, etc. Some of the things that went on in group I believe was wrong.

You would receive a folder with a "truth list" and writing assignments to do things like "Why I feel I don't have to talk in group".

All mail was opened, read and searched.If a counselor thought something was innapropriate you did't get the mail.

That last one is actually illegal.

I think everyone to some extent lied to get out of the program. Some people went through the program having done drugs, had sex, etc but would never admit to it and were never caught. You learned to be compliant and really just to say whatever they wanted you to.

Pretty sick shit, right?

But then he says:

I can say that I am a different person than I was prior to ASR. I learned not to act out, even if the learning came in some uncomfortable ways.

That's either Stockholm to the max or some serious fucking bullshit.

Nalex, if you are for real, you ought to tell this miserable "guest parent" to go eat shit and set about reclaiming who you were.

The fact that you haven't makes you a defeated little pussy and you ought to be ashamed of yourself.

[nalex18]

I call well-organized, deliberately-planned troll on this whole thread.

Lots of crying, yelling, etc. Some of the things that went on in group I believe was wrong.

You would receive a folder with a "truth list" and writing assignments to do things like "Why I feel I don't have to talk in group".

All mail was opened, read and searched.If a counselor thought something was innapropriate you did't get the mail.

That last one is actually illegal.

I think everyone to some extent lied to get out of the program. Some people went through the program

having done drugs, had sex, etc but would never admit to it and were never caught. You learned to be compliant and really just to say whatever they wanted you to.

Pretty sick shit, right?

But then he says:

I can say that I am a different person than I was prior to ASR. I learned not to act out, even if the learning came in some uncomfortable ways.

That's either Stockholm to the max or some serious fucking bullshit.

Nalex, if you are for real, you ought to tell this miserable "guest parent" to go eat shit and set about reclaiming who you were.

The fact that you haven't makes you a defeated little pussy and you ought to be ashamed of yourself.

 I'm not a troll, whatever that means. ASR was not the best place in the world but I feel like an asshole when kids are really suffering at other places, and also because I had been in worse situations.. I go back and forth over it, and everyone else I know who went there with does the same. If the parent feels that changes have been made and her child has been helped I cannot state otherwise seeing that I have not been there in years.

[nalex18]

2) I am not aware of a grievance system in place when I was there. If we were complaining about the school a lot of the staff had the attitude that "Well at least you're not at Three Springs". If you complained to your parents on the phone you had some nice things coming to you in group. It was kind of a "tough shit" type thing. My parents really hate talking about it, but from what has slipped out I guess they sort of got the same response.

3) No we did not. I think if we had asked they would have laughed.

These here scare me more than anything.

Are you really saying that if you complained you would have gotten something "nice" in group?

1) Please define this nice, and how did the group find out about it as I thought phone calls were private?

2) In a hypothetical situation had you called the state abuse hotline and they responded what might have happened?




I am finding this ASR to be a very disturbing place. I probably wouldn't even send my dog there for obediance training.


*** I love it your parents and counselors actually said, "Well you aren't at Three Springs!"

That is the typical mentality of all facilities. At Three Springs we used say at least you aren't at HLA. So I am to hear the thoughts are, "Suck up the abusive crap hear because it is only worse elsewhere."

So slightly abusive, or quasi abusive is ok versus Tranquility Bay Abusive? We have the luxury of making such distinctions now?


Nalex do you mind if I cut and past your answers to another thread for future reference?

No I don't mind, as long as I see where it's going.


By "nice" I mean part of the group would be focused on you. And there were call logs taken by the staff there about how your conversation went . If we complained about the school our counselors would most likely start playing the whole "you're manipulating your parents to get out of here", or pull the whole other "you could be at [insert hellhole here]. Somehow, it always came back to you and your issues.

Hypothetically... I really have no idea. We would probably be put on bans with the whole school so we wouldn't be able to spread the "negativity".

* and my parents didn't make the comment about 3S, sorry if my crappy grammar made it look like that.

[nalex18]

One thing to remember Nalex is the parent is speaking for the child. Would you honestly have gone home and spoken out against ASR the first day back? Spoken out against the very place your parents praised from the hilltops for "saving" their wayward child?

Another thought for you... Was it ASR that helped you grow up, or was it you that did that on your own?


A more likely scenario is the boy went home, blessed his lucky stars that he isn't there anymore, and decided to play the good house boy and keep his mouth shut. It is very common that you see this with new graduates of programs all over the place. They graduate believing in the program and its merits, a few years go by and when they are out of their parents house they tend to start doing their own thinking.

They come to the conclusions that it is safe for them to voice their opinions about the treatment the recieved at the hands of their respective facilities.

Yes I can see ASR making some superficial changes. Perhaps they got rid of Costa Rica and hired a food service. The fundamentally corrupt issues with the facility no doubt still exist. They still have peer groups, and peers in those groups lie their asses off to get out.


Still I am curious about the whole you will get something in group item you mentioned.

What is that all about?

And by the way you shouldn't feel bad about the abuse that was worse elsewhere. You should be enraged by the abuse that happened to you.

Remember... the one calorie only of abuse is still abuse and it is still very wrong.

Thank you for having the courage to speak to us here.

 The question of "was it ASR or me" is one that I ask myself a lot. I was sent there pretty young and had some growing up to do. I really don't know if it was ASR. I think the one thing that it did was made me be really thankful for my life at home.

It's hard for me to talk about ASR because I am still confused, which is why I don't blame that other person for his comment.

[nalex18]

No I don't mind, as long as I see where it's going.

In a sticky in my facilities forum where I plan to start catalogueing these question and answer sessions from graduates as they occur.

 If it's useful for you then yes.

PS. dude is a lady

[nalex18]

You hawt?

Haha I believe that's an opinion

[nalex18]

:lol:

So would you have spoken out about what happened to you when you first graduated from ASR?

Why speak now? From what I am gathering your opinion is less than flattering.

 Well actually, a while back in the big ASR thread that turned out into an all out war, I posted a few times.

I was so confused when I came out I really can't tell you. There were times that I would get really angry about it and others when the "ASR brain wash effect" came out.

 I became interested again because I've recently come across people who I went to ASR with. (only one of whom seems to be doing ok)

[nalex18]

I am glad you feel free to speak out now. Again thank you for that courage.

Now next question...


1) Did they ever take a student that represented a serious danger to themselves and others around them?

2) Was your mail screened?

 They did take kids who had a history of violence. I don't remember anyone getting violent with anyone else... although there was a kid who chased a base camp staff member around with a knife...

There were more kids who were dangers to themselves. I honestly think ASR is very lucky in that no one has succeeded in committing suicide. I can tell you first hand that for someone with major depression ASR could drive you past breaking point easily. It seemed like they pick and chose who they took seriously about being suicidal. I was not taken seriously, and had my roommate not been in the room one day, I may well have taken my life. I do not say that to evoke pity or anything else like that, and I was not using it to "manipulate" ( a favorite ASR term)

2) Yes, I think I answered that previously

[nalex18]

1) Attempts at suicide were viewed as manipulation?

2) What would happen after an attempted suicide was discovered?

1) Usually, yes.And they told you that very matter-of-factly.
 The same goes for self-mutilation. I understand that SI can be used as manipulation but it does not excuse them brushing it off. They told me that I was using cutting as manipulation...

1)seeing that I had hid it from them for months even though i was body searched several times.
2) and only came forward when my roommate saw when I got out of the shower

    I don't think it was. At all. I can honestly say that when I was younger pre-ASR there were times when I did use hurting myself to hurt other people, but I grew out of this pretty quickly and what I did at ASR had nothing to do with getting back at anyone.

2) In one case she was taken to the hospital for stitches and then brought back. I was her escort the next morning when she had to go back into the dorm. I'm pretty sure she was placed on a self-study. (the most severe consequence)

In another a counselor told us about a time he walked in on someone about to hang themselves with a belt. He said [something to the effect of] that he didn't place the kid on a self study because it was obvious he was hurting enough.

[nalex18]

1) What is self-study?

2) Describe this Escorting more please?

3) Why was a student doing the escorting of a self-harming/suicidal resident and not a staff member?

A self study was the worst of the three major consequences. (reflection, challenge, self study).  You had work projects, all free time was spent at your table, facing the wall. Lots of writing assignments. Loss of all privileges. Standing during all meetings. You most likely had strict bans

Basically I had to take her back to the dorm and be with her while she gathered up her things and changed, etc. I don't remember if she showered or not. I was basically there to make sure she didn't attempt again.

I don't know why they had me do it. I was "trusted" at that point, and honestly... probably a better choice than some of the staff.

[MightyAardvark]

delete