anonymity on this board

[Anonymous]

wow. this thread is reminding me of all of those endless, pointless, Hyde seminars where people just kept going after each other and their attitudes. how many times did I just check out because I couldn't take it anymore? Has anyone else noticed in recent posts how much Hyde lingo creeps in?

"Step up to the plate and tell the truth" is an example from a recent post on this thread.

What is truth, anyway? Such a subjective concept.

It might be fun to try to compile a list of Hyde-isms.
Anyone else want to contribute?

"The apple doesn't fall far from the tree," comes to mind.

[Anonymous]

THE APPLE DOESN'T FALL FAR FROM THE TREE - "Apparently of Eastern origin, it is frequently used to assert the continuity of family characteristics. Quot. 1839 implies return to one's original home. Cf. 16th century Ger. 'der Apfel fellt nicht gerne weit vom Baume,' the apple does not usually fall far from the tree." From "The Concise Oxford Dictionary of Proverbs" by John Simpson and Jennifer Speake (Oxford University Press, Oxford and New York, Third Edition, 1998).

[Lars]

On 2006-04-16 14:38:00, Anonymous wrote:

"wow. this thread is reminding me of all of those endless, pointless, Hyde seminars where people just kept going after each other and their attitudes. how many times did I just check out because I couldn't take it anymore? Has anyone else noticed in recent posts how much Hyde lingo creeps in?



"Step up to the plate and tell the truth" is an example from a recent post on this thread.



What is truth, anyway? Such a subjective concept.



It might be fun to try to compile a list of Hyde-isms.

Anyone else want to contribute?



"The apple doesn't fall far from the tree," comes to mind.

"

As you can see from the previous exchange, attacking one's courage and integrity is par for the course.  If you don't praise the school and its methods, you weren't honest.  According to the dipshit who had the temerity (and the dishonesty) to attack my integrity, I didn't earn my diploma and faked it all because I didn't denounce the school during my senior evaluations.  Actually, at the time, I really tried to buy into what was going on.  You can't fake what I accomplished there.  The passage of years made me understand how much I truly hated it.  But you can't reason with these people, and frankly, it's not worth the effort.  If you don't toe their line you're a liar and a coward.  Fuck 'em, I'm living my life my way...and speaking my mind.  
 ::kma::

[Anonymous]

On 2006-04-16 14:38:00, Anonymous wrote:

"wow. this thread is reminding me of all of those endless, pointless, Hyde seminars where people just kept going after each other and their attitudes. how many times did I just check out because I couldn't take it anymore? Has anyone else noticed in recent posts how much Hyde lingo creeps in?



"Step up to the plate and tell the truth" is an example from a recent post on this thread.



What is truth, anyway? Such a subjective concept.



It might be fun to try to compile a list of Hyde-isms.

Anyone else want to contribute?



"The apple doesn't fall far from the tree," comes to mind.

"

If the shoe fits, wear it. If not throw it away.
When in doubt I will bet on the truth; still in doubt I will bet on more truth.
I will listen and not act defensively.
I will stay out of my ego as much as possible.
I will try not to take coments personally.
Etc., etc., etc.

I've had to sit through those often pointless seminars run by people who often were inept.  Often it fee;s like the blind leading the blind where the only language allowed in the room is the superficial Hyde robot-speak.  Some of these ideas are fine.  In the hands of the typical Hyde staff this stuff is usually like water off a duck's back - no traction or substance.  Often I see parents rolling their eyes at each other as the Hyde groupies go through their paces.  Lots of people just play Hyde's goofy game so that their troubled kids have a place to attend school for the year.

[Anonymous]

On 2006-04-16 18:22:00, Lars wrote:

"

On 2006-04-16 14:38:00, Anonymous wrote:


"wow. this thread is reminding me of all of those endless, pointless, Hyde seminars where people just kept going after each other and their attitudes. how many times did I just check out because I couldn't take it anymore? Has anyone else noticed in recent posts how much Hyde lingo creeps in?





"Step up to the plate and tell the truth" is an example from a recent post on this thread.





What is truth, anyway? Such a subjective concept.





It might be fun to try to compile a list of Hyde-isms.


Anyone else want to contribute?





"The apple doesn't fall far from the tree," comes to mind.


"

As you can see from the previous exchange, attacking one's courage and integrity is par for the course.  If you don't praise the school and its methods, you weren't honest.  According to the dipshit who had the temerity (and the dishonesty) to attack my integrity, I didn't earn my diploma and faked it all because I didn't denounce the school during my senior evaluations.  Actually, at the time, I really tried to buy into what was going on.  You can't fake what I accomplished there.  The passage of years made me understand how much I truly hated it.  But you can't reason with these people, and frankly, it's not worth the effort.  If you don't toe their line you're a liar and a coward.  Fuck 'em, I'm living my life my way...and speaking my mind.  

 ::kma:: "

Yup, say anything that's critical of Hyde and they think you're a dishonest fraud.  Tell Hyde staff what you really think and to them it's merely evidence that you haven't bought into the Hyde BS.  The truth that Hyde refuses to hear is that there are some really smart, perceptive people out here who realize that much of what happens at Hyde is psychobabble par excellence.  The Gaulds and their compatriots are really good at spin and packaging.  They know how to take a few good headlines and turn them into a marketable commodity that desperate parents will buy.  The wise parents quickly find out that Hyde's model is a house of cards.  Hyde seems to hate people like Lars who gave it their best while at Hyde and later begin to "get it" that Hyde is a very bad school.  Hyde can't handle that kind of maturity and wisdom, it's too threatening.

[Anonymous]

On 2006-04-16 14:38:00, Anonymous wrote:

"wow. this thread is reminding me of all of those endless, pointless, Hyde seminars where people just kept going after each other and their attitudes. how many times did I just check out because I couldn't take it anymore? Has anyone else noticed in recent posts how much Hyde lingo creeps in?



"Step up to the plate and tell the truth" is an example from a recent post on this thread.



What is truth, anyway? Such a subjective concept.



It might be fun to try to compile a list of Hyde-isms.

Anyone else want to contribute?



"The apple doesn't fall far from the tree," comes to mind.

"

have you read through the hyde manual or notebook that they give parents?  have you read the homework assignments and exercises they use?  i've seen more sophisticated material in community college courses.  this hyde stuff is so superficial and dumbed down that it's insulting.

[Anonymous]

On 2006-04-16 17:48:00, Anonymous wrote:

"THE APPLE DOESN'T FALL FAR FROM THE TREE - "Apparently of Eastern origin, it is frequently used to assert the continuity of family characteristics. Quot. 1839 implies return to one's original home. Cf. 16th century Ger. 'der Apfel fellt nicht gerne weit vom Baume,' the apple does not usually fall far from the tree." From "The Concise Oxford Dictionary of Proverbs" by John Simpson and Jennifer Speake (Oxford University Press, Oxford and New York, Third Edition, 1998). "

Hey it is the truth, whether you believe hyde is a good bad or indifferent place. Your children learn from your day to day example.  when they grow up they are a relection of you. Not what you say, not what you preach, but you.  Child abuse and substance abuse are heritatry for that reason, although perhaps not solely.  It is really important to consider what you model and what you value thru your actions because your kids will pick it up.  
It is one of the things that hyde is correct on.  If your kid has a problem, you really need to look at the dynamics of the family with out regard to whether you choose hyde or not.
Hyde is likely a far different place now compared to when I went there, so I will not weight in on that score.

Sue Doenym

[Antigen]

On 2006-04-17 07:41:00, Anonymous wrote:

It is one of the things that hyde is correct on. If your kid has a problem, you really need to look at the dynamics of the family with out regard to whether you choose hyde or not.

One of the most cruel things you can do to your kid is to try to fix them. Moreso a whole family. It's a condemnation, a cold rejection, a damning. The fact is that the bigger part of growing up into a complete, whole person is about developing the discretion to honor and keep those things of value that our forbears had to offer while respectfully and adeptly improving on their work.

If your kid has problems, welcome to the real world. Everybody comes w/ a little extra baggage. Your kid, as we're talking about nearly grown people here, has it as his lot in life to finish the job that, for whatever reasons, you did badly. It's a right of passage that we all need. It's both foolish and cruel to lock a kid down and take away that single oportunity to come into his or her own.

Hyde is likely a far different place now compared to when I went there, so I will not weight in on that score.

Having watched rendition after rendition of this song and dance for the past 30 years or so (most of my life) I would tend to expect that it's not all that different at all. That kind of sickness is like dog kicking or wife beating. It just doesn't go away on it's own.

He that will not reason is a bigot; he who cannot is a fool; and he who dares not, is a slave.
--William Drummond (1585-1640)

[Anonymous]

I agree locking your kid up in one of these boot camp private jails is fubar. they are worse then jails because at least if you are in the criminal justice system you have rights.
  Hyde is a bit different then wasp or straight.  I am actually greatful I was there. My alturnative was juvy hall, So 616 high street was not that bad.  I had some good times there. If my choice was straight/wasp or a juvinile lock up, the lock up wins hands down.  

Sue

[Anonymous]

On 2006-04-18 08:58:00, Anonymous wrote:

"



  I agree locking your kid up in one of these boot camp private jails is fubar. they are worse then jails because at least if you are in the criminal justice system you have rights.

  Hyde is a bit different then wasp or straight.  I am actually greatful I was there. My alturnative was juvy hall, So 616 high street was not that bad.  I had some good times there. If my choice was straight/wasp or a juvinile lock up, the lock up wins hands down.  



Sue"

same thing here.  there was some really good there, and some really bad, but i always knew two things: i could always leave and go out on my own (i.e., there has never been a lock down process in Hyde's history), and chosing Hyde over juvy or being out on the road (which i did for a while) or a lock-down, was an easy decision.  

hyde may also have some similarities to straight and wasp, but i know some significant differences too, and Hyde would have been an easy choice over those places as well.  the fact that it had my parents examining their own lives being another big one.  

anyway, i don't idealize Hyde, but i do think, on the spectrum is turned out to be a much better option than any of these other possibilities.  for that matter, i am not even sure what else was out there at the time (for the money, my folks couldn't have stretched it much further).....

[Antigen]

It's not about the experience as it's happening. It's about having your family send you off for reprograming, becoming programed themselves and, for some people, the permanent situation of having to either pretend you like them and yourself much better than the old you/family, etc. or be held openly in contempt for refusing to adapt to it. It's about being orphaned. It's about having to choose between fidelity to yourself and membership in good standing in your own family.

Distrust all in whom the impulse to punish is powerful.
--Friedrich Nietzsche

_________________
fka ~ Antigen
Drug war POW  
Straight, Sarasota
`80 - `82
return undef() if /coercion/i;

[ This Message was edited by: Eudora on 2006-04-18 11:07 ]

[Anonymous]

Eudora,

  It was not my parents that sent me away, it was a Judge. I had a choice. Juvy or Hyde. I picked.  I am very happy with that choice. With that said I agree with what some of the detractor s have said on this board.

Sue

[Anonymous]

On 2006-04-18 11:06:00, Eudora wrote:

"It's not about the experience as it's happening. It's about having your family send you off for reprograming, becoming programed themselves and, for some people, the permanent situation of having to either pretend you like them and yourself much better than the old you/family, etc. or be held openly in contempt for refusing to adapt to it. It's about being orphaned. It's about having to choose between fidelity to yourself and membership in good standing in your own family.

Distrust all in whom the impulse to punish is powerful.

--Friedrich Nietzsche

_________________

fka ~ Antigen

Drug war POW  

Straight, Sarasota

`80 - `82

return undef() if /coercion/i;



[ This Message was edited by: Eudora on 2006-04-18 11:07 ]"

eudora, i didn't experience Hyde that way you describe it.  i was orphaned by my family long before i went to hyde.  hyde started us on a long process of change and ultimately growing together that many years later has resulted in a very open and loving relationship.  i think without hyde, there are nary few places that would have forced them to grow with me, even if some or even a lot of it was either misguided or misapplied (by at least some sketchy people without a lot of training no less)!

[Anonymous]

On 2006-04-18 11:06:00, Eudora wrote:


"Drug war POW"

Hi Eudora, can you explain the Drug war POW thing? Is there a place I can get more info on this generally??

[tommyfromhyde1]

On 2006-04-18 11:06:00, Eudora wrote:

"It's not about the experience as it's happening. It's about having your family send you off for reprograming, becoming programed themselves and, for some people, the permanent situation of having to either pretend you like them and yourself much better than the old you/family, etc. or be held openly in contempt for refusing to adapt to it. It's about being orphaned. It's about having to choose between fidelity to yourself and membership in good standing in your own family.

Distrust all in whom the impulse to punish is powerful.

--Friedrich Nietzsche

_________________

fka ~ Antigen

Drug war POW  

Straight, Sarasota

`80 - `82

return undef() if /coercion/i;



[ This Message was edited by: Eudora on 2006-04-18 11:07 ]"

The pressure goes a little deeper than that. When I was there in '76 Hyde used to advise parents to throw you out of the house if you didn't like Hyde.

When I tell the truth, it is not for the sake of convincing those who do not know it, but for the sake of defending those that do.
http://www.google.com/search?hl=en&q=william+blake' target='_new'>William Blake