Treatment Abuse, Behavior Modification, Thought Reform > World Wide Association of Specialty Programs and Schools (WWASPS)
Level System
CCM girl 1989:
Come on DJ!!!! You're letting this guy get off the hook way too easily. You're telling me if he personally talks to the judge, and begs him for another chance, and has his plan put together on what he is going to do as a parent, to turn this kid around, the judge wouldn't give him another chance?!!
What state do these people live in?
CCM girl 1989:
--- Quote ---On 2006-05-03 15:54:00, Paul Smith wrote:
"CCM, *STFU*. This gentleman is acting real enough and there's no sense in treating him like yet another hopeless programmie parent. He obviously gives a damn. Let's focus on saving the kid instead of pissing the dad off, shall we?
I say again: Non-residential treatment. You might want to start here: http://www.colorado.edu/cspv/blueprints ... rview.html
Also, why don't you bring him to this board, WD? Get him to put in writing what the hell is going on."
--- End quote ---
Fine, I will let him speak. But, I am rather tired of parents letting their kids be taken away so easily.
I will try, and play nice. But, I am not going to STFU! So get used to it.
Get it? Got it? Good!!!!
Troll Control:
--- Quote ---On 2006-05-03 15:55:00, CCM girl 1989 wrote:
"Come on DJ!!!! You're letting this guy get off the hook way too easily. You're telling me if he personally talks to the judge, and begs him for another chance, and has his plan put together on what he is going to do as a parent, to turn this kid around, the judge wouldn't give him another chance?!!
What state do these people live in?
"
--- End quote ---
I do whatever it takes to make my point. I don't let anyone off easy. Why do you think I have my own personal troll? Actually, three of them.
I implore, I order, I browbeat, I lecture,I cajole, I shame, I appeal to the sense of decency. I do it all. I just genuinely think that this guy has already started to think long and hard about what an important moment this is in his child's life and will do right by him.
If I didn't think so, I'd kick him in his ass. And I'd ask you to help.
Anonymous:
Dad:
Your child has ODD, that is a true diagnosis. If your child stole once, is doing poorly in school, etc., I'd say that's very characteristic. It sounds like he needs proper treatment.
100%, go with CYA. Your child will see fistfights, etc. but he's already dabbling with that and would also see that at WWASP. He will be offered a valid education, therapy, and courses on making different choices. He will not be forbidden to speak with you or see you, so you'll have a better idea that he's safe. There are not unreasonable expectations to rise in levels and then the littlest offenses drop you forever. It's not a money game like the ones WWASP plays, asking you to pay for activities, toothpaste, etc. as if the $4000 or more tuition couldn't cover it.
No system is perfect. Your son made some choices and has to live with the consequences. I am in my 20s and can now laugh at my teenage follies. Even though it seems like the end of the world right now, hang in there.
Worried Dad:
--- Quote ---On 2006-05-03 15:29:00, Paul Smith wrote:
"
--- Quote ---Part of what the counsellor recommened was a book called, "Back In Control."
--- End quote ---
Which just so happens to be featured on Lon's site.
"Worried Dad", if you are for real and not yet another programmie troll (pardon our suspicion- we get a lot of them here), think: What else can you do with the money? Have you considered non-residential treatment programs? When did all this start? How much have you talked to your son about it? Did you tell him that things have gotten so bad, you're thinking about sending him away?
The other posters were right- a public jail beats a private TBS any day of the week.
"
--- End quote ---
Well it started probably in the fifth grade. He's in high school now. He's been failing every class since then. I had a similar problem with my oldest who turned around when he turned 16. It might just be a maturity thing yes. My oldest wasn't quite a bad as this one though.
His mother and I split up when he was in the sixth grade. We share custody of him. She insisted on full custody, but we comprised on shared custody. I'd prefer to have full custody, but it would cost around $10,000 to get it and would involve a lot of stuff that might not be good for him. You can bash her all you want, I don't care. lol.
Yes I've threatened to send him away before but I wasn't serious. The only reason I've considered it now is because I was concerned about him being exposed to hard-core kids that might hurt him. He's an expert fighter and all but that doesn't always matter. Again based on what I've seen from you guys and other sources, public jail seems better. The ironic part is I'll be charged, from what I'm hearing, $1,000/month for him to stay there. I'm still worried he'll be injured or traumatized in some way while he's there too. I don't see a way around it though. He's had several chances already.
Yes non-residential treatment would be great. It would require him to do it voluntarily though. Even though he's been ordered by the court to see a therapist, it's been a struggle to get him to go. He's not really interested in therapy.
The biggest mistake I made is making the assumption that stealing a $37 tip jar could only be a minor crime. I didn't want to hire a lawyer for my son for what I thought would be petty theft at the most. I advised my son to confess and get it over with. We'll the DA used his confession to secure the Commercial Burglery charge, a felony. Moral, never, ever, confess to a crime no matter how trivial you think it might be.
I don't really expect parenting advice from anyone here. Some people here might even be experts in the field, but I have no way of knowing that. However, It'd be cool if anyone wants to share reputable links to something that would work. That one link that was shared looks okay. My kid isn't really violent though, nor am I. That seems to be to focus of that link too.
I've been dealing with this situation for years. I'm pretty tired of talking about it. Talking about it with him hasn't helped. Talking about it with people, other than therapists, has caused me mainly grief like today. You've heard the old joke, "Opinions are like assholes, everyone has one." Most of you here have been great though, thanks.
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