I can say that in some ways, I agree with Maggie - there were times when I felt like I was living a 'normal' life and that we were having fun without feeling the pressure to 'be cool' - and that was great. But, on the other hand, there were people who had a certain amount of freedom that I and others didn't share, so there were people who could work on projects and use front-end loaders (I remember that day - I spent hours digging a drainage ditch) and stuff. Usually I got stuck with manual labor-type jobs, or being in a rap, but I didn't really have a choice and that's the problem with it for me. So - I learned how to have some fun without drinking or being cool, which was great - but I did feel that my life was really, really REALLY constricted, especially the longer I was there. I am sure I had my own freedoms, but I was envious of people who worked at better jobs than mine, or who were allowed to have more freedom, or were favored with more attention. Stripe's posts seem to reflect someone early in the program, Seth's and FL's are from the standpoint of long-term guys. For whatever reason, we each havce our own perspectives.
I think part of the problem I had is that I really thought I was supposed to be humble, and that meant the I didn't aspire to much when I was at the Seed. I thought that was being grateful for whatever came my way, and not pushing for recognition or privileges.
As far as dating goes, it simply didn't exist when I was at the Seed. I remember Cindy and John were allowed to date, but he was a staff member so he had contact with the girls that I did not. I rarely ever even had a conversation with anyone but a female staff member. My contact with the opp. sex was limited to saying 'hi' (maybe) or 'nice catch' on the football field. Literally. So, I'm not even sure how FL got far along enough to get married! I wouldn't have had the option, not during my time.
I didn't go to La Dome or the movies (I remember seeing exactly one movie - Alien) and I took one trip to the Keys, which was kind of unsanctioned and never repeated. I remember going out to dinner once in my seven-year stint with a couple of seed friends - the rest were always with family when they made once-a-year visit.
I think I kind of took pride in my austere life style, but it also kind of sucked, too. My life was work, group, home - work, group, home - work, group, home - football/baseball on the weekends, then back to work, group, home. Fishing? I did it three times in seven years. Hiking? Never. Making non-Seed friends? Never. Having a stimulating, open conversation where I disagreed with a staff member or someone with more senior status than me? Never! Taking a class, going to a lecture, museum or concert? Never. Reading a good book? Not approved of. Listening to any music besides jazz, big band and 1950s pop? No.
I have some good memories and some good times were had, but lots of days were just kind of gray for me...kind of lonely, since I wasn't free to be my true self. Whenever I did start to have fun, staff would disallow the activity or move me to another apartment. Really, that's what I remember more than anything, was my lack of freedom. More than any fun I had.