Treatment Abuse, Behavior Modification, Thought Reform > World Wide Association of Specialty Programs and Schools (WWASPS)
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Worried Dad:
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Was this really called for? The same could be said about you, but people are trying to help you and your son.
Good advice sometimes comes from strange places...
_________________
"Compassion is the basis of morality."
-Arnold Schopenhauer
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Yes well I have been going to therapy over this, thanks.
She seems to be a part of the ignorant crowd that believes that if the children have problems then it's the parents fault all the time.
Part of what the counsellor recommened was a book called, "Back In Control." It's a great book too. It doesn't work in my situation though. I don't know where my son is most of the time. Nor can I find him when I look for him. The only thing I did learn from it was that I need to let my son know that I love him and try to win him over to my side. I haven't had much luck with that yet. I'm not giving up though.[ This Message was edited by: Worried Dad on 2006-05-03 15:23 ]
Nihilanthic:
--- Quote ---On 2006-05-03 14:59:00, Worried Dad wrote:
"
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On 2006-05-03 14:45:00, Dysfunction Junction wrote:
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I'm not going to be responding to you anymore. Go get some therapy you clearly have issues.
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Was this really called for? The same could be said about you, but people are trying to help you and your son.
Good advice sometimes comes from strange places...
"
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I let her bash me as a parent twice before. I'm trying hard. I don't need abuse like that from someone that doesn't know me from Adam. Besides, she does sound like she is dealing with a lot of anger. Perhaps she has good reason for it as well. She doesn't need to direct it at me though.
Your answer was great thanks. I suppose I'll ask my sons lawyer to attempt to delay this hearing until I can get my son tested by someone reputable. The school is going to drag their feet until they don't have to do anything."
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Hate to break it to you, almost as much as I hate to REPEAT this, but in 30+ years of existance (for the industry at large) not one program has proven theyre effective, reduce recidivism, or have any good effects at all! The only thing they can do is isolate your child from the outside world, completely, but then youre trading his freedom to do bad things, to the certainty of bad things being done TO him.
Programs dont work, and "wilderness" doesnt work, period. Theres zero proof, theres zero evidence, just emotional appeals from the apologists and anecdotes that are utterly useless.
Furthermore, based on what they admit, and what we've found out, their model is not therapeutic at all. Its just behavior modification - which only 'works' as far as making them do what you want so they dont have to be punished anymore, and/or a short-term effect from the psychological regression from the programs practices (most notably LGAT seminars of various guises) that wears off as soon as the staffers and oldcomers arent around to bust him down a level, or 'restain' him in pain compliance holds for a few hours.
Theyre culty, anachronistic, and by and large out there to make the parents happy, but not actualy help the kids in any way. The most that might happen is that they simply grow up while in the program, but coallation is not causation - you might as well send kids to programs for having a cold, and let them out when theyre over the cold, and let the program claim responsibility for it.
BTW, have you ever thought about what a program does to a 'good' kid who was put in by a sucker of a parent? Or a 'good' kid who was sent becuase he or she was abused, thinking shed get real treatment, but instead was treated just like everyone else? Theyre stupid cults, no more, no less.
Seperate your own feelings and your own need for relief from worry from what your child needs, and your responsibility to protect him from abuse and ensure actual therapy. Some kids just need to grow up, and a program is one of the worst places to do that. Look at whose sharing facts and details, vs generalized emotional nonsense - and youll see all of this for yourself.
Im sorry theres no easy answer for him, but there are a lot of people who will give YOU the easy answer for a few thousand dollars a month.
That fact alone is where a lot of the hatred comes from - a lot of people are sick of parents abdicating responsibility for their own relief and ignoring the fact that these places dont actually DO anything but warehouse the kid long enough for him to grow up, or reach the age of majority so its not the parents problem anymore.
Im not saying you did, or will do that, but I am saying everyone here doesnt want to see that happen again, but have grown to expect it.
Worried Dad:
Okay, I've said it before though perhaps not strongly enough, I'm not sending my son there. You're answers other than one person here, have been great, thanks.
Troll Control:
--- Quote ---I let her bash me as a parent twice before. I'm trying hard. I don't need abuse like that from someone that doesn't know me from Adam. Besides, she does sound like she is dealing with a lot of anger. Perhaps she has good reason for it as well. She doesn't need to direct it at me though.
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Well, I don't know her personally, but I do know her story from talking on here and, yes, I think there would unresolved feelings surrounding her treatment at the hands of uneducated pseudo-therapuetic organized child abusers. But listen, isn't that why were all here in a sense? Because we're having problems and are looking for that one thing we didn't think of ourselves? Or we're here looking to help others avoid our mistakes? Or both?
In any case, she wants your child to get the best possible care he can get for whatever ails him. Our diagnoses are all the same, if you will, but we all write different 'scripts for it.
I think a lot of us are a little short with parents because of a segment of the parent population that are clearly the causes of and their children's problems and also are equally as clearly an obstacle to a solution for the very problems they've helped to create. I personally have dealt with dozens of them and I (like CCM) can see the BS coming well in advance because we know what it looks like from years of experience and education and when the BS meter starts to oscillate it gets a reaction. I don't think any one of us would disagree with that statement.
Now, that having been said, I feel the intrinsic value of being told the truth and understanding it greatly outweighs the discomfort of having to look at the facts with sober skepticism - so I tell you the straight dope right from the start. Experience tells me to cut to the chase because I know the dance already. I can skip the Pas de Deux.
Anonymous:
--- Quote ---Part of what the counsellor recommened was a book called, "Back In Control."
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Which just so happens to be featured on Lon's site.
"Worried Dad", if you are for real and not yet another programmie troll (pardon our suspicion- we get a lot of them here), think: What else can you do with the money? Have you considered non-residential treatment programs? When did all this start? How much have you talked to your son about it? Did you tell him that things have gotten so bad, you're thinking about sending him away?
The other posters were right- a public jail beats a private TBS any day of the week.
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