Treatment Abuse, Behavior Modification, Thought Reform > Hyde Schools
anonymity on this board
Anonymous:
--- Quote ---On 2006-04-12 20:52:00, Lars wrote:
"
--- Quote ---
On 2006-04-12 12:21:00, Anonymous wrote:
"Lars said
--- Quote ---I don't care what their reasons are, they have no business bringing it up with my family."
--- End quote ---
I didn't miss the point of your original post Lars. I said in my first response that I actually agreed with you there are good reasons not to disclose one's identity here, but that it's also a personal decision. I didn't elaborate on that, but personal or not, I only agree with this to the extent one speaks of their personal experience. Acuse Hyde of a crime or mistreating others when without having the details or inside info, yes, that seems inappropriate and self-serving and worthy of challenge, including exploration of the posters bias, which requires their identity.
The concept of bias brings me back to your (secondary?) point that "Hyde doesn't respect privacy". Lars, when you were a little boy, your parents established a relationship with Hyde that focused on you. When Hyde called you recently (out of compassion) and then mentioned this to your family, that was business in the ordinary course. My issue is thus not with the primary point of your post, its how you chose to present it.
Lars said
--- Quote --- Also, when the school figured out who I was, they actually contacted me and later mentioned it to my parents in a fundraising appeal. Hyde does not respect anyone's privacy and I don't want anything to do with the place.
--- End quote ---
"When Hyde figured out who I was"? Lars, you outed yourself. That was your choice. Take responsibility for it.
"They actually contacted me". What I find interesting was your use of the word "actually", as it seems to imply impropriety instead of presenting the facts about the compassionate nature of the call. And later Hyde "mentioned" your call with them to your parents. (And that's really all it was, right "mentioned"?) I have to say, big whoop there Lars. So what? You know as well as anyone that Hyde calls former parents and talks about former students. This was no surprise, and was both predictable and standard in the industry.
Your point about not wanting to share your association with Hyde with the world is valid, at least to the extent you are talking about your personal experience. Your jump to a point about Hyde not respecting privacty, based on your bizarre example which includes you outing yourself (a cry for help?), Hyde contacting you compassionately (and you leaving these details out), and then mentioning it to your parents like every fundraising group I have ever known, is unwarranted. What I find more interesting is why you make this connection, because you do it again in your latest post.
Lars said:
--- Quote --- I don't care what their reasons are, they have no business bringing it up with my family....who the hell wants to have a potential employer finding out that you've been involved with such a fucked up place?
--- End quote ---
In that Hyde actually does have "business" bringing your conversation up with your parents, it started me thinking about what was really going on for you, so here's my guess: The fact you left out was that Hyde mentioned to your parents you were posting on this site.
Your real concern is that now your parents know you are posting on this site and that fact raises a host of potential issues, as it potentially highlights your unresolved issues with them (they sent you to Hyde, right)...and you don't like that one bit, so instead of dealing with the source of your issues, you project them onto Hyde.
Just a guess. I know I wouldn't want my parents to see all of my diary-like posts I make on various sites. That's why I would never out myself (on those sites)....and if I did, then even a non-lawyer would know I can't hold anyone other than myself responsible if my post somehow ends up on the front page of the New York Times.
"
--- End quote ---
I'll ask you again, which campus do you teach at? If you can't answer that, you have no business offering any criticism of those who choose not expose their posts to google searches. I don't care that my folks know about my posting here. In fact, I told them about it before this whole business came up. And how the fuck do you know that their calls were compassionate? The faculty member who called me spent the conversation trying to convince me that I'd really had a positive experience there. It was none of my parents' business and your inability to understand this displays an astounding degree of ignorance and lack of respect.
And your guess was wrong. I don't project anything onto Hyde. I just told it like it was. The place is an emotional toxic waste dump and a cesspool of hypocrisy and incompetence. If you don't like the way I present my views, well you know what you can do..."
--- End quote ---
Lars - I applaud your candor and courage. You are a much better example of integrity than many of the people at Hyde. I don't see a shred of evidence that you're "projecting" your own issues onto Hyde. You speak from your heart and say it like it is. Whoever accused you of blaming Hyde for your own shortcomings and "issues" took their line right out of Hyde's playbook. The way that person responded to you is so predictable at Hyde, the way they try to turn the tables on you and make every criticism of Hyde YOUR issue. Hyde seems completely unwilling to own up to its own deep defects. To think that a Hyde faculty member would call you and try to convince you that you really had a positive experience there despite your own misgivings - that's the height of arrogance. Talk about invalidating, minimizing and demeaning one's critics!
Anonymous:
Get the story straight...Lars was called to ask why he felt that way, not that he shouldn't feel that way. When someone graduates from Hyde the way he did, as a leader and recipient of a Diploma, one would be confused when reading his numerous diatribes on how much he hated the school and how he "played" the game.
So the call was out of concern from someone who called him/herself a friend during the time Lars spent his time at Hyde.
I am so sick of your Hyde bashing, when you know nothing more than you've read on this hianus site!
Anonymous:
--- Quote ---On 2006-04-13 06:36:00, Anonymous wrote:
"Get the story straight...Lars was called to ask why he felt that way, not that he shouldn't feel that way. When someone graduates from Hyde the way he did, as a leader and recipient of a Diploma, one would be confused when reading his numerous diatribes on how much he hated the school and how he "played" the game.
So the call was out of concern from someone who called him/herself a friend during the time Lars spent his time at Hyde.
I am so sick of your Hyde bashing, when you know nothing more than you've read on this hianus site!"
--- End quote ---
Kinda makes you wonder how hyde decides who has charater and who does not. Karma hit the Dogma on this one. Better luck next time. Thanks for playing.
Some one capable of the level of duplicity required to fake their way thru hyde is ... is ... a good canidate for the practice of law! Just kidding Lars.
sue doenym
Anonymous:
--- Quote ---On 2006-04-13 06:36:00, Anonymous wrote:
When someone graduates from Hyde the way he did, as a leader and recipient of a Diploma, one would be confused when reading his numerous diatribes on how much he hated the school and how he "played" the game.
--- End quote ---
Not really. It makes perfect sense that someone would play the game in order to lessen the torture or tenure in one of those places. Many have done that, it's called survival. When they finally get out and have less fear of retaliation, the truth comes out.
Lars:
--- Quote ---On 2006-04-13 06:36:00, Anonymous wrote:
"Get the story straight...Lars was called to ask why he felt that way, not that he shouldn't feel that way. When someone graduates from Hyde the way he did, as a leader and recipient of a Diploma, one would be confused when reading his numerous diatribes on how much he hated the school and how he "played" the game.
So the call was out of concern from someone who called him/herself a friend during the time Lars spent his time at Hyde.
I am so sick of your Hyde bashing, when you know nothing more than you've read on this hianus site!"
--- End quote ---
Maybe this guy called to find out why I felt the way I did, but he quickly began to try to convince me that I'd really had a great experience. So, Mr. Faculty Member, you're clearly the one who needs to get their story straight. And I didn't fake anything, I busted my ass and EARNED that diploma. Withholding one's opinions about the school in that setting isn't duplicitous, it's survival. Of course, for the Hyde folks, anyone who doesn't praise their methods "doesn't get it."
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