On 2006-04-23 18:50:00, flygirl wrote:
"I've been sitting here tonight on my patio, looking out at the woods that surround my house, amazed at all the beauty that seems to come here to north Georgia every spring.
Everthing is really green and lush.. all my gardens are in bloom..and I can't help feeling just a bit overwhelmed by it all.
I've had a few beers tonight, something I don't normally drink, but have been drinking them cause that was my husbands favorite.
This week will mark the third anniversary of his death, so I guess you could say I've spent this weekend reflecting back on the last few years of my life and how much it has changed.
My property backs up to a lake and in the winter time I have a pretty nice view, can even see the people who bring in their boats to the cove behind my house to fish. Of course now....being spring with all the new leaves and everthing filling in, I can only see the lake at sunset, when the evening light reflects across the water.
So I'm sitting here on my patio, drinking my beer, when I hear the familiar sound of a boat pulling into the cove. I can hear the motor being turned off, the voices of two men talking as they seem to be getting ready to put in their lines. Can even hear one of them asking for a beer, the ice being moved around in the cooler..and the sound of their tabs popping as they settle in for an evening of fishing.
I was kind of surprised actually, that I could hear them so well. I even thought for a minute, that they had no idea I was up here on my patio in the trees, listening to their conversation. If it would have been just a few weeks ago, they would have been able to see me, maybe making their conversation a little different.
They were just kind of talking for a while, you know, the easy conversation that goes on between two friends. It was comforting to me in some strange way, that even though I was here alone, I could hear these two friends just passing the time together.
It was quiet for a while and I was thinking about going back into the house and making something to eat when one of the guys started telling his friend how glad he was that he had called him and asked him to go fishing. He told him about how unhappy he'd been at his job and how he didn't want to end up like his father, working his entire life at a job he hated.
He said he had tried to talk to...he said a womans name I couldn't make out, but I assume it was his wife or girlfriend, how he had been feeling and that she just didn't seem to care. He said for the first time in his life, he had actually thought about just leaving...going somewhere else and starting over.
Ok..at this point I couldn't go inside. I was intrigued and also felt a little guilty that I was listening in on what was meant to be a private converstion between these two men..but I wanted to hear what his friend would have to say.
He told him that he too had a pretty tought time not to long ago, that he'd never told anyone about. That he had been so frustrated and unhappy with where he was in his life, that he had also thought about just leaving everthing and everyone behind.
Then he told him all the reasons he was really glad he hadn't done just that. Talked about his wife and kids, and how we all seem to go through something in our lives that truly rocks us...and that coming out on the other side of that kind of experience is what makes us who we are.
I raised my beer to those two men after that and decided it was time to go back inside.
I have no idea why I sat out here for so long tonight, or why they pulled into my cove this evening and had that particular conversation, but somehow I think that was meant to happen. I can only hope that when that man goes home tonight, to whoever it was that didn't seem to care, that she will take him in her arms and tell him how much she loves him, letting him know that he is not alone in his struggle. That was my silent toast.
Flygirl
"
Flygirl,
I just want you to know how touched I was by what you wrote. It made me feel sad too thinking of you drinking your husband's favorite beer, alone on your patio. I can't even imagine what losing my husband would be like, I am so very sorry for your loss. My own husband has been having some problems at his work, for a while now, and your post made me wonder if I have been giving him the support he deserves. I will tell him all of this when we get home tonight.
Thank you.
