hmmm - I don't call him that as he is the father of my children and all children want to love their parents, no matter how "challenged" they are (and he is very challenged).
Disrespect of a parent is to disrespect the child also. I don't want my children (even though they are 21 and 19) to feel that way about themselves.
I am proud of the love that my children have for their father (maybe not so much my daughter right now, as he "used" her terriblly, to trick her into hurting me, but we all need to be cautious of "free" rides and she learned a very harsh lesson in life).
So,
http://www.walkabout.com is the first place we had experience with for two months. Doc Rick was just tremendous and the whole staff(even though the experience was traumatic and I had nightmares every night about where I had sent my daughter and all the random free-floating anxiety that it took constant logic flow to stem the tide of) was incredible in their support both of my daughter and our family interaction.
You could drop my daughter down most anywhere on this planet out in a wilderness situation and my bet would be on her as a leader, guide, positive influence on not just "surviving", but thoroughly enjoying the experience of being at one with nature (they did grow up hiking, camping, playing in the mountains, etc., but now she's the leader, not me :grin: )
The next place was New Haven for 9 motnhs and where people are getting this "locked down" business, I don't know.
The hospitals/treatment places in our metropolitan area had those, but my whole reason for "sending my child away" was to get away from that.
Maybe some kids can endure that, but my kid is extremely independant and free and had always been that way from birth. She was the epidome of "I do it", much to my chargrin (I couldn't even pick her clothes - we called her miss independant).
New Haven was month to month and I thought it would just be a month or two, but she decided to pull her dad into the "power trip" with me and get him to get custody.
That is what really aggravated the whole mess.
Things just got more and more complicated, but at any time she could have "walked".
Any of you who know the place, kids "run away" all the time, but she loved working with the stallion they had there.
My kid was very horse savy and the therapuetic trainer worked with her on "communicating with this horse to not force her will on him, but to get him to want to "play" with her and please her.
She was very impressed and began to see her "will" and her "power" in a whole new light.
All of the "places" we worked with had compulsorary parent involvement. The theory was that it was no use treating the child if they went home and all the crap just kept on going.
We should have 'graduated" there, but the litigation stuff was now in full swing. There were legal teams swirling around, ed cons, judges and all these people who had no idea even who my daughter was or what was going on, they were going to "HELP".
I will not name the last place as it is not in our best interest right now to have any litigious involvement over and above the mess I am trying to rid myself of leftover from all that time.
My daughter, this is her place to be comfortable and I don't think it would help her to lay out the family mess.
It's my mess to resolve and make go away so that we can all go on in peace.
I am hopeful parents will work dilegently to pursue what is best for the whole family, but be kind when they make mistakes, I don't think there are any gods in all this mess, we are just humans trying to do the best we can.
But above all, love one another.
I had no money, no health, all my friends abandoned me as they all had opinions about what I should do (tough love, ditch my kid) and I had to turn my back on alot in my life and look to the love of my kid.
My best friend died of cancer during this mess.
my sponser died of parkinson's disease and my Priest att he ripe old age of 90 decided it was time to go "Home".
You know what, life's not fair.
But my priest, Fr. Traecy always said, "there is never a justifiable reason, for doing the wrong thing."
So I tried, despite all the distractions and stuff to pull me away from my responsibilities to just continue to do the "right" thing, no matter how difficult.
I made many trips to Utah(I'm still paying those credit cards), I brought my daughter home as often as I could, I made many trips to the other location (and she NEVER was in a locked down place) it wouldn't have worked with her anyway, she's not the type you can do that with.
She still has her beauty, her spirit (even better) all all her talent and independence, but now she has the decision making ability to stand back, evaluate, and take her time to think things through, rather than just impulsively jump at stuff.
Sorry, I am sooo wordy, came from long line of "words' people.
