Update from "former" program mom

[Nihilanthic]

Truthsearcher -
Thank you for finally coming forward with some facts.

I was having a bad day yesterday, but I do have very little patience for anyone using their apology for fucking up to try to get attention, or make it like they aren't responsible for what they did. It really seemed like you were just doing it to get attention, which has happened many times before. You have to understand, there is an abundance of program parents who simply will never, ever take responbility for anything, and even after they know the gig is up, they still do their same old shit but using the abuse that happened to their kid as a means to do it.

I mean... Sue Scheff... nuff said! :roll:

mcr84kar86 -
From the bottom of my heart... bite me. I cant believe youre coming in here and using how you were too emotional to think straight and using the same old "OMG I HAVE TO DO SOMETHING SO ILL JUST GIVE THEM AWAY TO SOME PEOPLE WHO WILL FIX IT AND BRING IT BACK" routine that we've heard a billion times before. We're sick and tired of hearing it!

WE DO NOT CARE HOW HARD IT WAS FOR YOU TO SEND YOUR KID OFF. STOP BRINGING IT UP. WE DONT CARE AND WONT CARE. ITS NOT ABOUT YOU.

You are right. It IS your responsibiltiy. Its your responsibility to make sure they actually are providing therapy, not harming or abusing your child in any way, and to stay in contact with your child and make sure they have a way out if theyre being abused and a way to reach you without any censorship or restriction on comunication with you, or the law.

Using your own emotional weakness and your own defensiveness to defend yourself and try to nebulously defend "programs" because "not all of them can be bad" is bullshit. Find ones that work, prove they work, and keep in contact with your child and minimize the time spent in it - the current model is to use the 'priviladge' (in their fucked up minds) of communication as something they have to 'earn' back by compliance with their rules, and have extremely long stays. There is no reason whatsoever to have such long stays in programs.

MAINSTREAM therapy doesnt use several-months-to-over-a-year stays for treatment. MAINSTREAM therapy doesnt use skinnerian or behavior modification or LGAT or level system bullshit to fix a problem. Thats only useful for making them conform and breaking them and brainwashing them, not fuxing an actual problem.

If YOU want to make YOURSELF useful, instead of covering your own ass and being a defensive, emotional pussy who doesnt want to feel bad about your own mistakes and doesnt like to see other parents attacked for fucking up and puttin their kids in culty little hellholes, why not accept responsibilty from the bottom up just like all the top-down bullshit that everyone puts upon these children?

They shove accountability and responsibility and confrontation up these kids asses basically every waking moment in their programs, but YOU cant handle any over the internet? Go cry me a fucking river.

Its funny how you say you dont want "the government, the psychiatrists, the lawyers, idiots who have no experience telling me about what is a good place to send my child" but the vast majority of the people doing it are other FAILED PARENTS, turned EdCons, people who dont know shit but think theyre doing the right thing like TSW was, people like Sue Scheff, child haters, or people out to make a buck.

Im not against ALL treatment, Im against culty, isolation, Behavior-Mod based 'treatment'. Thats NOT TREATMENT! THATS ABUSE!

You dont keep people isolated from their own family and the outside world and punish them for not doing as told to treat major psychological disorders, you do that to make them conform and so as told. Thats brainwashing, period.

Actual therapy doesnt keep them cooped up in some BM warehouse, with a level system and 'priviladges' (as seen by some authoritarian asshole) doled out by conformity, it doesnt take anything away and its not punitive. It provdies ACTUAL THERAPY, not LGAT or confrontation based bullshit. It provides ACTUAL SCHOOLING, not forced self-teaching out of a book. It allows for visitation and communication with family, not making everyone wait until the child has shown they wont try to tell the parent about the truth of the program and will only say the approved things.

Your own defensiveness about your own fuckups is understandable, but because youre an adult and more than what you are displaying is expecting of all the kids in these programs, and theyre able to handle it, so should you - especially over the internet. For someone who hasnt actually had to personally be ripped apart for 18 hours at a time, you have no room to talk.

Learn to seperate the culty, BM, level-system based, isolation and punishment based bullshit from REAL therapy, and then we'll talk. And please stop using the boilerplate post-seminar bullshit about alliterating, positive-sounding adjectives, ok? You should know what REAL therapy is, and what program-based brainwashing is, by now. Dont give us 'dont throw the baby out with the bathwater' and other emotional, generalized nonsense.

The only places worth keeping are those that dont abuse, and actually provide real, actual therapy - not level based, carrot-and-stock behavior modification, or LGAT or any other psychological-regression based behavior modification, or any place that isolates children so much and fucks with their mind to make them do as told. Just as we tried to tell Truth Searcher, THAT can hurt many many more times than any amount of physical abuse.

I know someone, but am not at liberty to say who, who ran from her program. Twice. The second time, she wasnt caught and drug back. But guess what? She got her drink spiked and was gang raped. That was apparently so much easier to deal with than the constant mental and emotional abuse and torture in that program she just got cleaned up and went on her way, much to the amazement and shock of her friends. Hell, I once asked her outright if its the psycholgoical stuff or being physically restraint or beaten that hurt more.

Guess what she said? Yep, fucking with their minds.

So, while you seem to wish to just group everything as "programs" and say "not all are bad" and nother emotional and nebulous arguements, mostly in defence of your self, I have specifics Im talking about.

REAL THERAPY, no isolation, no punishment, no level systems, no behavior mod, no LGATs, no teaching out of a book, minimized time stayed in the program, not a set time everyone has to stay, minimized restraints and NO punitive restraints - ONLY to keep them from attacking themselves or others, is what I want. None of that is effective or defensible.

And, of course, residential, in-a-facility-treatment only when absolutely needed... which is probably a fraction of a percent of most children in BM warehouses, if any at all.

[Anonymous]

Go back to bed- you are still having a bad day, month, year, life???

[Nihilanthic]

On 2006-04-28 08:35:00, Anonymous wrote:

"

Fuck you, fuck your mother and fuck your God damm dog, ass wipe!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Nihil- you forgot to sign in.

I think someone got his feelings hurt....."

I log in automatically. I use firefox. This is why I wish people would get their own accounts to post isntead of hiding behind anonymity - you dont know who said it.

And yes, you can be identifyable but still anonymous.[ This Message was edited by: Nihilanthic on 2006-04-28 10:02 ]

[Nihilanthic]

On 2006-04-28 10:00:00, Anonymous wrote:

"Go back to bed- you are still having a bad day, month, year, life???"

Why not address what I have to say instead of more stupid ad-hominem attacks that all sound the same as every other one Ive heard here?

:roll: shoudln't you be saying bullshit like becuase I know too much, Im too critical, or fornits is 'negative', or becuase I have 'issues' (as diagnosed by Dr. Failedparent) it means anything I say, even if its true, is wrong?

[Anonymous]

Your entire post was an ad hominem attack. Why should anyone try to refute your arguments when to do so means wading through all the "fucks" and "bite me's".  When you learn to construct an argument without attacking others and without using profanity, then maybe you will get some attention. Until then, you don't deserve a response.

[Nihilanthic]

On 2006-04-28 10:08:00, Anonymous wrote:

"Your entire post was an ad hominem attack. Why should anyone try to refute your arguments when to do so means wading through all the "fucks" and "bite me's".  When you learn to construct an argument without attacking others and without using profanity, then maybe you will get some attention. Until then, you don't deserve a response."

Funny, you just gave me one  :em:

EVERYONE has a limit to how much they can take. Thats how these programs break down the children within it. Struggling teens calls 'wearing them down until they cant hide whats really going on', but the rest of us know what it is.

But, regardless, Ive had my fill of parents who preached teen accountability but cant take any upon themselves, and want a pity-party for their fuckups and wont take any responsibilty for it themselves.

Im sick of emotional crap, Im sick of logical fallacies, Im sick of them still pulling their munchausen syndrome by proxy shit about HOW thier kid was abused, after they gave up their child for abuse and then did that shit in the parent support BBSes and support groups! Its time for them to grow up at least as much as they expected thier own children to be!

If you fucked up, take your licks and responsibilty, and move on! For all the preaching these parents did, they sure as hell fail at walking their own walk!

[mcr84kar86]

In reading the information made available to you, you have come to the conclusion that the reason I admitted my child was, "for no better reason than you could".

After over a year of informing my child's school of the overwhelming "issues" and struggle my child was having and having them inform me, after several IEP's, I requested and had a academic lawyer (not a ed con)attend, to in fact keep her in her school/local area programs, that as she was a straight "A" honors student, first chair violin, catcher on her fast pitch softball team, they did not recognize there to be any "problems".

Only when another student brought my child to the principal's office with safety pins she had stuck through her thigh, with blood running down her leg, then "Oh My God", the problem was now so serious that, she could not be part of any local treatment program, she would now have to be refferred to the highest level "lock-down", facility with bars on the windows, program in our County with felons, rapists, the criminal element refferred from the judicial community.

The only way to have her in an environment that would be conducive to her personality with the outdoors, horses, freedom of the mountains, ropes courses, girls only, was to get her away from the overbearring govt, local, small-minded programs.

We live in one of the largest metropolitan areas of this country and all of the "students" in the "schools" my child went to in the small towns of Utah and Georgia, were in fact, from these big metropolitan areas with private therapists/psychiatrists that overmedicate, over hospitilize, over diagnosis to keep the big bucks rolling in their pockets.

My child was with a private therapist, private psychiatrists, had teams here locally of the best in the world for her to work with.  She had music/sports/"friends", horses, anything and everything to "help" disuade her from the track she was barrelling down.

As a single parent mom, I used my assetts to be an "at home" mom, to prevent exactly these "issues" in my family, to no avail!

No, there is NOTHING in this area that anyone who could afford private care, would inflict on their child.  

I and my daughter, are eternally grateful for the wild country of Utah that she got to go and volunteer to mark silver mines with these old farts who were her choice of companion (under the watchful eyes of her wilderness program) and roam around under the stars and see that there is a great big world out there other than the puny minded, stupid "professionals" back here that all they care about is "protecting" there professional opinions and making kids so "sick" so they can brilliantly "cure" them!!!

My daughter was diagnosed bipolar, PTSD, clinically depressed, anxiety panic, possible borderline personality disorder, etc., etc., etc.,... They put her on so many medications, it is not funny and all she did was slip further and further down the black dark hole of insanity.

My gut told me they were wrong and that she needed out of the hands of these "brilliant" huge, "state-of-the-art" facilities around here.

I took big risks with her with the wilderness program (not a religious, more American Indian, but what did I care, they allowed her to "feel" some connection to something spiritual), horses she worked with at her treatment place that allowed her to feel some "empathy" and appreciation and affirmation of her "wildness"(even though she almost burned the barn down), had little kittens to "care for" and cuddle with.  I took big risks pushing her back into the "classroom" environment at these "schools" as she wanted to just be privately tutored.

Thank God I did.  

She worked hard to push past her anger, fear, hopelessness and over time, she got that "brightness" back in her life!!

She is on NO medications and has not been for two years.

We are dramatic, emotional, creative people (who are a bit funny too), but she doesn't need the crutch of drugs, alcohol, RX's, therapy, risky behavior, fighting with irrational people.

She is a happy healthy adult, with a great realtionship with her family, her boyfriend, her job, her school.

It is alot of work for the "students"/parents/therapuetic workers that care and the appropriate staffs.  We have been through 6 years of hell since all this started, with the added mess of 22 years of hell with lawsuits from her childish father, who doesn't feel he has to ever grow up and "no one" is going to tell him what to do, but we have all done the work to love and accept each other and it shows in our family.

I insist.  There are circumstances, unfamiliar to you, in which, the outside arena of the therapuetic environment, to sort out the confusion developed in the family/community environment, is needed, to prevent the demise of one of the family members.

There are horrible ed cons who trick, misrepresent and are horribly inappropriate, as in all areas of business on this planet (that is why they say "buyer beware").

It is the small towns and communities, which we have found, are actually, the best arena to provide the environment to help a family sort out it's confusion.

In our local area alone, the list of dead teens who have not survived so far surpasses this list you have posted that it is incredibly sad.  

Not ever to demeen even one child's death or to excuse it.  Any facility that is responsible for harm to childern should be held accountable to the fullest extent of the law, but in our area, drinking deaths, drinking while driving with no seat belt, the stupidity of the college campuses with shooting for a pair of shoes, an ipod, a cell phone, you name it.

You cannot throw out a whole range of viable options that are "good", just because you or someone you love were hurt.  I am sorry for your hurt, but discernment as to which are good and which needs to be closed down is really the harder option and the harder job.

If you do not like the rules of the teen idustry, the beauty of our country is that if you yell loud enough, if you make enough noise, someone will listen to YOU!!

If you know better what to do, please tell us!  We need better options and maybe you are just the person to give us those better options.

WE ARE LISTENING.

[Nihilanthic]

You cannot throw out a whole range of viable options that are "good", just because you or someone you love were hurt. I am sorry for your hurt, but discernment as to which are good and which needs to be closed down is really the harder option and the harder job.

READ VERY CAREFULLY, OK?

"PROGRAMS" That rely on levels, behavior modification, psycholgocial regression, LGATs, confrontational crap, isolate the child, are non consentual, and mandate long stays, are bad, dont provide thereapy, and actually hurt children.

Re-read that, ok? Read it a LOT of times, because you didnt get it the first time.

When "residential treatment" is ABSOLUTELY necessary, it should be used - but only as long as ABSOLUTELY necessary, and then removed from a place that takes away freedom and autonomy. Understand? The MAINSTREAM has said this for a long time, and so does common sense.

You dont 'fuck up' and then get a year long sentance in a lockup. Thats bullshit, and its not therapeutic.

A "Program" that is residential only for the purposes of protecting them form injuring themselves or others, and only as long as it takes to do so, that does NOT abuse, does NOT use behavior modification, levels, LGATs, confrontational or forced ANYTHING, and doesnt isolate them from visits by family and friends, the outside world, you, or legal representation or advocatsy groups, are good, but the thing is...

... theyre not really programs. What makes a program a program is the behavior modification (aka BRAINWASHING) element. Dont group them together, and defend them together! "Programs" that dont provide any damn therapy but just brainwash them have been the problem all along. Actual treatment also doesnt have a set minimum time for incarceration, either. The point is to get out of hte shackles or the locked doors and barred windows ASAP, not stay until you earn the way out.

Do you see what I mean now?

[TheWho]

mcr84kar86,  I think your passion for advocating for your child and tough choices you had to make will be an inspiration to some families who are facing similar challenges.
Thanks for your candor, and balanced view.



[ This Message was edited by: TheWho on 2006-04-28 10:46 ][ This Message was edited by: TheWho on 2006-04-28 10:47 ]

[Anonymous]

Looks like we got 2 program apologists on board.  What's going on?  The Struggling Teens Pity Party getting a bit too crowded?

Baaaaawahahhaaaa!  Yep, that must be it.

Well, have at it. Most of us are used to the drama by now, (YAWN).

 :wink:

[Anonymous]

Mcr84kar86,

We are listening, too.

Can you provide the name of the TBS that was helpful to your daughter?
And the name of the TBS that you feel should be closed down?

[mcr84kar86]

Dear "sir", madam"?:

I do not know if you are a former parent? Student?, but you remind me of when my children were very young and their dad chose to not be part of their life, except to terrorize me.

Their response was to become addicted to two movies, "Liar, Liar" and "Hook".  They used to say about their "daddy", the line from "Hook", "he needs a mommy very badly".

I do not know where your pain came from, but I am deeply sorry for your hurt and I think this line applies to you.

I go to Court again Monday (I seperated 09/23/1986, nine months pregnant, with a 2 year old son, to save my children from a horrendouse home where it was inevitable that someone was going to die if I stayed, I left my home, my cars, my income and all my friends, to take responsibility that my children grew up in a home where they were NOT abused-we went to bed every night with long stories from "Jungle Books", "Twinkle Twinkle, Little Star", sung by all together, and our little silly prayers - the door was locked and we were safely on this side and there were only the three of us).

I did NOT put my children through the humiliation of "charging" their father with his behavior, as little children should not have to go to school every day in their community, with the "sins" of their parents hanging over their heads and on their shoulders.

AS you well know, school can be brutal.

I spent from 1985 - 1991, just trying to get divorced.  My divorce case went all the way to the Special Court of Appeals and the kids dad appealed six times.

He had the pleasure of all our assetts, our home and resources to hire the largest Washington D.C. law firm to try to do to me what he was not able to do in our home.

After losing our 14 year old son in 1983 from a drowning accident, all the while while I was "on the road", installing computers systems and proving to mankind "I am woman, hear me roar", I made a pact with the kids father before conception, that I would NOT bring children into this world that I would not stay home and be responsible for their care and well-being, he agreed!

Later during our divorce, he decided that maybe, he didn't agree anymore, but by a fluke in our case, the Court gave me the ability to fullfill my pact to myself.

It has been 21 long years and those "babies" are now 21 and 19.  One is in college working his tail off on his degree and the other, having flirted with the illusion that money/manipulation/the "devil might make up for abandonment, now is "home" with her family, accepting the "hardships" of a working life, and the joy and love that a more simple life has to offer.

You lash out so harshly at me.

My daughter in the throes of her transition into adolescence desperately needed her distant father's "attention", for better or for worse.

I got to dance the legal dance all over again.  All the damage I had recoved from, I got to do it all over again and am still getting to dance that dance with him, but I AM the parent.

I do NOT blame, I fully accept the responsibility of my own stupidity of being 21 and making bad decisions, by pulling hurtful people into my life, causing hurt to my children.  I accept responsibility for marrying a hurtful person and do not blame my kids for desiring a relationship with their father, it is quite natural, although hurtful to them.

You don't know the home/community/church/support that I had established for my family, that when the "treatment/therapists" told me I had to give up for my daughter's well-being, I left it all behind, again, for her sake.

None of your postings are about, you, your loved ones.  No explanation of your opinions you throw out as facts/advice to the families looking for guidance as to "are they making good choices for their kids that they love"?

I go to Court again Monday.  I go alone.  I don't hire lawyers anymore,  I'm still paying two of the 6 - 10 that were involved in all the manipulations that my children's father did to confuse this kid as to what was "real".

I don't hire therapists.

I don't hire people to give me advice today and I and hopefully all the other parents who have the weight of the world on them today about "am I doing the right thing?, certainly don't listen to an angry, cursing person who is sharing nothing other than the intellectual demonstration of the  pain of his/her life" .

Again, I am sorry for your pain.  You don't know me from Adam.

Tonight, I go to my meeting a pick up my own 17 yr symbol of my own sobriety.

I have had my own struggle with my own demons, but did not let that overshadow my children's needs, wants, desires for a "wonderful life".

My young people practice their own form of spiritual life, they are free, for the most part from the nasty media imposed crap plagued on our youth.

They like music (their own kind)fast, muscle cars (yes both my son AND my daughter) they love good food, cook well and have great respect for themselves and others.

Again, before you keep throwing out your anger, whatever you want to call what you are doing, think of the wandering parent, confused as all get-up, some alone and being told by friends, family, recovery, "just kick them out", "lock them out of the house", "let them go to jail, so they can see what it is like", "tough love", let the school take care of them", and then try to step back and really feel, do you really WANT to be just throwing alot of platitudes at them??

Are you qualified to step into my situation 6 years back with lawyers/judges/psychiatrists/school counselors/DHHS/recovery personnel/the insurance company advisor/hospital administators/educational consultants/educational lawyers?? and are you qualified to step into that swirl, all the while I am under a microscope and being ivestigated by everyone as to "of course, I the single-parent mom, solely responsible for this child, had to be at fault".

Are you truly qualified to sit on this forum and give advice?  as to the viability of this or that program?  I think NOT.

I do not mean to hurt you in any way, but I think, in this business that is ONLY about hurt and confusion, you could contribute some "information", support, encouragement, something positive to those who are looking for answers.

I have been through alot and I WOULD NOT GIVE ADVICE.  I would not be so arrogant to "assume" that I could know enough in a short period of time to tell a parent with the balance of their child's life in their hands, what they should do.

I certainly wouldn't criticize them for circumstances I might not ever be able to understand and further contribute to the pain they must already be experiencing.

Are there bad parents, of course.  Are there uncaring, negligent parents, who just ship their kids off wihtout thinking, they have been doing that since the beginning of time, that is where boarding school came from, but I wouldn't even happily send my kids off to camp (even though I did let them go to lacrosse and softball camp), but I didn't "like it", but it was very good for them to fly gliders/do dressage, play music.

again - are you a former parent or student?

regardless, God Bless you and keep you and may you see the color of the flowers today and feel the warmth of the sun on your face- that is God Blessing YOU and smiling on you!!!! :wave:

[Anonymous]

On 2006-04-28 11:51:00, mcr84kar86 wrote:

"Dear "sir", madam"?:



I do not know if you are a former parent? Student?, but you remind me of when my children were very young and their dad chose to not be part of their life, except to terrorize me.



Their response was to become addicted to two movies, "Liar, Liar" and "Hook".  They used to say about their "daddy", the line from "Hook", "he needs a mommy very badly".



I do not know where your pain came from, but I am deeply sorry for your hurt and I think this line applies to you.



I go to Court again Monday (I seperated 09/23/1986, nine months pregnant, with a 2 year old son, to save my children from a horrendouse home where it was inevitable that someone was going to die if I stayed, I left my home, my cars, my income and all my friends, to take responsibility that my children grew up in a home where they were NOT abused-we went to bed every night with long stories from "Jungle Books", "Twinkle Twinkle, Little Star", sung by all together, and our little silly prayers - the door was locked and we were safely on this side and there were only the three of us).



I did NOT put my children through the humiliation of "charging" their father with his behavior, as little children should not have to go to school every day in their community, with the "sins" of their parents hanging over their heads and on their shoulders.



AS you well know, school can be brutal.



I spent from 1985 - 1991, just trying to get divorced.  My divorce case went all the way to the Special Court of Appeals and the kids dad appealed six times.



He had the pleasure of all our assetts, our home and resources to hire the largest Washington D.C. law firm to try to do to me what he was not able to do in our home.



After losing our 14 year old son in 1983 from a drowning accident, all the while while I was "on the road", installing computers systems and proving to mankind "I am woman, hear me roar", I made a pact with the kids father before conception, that I would NOT bring children into this world that I would not stay home and be responsible for their care and well-being, he agreed!



Later during our divorce, he decided that maybe, he didn't agree anymore, but by a fluke in our case, the Court gave me the ability to fullfill my pact to myself.



It has been 21 long years and those "babies" are now 21 and 19.  One is in college working his tail off on his degree and the other, having flirted with the illusion that money/manipulation/the "devil might make up for abandonment, now is "home" with her family, accepting the "hardships" of a working life, and the joy and love that a more simple life has to offer.



You lash out so harshly at me.



My daughter in the throes of her transition into adolescence desperately needed her distant father's "attention", for better or for worse.



I got to dance the legal dance all over again.  All the damage I had recoved from, I got to do it all over again and am still getting to dance that dance with him, but I AM the parent.



I do NOT blame, I fully accept the responsibility of my own stupidity of being 21 and making bad decisions, by pulling hurtful people into my life, causing hurt to my children.  I accept responsibility for marrying a hurtful person and do not blame my kids for desiring a relationship with their father, it is quite natural, although hurtful to them.



You don't know the home/community/church/support that I had established for my family, that when the "treatment/therapists" told me I had to give up for my daughter's well-being, I left it all behind, again, for her sake.



None of your postings are about, you, your loved ones.  No explanation of your opinions you throw out as facts/advice to the families looking for guidance as to "are they making good choices for their kids that they love"?



I go to Court again Monday.  I go alone.  I don't hire lawyers anymore,  I'm still paying two of the 6 - 10 that were involved in all the manipulations that my children's father did to confuse this kid as to what was "real".



I don't hire therapists.



I don't hire people to give me advice today and I and hopefully all the other parents who have the weight of the world on them today about "am I doing the right thing?, certainly don't listen to an angry, cursing person who is sharing nothing other than the intellectual demonstration of the  pain of his/her life" .



Again, I am sorry for your pain.  You don't know me from Adam.



Tonight, I go to my meeting a pick up my own 17 yr symbol of my own sobriety.



I have had my own struggle with my own demons, but did not let that overshadow my children's needs, wants, desires for a "wonderful life".



My young people practice their own form of spiritual life, they are free, for the most part from the nasty media imposed crap plagued on our youth.



They like music (their own kind)fast, muscle cars (yes both my son AND my daughter) they love good food, cook well and have great respect for themselves and others.



Again, before you keep throwing out your anger, whatever you want to call what you are doing, think of the wandering parent, confused as all get-up, some alone and being told by friends, family, recovery, "just kick them out", "lock them out of the house", "let them go to jail, so they can see what it is like", "tough love", let the school take care of them", and then try to step back and really feel, do you really WANT to be just throwing alot of platitudes at them??



Are you qualified to step into my situation 6 years back with lawyers/judges/psychiatrists/school counselors/DHHS/recovery personnel/the insurance company advisor/hospital administators/educational consultants/educational lawyers?? and are you qualified to step into that swirl, all the while I am under a microscope and being ivestigated by everyone as to "of course, I the single-parent mom, solely responsible for this child, had to be at fault".



Are you truly qualified to sit on this forum and give advice?  as to the viability of this or that program?  I think NOT.



I do not mean to hurt you in any way, but I think, in this business that is ONLY about hurt and confusion, you could contribute some "information", support, encouragement, something positive to those who are looking for answers.



I have been through alot and I WOULD NOT GIVE ADVICE.  I would not be so arrogant to "assume" that I could know enough in a short period of time to tell a parent with the balance of their child's life in their hands, what they should do.



I certainly wouldn't criticize them for circumstances I might not ever be able to understand and further contribute to the pain they must already be experiencing.



Are there bad parents, of course.  Are there uncaring, negligent parents, who just ship their kids off wihtout thinking, they have been doing that since the beginning of time, that is where boarding school came from, but I wouldn't even happily send my kids off to camp (even though I did let them go to lacrosse and softball camp), but I didn't "like it", but it was very good for them to fly gliders/do dressage, play music.



again - are you a former parent or student?



regardless, God Bless you and keep you and may you see the color of the flowers today and feel the warmth of the sun on your face- that is God Blessing YOU and smiling on you!!!! :rofl:

[TheWho]

MCR84KAR86, I wish I could articulate as well as you did with my own experiences.  You really did keep your focus on the kids throughout all of that and made the best choices you could given the time and circumstances??.There are many people looking for a single "latin phrase" or "medical condition" (as we speak)  in an attempt to label /discredit you, but your story stands on is own merit/words for others to read.  You have brought balance to fornits, which will make it a more credible site, in my opinion.

Thanks

[Anonymous]

On 2006-04-28 13:33:00, TheWho wrote:

"MCR84KAR86, I wish I could articulate as well as you did with my own experiences.  You really did keep your focus on the kids throughout all of that and made the best choices you could given the time and circumstances??.There are many people looking for a single "latin phrase" or "medical condition" (as we speak)  in an attempt to label /discredit you, but your story stands on is own merit/words for others to read.  You have brought balance to fornits, which will make it a more credible site, in my opinion.



Thanks

"

Balance?  You have GOT to be kidding?  What's unbalanced is the pro-program websites and parents like the ones posting here who think they deserve some kind of award for raising their kid in a lock down facility or "therapeutic" community.

 :flame: