Update from "former" program mom

[Badpuppy]

"Studies of efficacy only cloud the real issue, which is individual rights." Individual rights are one issue but exposing sham and biased research is also important.  Hopefully strong evidence that the parents are wasting their money translates into fewer commitments. Exposing sham research is also helpful for independent  professionals in the field because it effects their child care strategies. One of the reasons for doing good outcome research with control groups is to expose the fallacies of the claims of the hurt child industry.

[TheWho]

On 2006-04-30 16:29:00, Badpuppy wrote:

""Studies of efficacy only cloud the real issue, which is individual rights." Individual rights are one issue but exposing sham and biased research is also important.  Hopefully strong evidence that the parents are wasting their money translates into fewer commitments. Exposing sham research is also helpful for independent  professionals in the field because it effects their child care strategies. One of the reasons for doing good outcome research with control groups is to expose the fallacies of the claims of the hurt child industry."

With good studies this would all come out and be placed on the table.  If parents saw this as a waste of money or children were being hurt by the industry it would be huge.  It would force the places to change or close down from lack of enrollment.  The better school models would expand and do well.  This would cause a shift in the industry, which is probably needed based on some of the programs still in operation.

[Anonymous]

[

I believe it should be the parent who is removed from the home, forcibly taken against their will to a secret hidden-away facility where they will get the proper training they need to be a good parent. WWASPS for parents, have you not heard of them? The kid pays them thousands of dollars to keep their parent locked up, until they show that they can be a good parent. They are forced to take brainwashing sessions, and if they don't comply, they are punished severely. Behavior modification works, but not for kids, only parents. "
[/quote]

 :nworthy:  :nworthy:  :nworthy:  :nworthy:  :nworthy:  :nworthy:  :nworthy:  :nworthy:  :nworthy:

[Anonymous]

[br>

Instead of, after two months coming home, she then went to another tremendous TBS, that SHE says, was so helpful to her to help her get out of her confusion.



Well, yes I know it is hard to believe but some of these TBS actually are much better then what some kids experience in their own homes from their own families.  The abuse etc. is actually a step up for some kids. :scared:

[Lacey]

On 2006-04-29 20:26:00, Nihilanthic wrote:

"Right. Like my first reply to the troll...



Stupid emotional nonsense to try to justify their actions and get attention.



Why are we 10 pages into this trollbait? :roll: "

I don't understand you guys. I'm sure this post will be ripped apart just like all of the previous ones of people who don't entirely agree with you. And I'm sure its not going to be as articulate as some of the posts you all have made. But oh well.

I'm not sure what the exact meaning of a troll is on this site, but from what I gather from other topics I've posted on, its someone from a treatment center coming here to pose as a student or parent or something, just to defend it, or just cuase trouble.

I am sure though, that the meaning does NOT include a long winded, (yes sometimes emotionally confused), treament parent. I'm Mcr84kar86's daughter (and you can check that in the HLA topic, where I post regularly.) The school whose name she didn't want to divulge is HLA (they can't do anything to me, and I'm not worried about it) and there's a good reason she didnt want to divulge the name. We were already threatened by this place's laywers almost 2 years ago because of my posting on this site right after I graduated.

I dont understand. You hold this site as an open forum to express all ideas and hold intellecual (sp?) conversations about the circumstances of treatment... Yet when one person (who yes, trust me, i KNOW is long winded and sometimes not very focused in her arguments, lol I live with her) comes in here, sharing a little bit of a different view, this post reverted to an elementary school playground where all you all could think to do was metaphorically pull her hair and push her around. So congratulations on that, for one.

My mother is not pro-programs. She acknowledges the two programs that DID in fact have a positive influence on my life, New Haven and Walkabout. She is also (like I am) is supportive of whatever programs like HLA have coming to them. And we both hope that it is equivilant to the suffering that every student and parent endured, for whatever length of their stay or connection with the school may have been.

I'm not sure what the point of this is, I know my mother can handle her own battles... I just felt the need to post my frustration with this board for the ignorance and immaturity displayed.

I hope to see more tolerance for people with different perspectives and experiences. This blantent attack on my mother for her shortcomings seems very familiar to the tactics of one certain treatment center. First you debase them as a person, and establish their perspectives to be inaccurate and altogether imbicilic. Then you all have free reign to just simply ignore whatever points she may present. Grow up. All of you.

[Anonymous]

::troll::  :rofl:  :roll:

[TheWho]

Hi Lacey, Well said !!Your start ?I'm sure this post will be ripped apart just like all of the previous ones of people who don't entirely agree with you?.? is very typical and I had to laugh.  Obviously you have read few posts here, before posting yourself, but decided to post anyway.  Good for you.
Most of the people you are talking about that jump in and rip people apart are harmless ex-employees who are bitter, kids who are not affiliated or attended a program looking for a place to dump their anger (road rage without a car).  But if you can look beyond them there are many people who are reading/listening and are learning from your experiences and many others who will engage in conversation/debate eventually.
The important thing is to tell your story and don?t be swayed by those who are closed minded and will never understand nor grow from others.  Some are not here to learn.  

Besides all of that it takes guts to stand up for a parent on this forum, it might be a first.

[Troll Control]

Most of the people you are talking about that jump in and rip people apart are harmless ex-employees who are bitter, kids who are not affiliated or attended a program looking for a place to dump their anger (road rage without a car).

This is so untrue.  The worst behavior on this board (that isn't by minors) is undoubtedly the parents who sent their kids to programs.

The smugness and the arrogance with which they discount reason, logic and science in favor of hyperbole, fallacy and faith is simply astounding.

[TheWho]

On 2006-05-01 07:04:00, Anonymous wrote:

"

Most of the people you are talking about that jump in and rip people apart are harmless ex-employees who are bitter, kids who are not affiliated or attended a program looking for a place to dump their anger (road rage without a car).

This is so untrue.  The worst behavior on this board (that isn't by minors) is undoubtedly the parents who sent their kids to programs.



The smugness and the arrogance with which they discount reason, logic and science in favor of hyperbole, fallacy and faith is simply astounding.  "

Well,thats fair, I guess it depends on perspective and the threads you are involved in.  Just to clarify, I am speaking about the people and discussions I have encountered here.

[Anonymous]

If Lacey's Mom had been upfront about what program she was talking about--HLA--and had left out all the nonsense about her ex-husband, thriving business, boyfriend, Godliness, and the other BS, people may have taken her postings a bit more seriously. People here have a bit of a problem with parents who place their kid in program AFTER program AFTER program; and who THEN come on here YAKKING like they know everything. I still have a problem with the multiple placements of this girl.

[Lacey]

On 2006-05-01 07:04:00, Anonymous wrote:

"

Most of the people you are talking about that jump in and rip people apart are harmless ex-employees who are bitter, kids who are not affiliated or attended a program looking for a place to dump their anger (road rage without a car).

This is so untrue.  The worst behavior on this board (that isn't by minors) is undoubtedly the parents who sent their kids to programs.



The smugness and the arrogance with which they discount reason, logic and science in favor of hyperbole, fallacy and faith is simply astounding.  "

Your assumption about my age "(That isnt by a minor)" is incorrect. I am actually soon to be a parent myself, and am definitely not a minor. The "smugness and arrogance" in which you assumed my age and level of maturity is also astounding.

[Anonymous]

The thread where everyone talks to themselves.  :lol:

[Lacey]

On 2006-05-01 07:26:00, Anonymous wrote:

"If Lacey's Mom had been upfront about what program she was talking about--HLA--and had left out all the nonsense about her ex-husband, thriving business, boyfriend, Godliness, and the other BS, people may have taken her postings a bit more seriously. People here have a bit of a problem with parents who place their kid in program AFTER program AFTER program; and who THEN come on here YAKKING like they know everything. I still have a problem with the multiple placements of this girl."

"This girl" will be happy to explain the situation. The reason for the rant about my father by my mother IS the explination for my "Multiple Placements." The manipulation of the treatment centers I was sent to PALES in comparison to the manipulation my wonderful, oh so caring father is capable of. I was originally only supposed ot be sent to  the 2 month wilderness, and then the 9-month RTC. However, during my time at RTC, my father started a whole new custody battle to contend custody of me in court, solely for financial reasons. And if he had gotten custody, I can assure you that the person sitting here typing would be a FAR different, and much more disturbed person.  If I had come home directly after RTC, I would have been thrust into the dealings of my father's manipulative, greedy court case, which was one of the biggest reasons, throughout my childhood, that I got so screwed up (in one form or another). And Hidden Lake had assured my parents that I could be temporarily placed there for a few months until the court litigations were resolved, and the home I went back to was a much less tumultuous (sp?) place. I think anyone can agree that a return back home after treatment should be to a stable and supportive environment. Unfortunately, my parents found out too late HLA's penalties for pulling a student, and I was forced to serve my whole stay there.

So before everyone jumps to a position of autority on my life in treatment and the causes in which parts were or were not acceptable, maybe you should take a moment to get off your high horse and acknowledge that maybe you DO NOT have all the information regarding every childs circumstances. So it seems, the only person "YAKKING like they know everything" is you.[ This Message was edited by: Lacey on 2006-05-01 08:01 ]

[TheWho]

On 2006-05-01 07:26:00, Anonymous wrote:

"If Lacey's Mom had been upfront about what program she was talking about--HLA--and had left out all the nonsense about her ex-husband, thriving business, boyfriend, Godliness, and the other BS, people may have taken her postings a bit more seriously. People here have a bit of a problem with parents who place their kid in program AFTER program AFTER program; and who THEN come on here YAKKING like they know everything. I still have a problem with the multiple placements of this girl."

I did not see where there were any requirements in posting here, mandatory disclosure, only one program per child and no talking about your personal life.  Where does it say this?

Each person speaks and tells their story a little differently, some are uncomfortable disclosing certain pieces of info.  One should be more patient and respectful, why judge people or assume motives?



[ This Message was edited by: TheWho on 2006-05-01 08:08 ]

[Anonymous]

Unfortunately, my parents found out too late HLA's penalties for pulling a student, and I was forced to serve my whole stay there.

What kind of penalties, jail time or something? If I knew my kid was in a bad environment I'd take them out even if it meant I still had to pay. They paid anyways right, why leave you there?