Hyde School, Organizational Incest

[Anonymous]

A therapist once gave me an a paper on organizational incest in order to help me put my Hyde experience in perspective.  As I read that paper, I felt that it could have been written about Hyde specificaly, for its accurate description of the community. What relief I felt. It showed me I was not alone and especially that I was not crazy for having the feelings that I did about Hyde and for wanting so badly to leave it far behind.

Yet, the farther I have traveled, the more the trauma of my time at Hyde has stayed with me. And, so has the grief - sadness for friendships lost, for a community that I thought I was part of but that vanished once I voiced discontent. Most of all, sadness for what I lost as a teen who trusted adults who were not trustworthy, as it turns out.

That was years ago. Yet, from reading the posts in this forum, it seems the concept of organizational incest still applies to what is going on at the Hyde Schools. I would appreciate if anyone else knows about this concept and would be willing to share more about it. This forum, for which I am deeply grateful, like the organizational incest paper, has confirmed that I am not alone in my perception that something is amiss at Hyde.

[Anonymous]

On 2006-03-05 10:31:00, Anonymous wrote:

"A therapist once gave me an a paper on organizational incest in order to help me put my Hyde experience in perspective.  As I read that paper, I felt that it could have been written about Hyde specificaly, for its accurate description of the community. What relief I felt. It showed me I was not alone and especially that I was not crazy for having the feelings that I did about Hyde and for wanting so badly to leave it far behind.



Yet, the farther I have traveled, the more the trauma of my time at Hyde has stayed with me. And, so has the grief - sadness for friendships lost, for a community that I thought I was part of but that vanished once I voiced discontent. Most of all, sadness for what I lost as a teen who trusted adults who were not trustworthy, as it turns out.



That was years ago. Yet, from reading the posts in this forum, it seems the concept of organizational incest still applies to what is going on at the Hyde Schools. I would appreciate if anyone else knows about this concept and would be willing to share more about it. This forum, for which I am deeply grateful, like the organizational incest paper, has confirmed that I am not alone in my perception that something is amiss at Hyde."

I can confirm that Hyde's incestuous quality lives on - big time.  Those of us who are still connected to Hyde see glaring evidence of the astonishing inbreeding.  Just scan the list of Hyde administrators and staff and draw lines connecting the people who are spouses, siblings, children or in some other way related to each other.  It's an amazing drawing.  

Anyone who has been around Hyde awhile knows that Hyde has paid a huge price because of this incest.  Like the phenomenon of folie a deux (French for "madness shared by two"), Hyde staff continually feed each other's world view and "We're right, you're wrong." stance toward nearly everyone outside of Hyde.  Hyde is full of "lifers" who have completely bought in to the Gauld cult; they tend to give virtually the same speeches, use the same jargon, and give the same glib answers to questions (especially those that challenge Hyde).  Hyde is a case study of what happens to an organization that uses a cookie cutter approach to hiring staff, training staff, and delivering its product.  Over time these organizations lose touch with the outside world.  Take a look at the number of Hyde "lifers" who are  "married" to the school.  My strong impression is that many of these people have had a hard time in their own lives and would have difficulty functioning outside the Hyde commune.  Hyde gives them a sense of purpose, a clear script, jargon for "insiders," and the illusion that their view of the world is the only acceptable one (standard cult qualities).  I continue to meet lots of parents and some faculty who smell this quality once they get to know Hyde and flee, eventually.  Of course, other parents and staff are seduced and buy into the Hyde mythology.

Hyde now appears to be paying a price for this incest.  More and more educational consultants seem to be figuring out Hyde's severe limitations, incestuous qualities, and questionable competence and effectiveness.  High turnover and attrition at Hyde may be evidence of this.  

If you're interested in reading about organizational incest of the sort that exists at Hyde, here's a book by William White: http://www.chestnut.org/LI/bookstore/Bl ... ncest.html

So, you're definitely not alone in your perception of Hyde's incest.  It's real.

[Anonymous]

On 2006-03-05 10:31:00, Anonymous wrote:

"A therapist once gave me an a paper on organizational incest in order to help me put my Hyde experience in perspective.  As I read that paper, I felt that it could have been written about Hyde specificaly, for its accurate description of the community. What relief I felt. It showed me I was not alone and especially that I was not crazy for having the feelings that I did about Hyde and for wanting so badly to leave it far behind.



Yet, the farther I have traveled, the more the trauma of my time at Hyde has stayed with me. And, so has the grief - sadness for friendships lost, for a community that I thought I was part of but that vanished once I voiced discontent. Most of all, sadness for what I lost as a teen who trusted adults who were not trustworthy, as it turns out.



That was years ago. Yet, from reading the posts in this forum, it seems the concept of organizational incest still applies to what is going on at the Hyde Schools. I would appreciate if anyone else knows about this concept and would be willing to share more about it. This forum, for which I am deeply grateful, like the organizational incest paper, has confirmed that I am not alone in my perception that something is amiss at Hyde."

Do you mind us asking if you went to a therapist as a result of the trauma you experienced at Hyde?  Am interested in knowing what else this therapist thought of your experiences.  I am too ashamed to report back to my therapist as she warned me NOT to place our son at Hyde.  After reading all the materials Hyde sent us, she saw right through them.  I am sorry I did not listen to her, but maybe I am a better person for all I went through.

[Anonymous]

On 2006-03-07 12:26:00, Anonymous wrote:

"

On 2006-03-05 10:31:00, Anonymous wrote:


"A therapist once gave me an a paper on organizational incest in order to help me put my Hyde experience in perspective.  As I read that paper, I felt that it could have been written about Hyde specificaly, for its accurate description of the community. What relief I felt. It showed me I was not alone and especially that I was not crazy for having the feelings that I did about Hyde and for wanting so badly to leave it far behind.





Yet, the farther I have traveled, the more the trauma of my time at Hyde has stayed with me. And, so has the grief - sadness for friendships lost, for a community that I thought I was part of but that vanished once I voiced discontent. Most of all, sadness for what I lost as a teen who trusted adults who were not trustworthy, as it turns out.





That was years ago. Yet, from reading the posts in this forum, it seems the concept of organizational incest still applies to what is going on at the Hyde Schools. I would appreciate if anyone else knows about this concept and would be willing to share more about it. This forum, for which I am deeply grateful, like the organizational incest paper, has confirmed that I am not alone in my perception that something is amiss at Hyde."

Do you mind us asking if you went to a therapist as a result of the trauma you experienced at Hyde?  Am interested in knowing what else this therapist thought of your experiences.  I am too ashamed to report back to my therapist as she warned me NOT to place our son at Hyde.  After reading all the materials Hyde sent us, she saw right through them.  I am sorry I did not listen to her, but maybe I am a better person for all I went through."

I'm not the person who was a student at Hyde.  I'm another parent.  Like you, we ended up going to Hyde against our better judgment.  We too failed to follow the red flags and all the warnings.  After we arrived at Hyde we discovered that so much about this school is harmful to students and parents.  I'll be the first to admit that a small minority of people like Hyde.  But I'll also be the first to admit that I've met so many people who can't get far enough away from Hyde once they discover all the organizational incest, the poor example set by Joe Gauld, the school's inability to provide so many of its students with the help they need.  I'm so happy to learn about this web site.  People who are thinking about Hyde should absolutely know about all the unhappy parents and graduates.

[Anonymous]

I wrote the original entry about organizational incest. Sorry for the typo in the first paragraph. I can spell, just can't type.

Thanks to the person who suggested further resources. I will read them.

In answer to the question about my therapist, her role was to help me put my experiences as student and staffer into perspective rather than to offer me her opinions. The organizational incest article came to her mind as I described my Hyde experiences. The nature of the incest in the community was broader than the intermarriage of alums/staff, employment of extended Gauld family, recruitment of extended family and friends of students/staff, although that certainly was part of it. It included the shared lingo and behaviors, the insular nature of the community, and a number of other traits.

Over the years, I have worked on Hyde-related issues in therapy numerous times. Some of the issues are...
Shame for letting myself get sucked in and for recruiting others in my family, betrayal and victimization by adults whom I trusted, shame as teacher/intern for perpetuating behaviors that had caused me emotional harm as a student, sadness because I invested so heavily in what I idealistically believed was a worthy cause that was going to "change American education" , loss when I left the community and relationships there behind, anger at ways in which I was treated, particularly by staff of the opposite sex, dismay when I think of open school meetings in the student union where parents exposed to the whole community their deepest, darkest sexual secrets, inadequacy when thrown into a class to teach a subject I myself had not studied since the 10th grade, shock at the behaviors I witnessed in my trusted mentors as the community turned in on itself and imploded, etc, etc. There are complex layers to each of these emotions, but the most difficult to live with are those related to ways in which I may have caused harm to others.

[Anonymous]

So when were you there?

Sid Smith

[Anonymous]

On 2006-03-07 17:48:00, Anonymous wrote:

"I wrote the original entry about organizational incest. Sorry for the typo in the first paragraph. I can spell, just can't type.



Thanks to the person who suggested further resources. I will read them.



In answer to the question about my therapist, her role was to help me put my experiences as student and staffer into perspective rather than to offer me her opinions. The organizational incest article came to her mind as I described my Hyde experiences. The nature of the incest in the community was broader than the intermarriage of alums/staff, employment of extended Gauld family, recruitment of extended family and friends of students/staff, although that certainly was part of it. It included the shared lingo and behaviors, the insular nature of the community, and a number of other traits.



Over the years, I have worked on Hyde-related issues in therapy numerous times. Some of the issues are...

Shame for letting myself get sucked in and for recruiting others in my family, betrayal and victimization by adults whom I trusted, shame as teacher/intern for perpetuating behaviors that had caused me emotional harm as a student, sadness because I invested so heavily in what I idealistically believed was a worthy cause that was going to "change American education" , loss when I left the community and relationships there behind, anger at ways in which I was treated, particularly by staff of the opposite sex, dismay when I think of open school meetings in the student union where parents exposed to the whole community their deepest, darkest sexual secrets, inadequacy when thrown into a class to teach a subject I myself had not studied since the 10th grade, shock at the behaviors I witnessed in my trusted mentors as the community turned in on itself and imploded, etc, etc. There are complex layers to each of these emotions, but the most difficult to live with are those related to ways in which I may have caused harm to others. "

Reading your words are like reading my own thoughts.  It is so reassuring to discover that other people had experiences very much like my own at Hyde.  At this point in my life I find it hard to believe I got sucked in so badly by the Hyde mystic and cult qualities.  I too feel embarrassed that I bought into that insular, closed, incestuous environment.  I look back now in amazement that I didn't see Hyde for what it is for so many people - a twisted refuge for many adults who have struggled in their own lives and need the security, sense of direction, and power that Joe Gauld and his flock have perpetuated.  Hyde can be such a perverted environment where the staff live in such a small bubble that they reinforce each other's perceptions of how students should be treated.  I encountered a few dedicated professionals at Hyde, but most left quickly once they realized what Hyde's all about.  I am also so depressed to think about the teachers standing in front of those classrooms who themselves had poor academic records and little training to teach their subjects.  What a disgrace.

[Anonymous]

On 2006-03-07 17:48:00, Anonymous wrote:

"I wrote the original entry about organizational incest. Sorry for the typo in the first paragraph. I can spell, just can't type.



Thanks to the person who suggested further resources. I will read them.



In answer to the question about my therapist, her role was to help me put my experiences as student and staffer into perspective rather than to offer me her opinions. The organizational incest article came to her mind as I described my Hyde experiences. The nature of the incest in the community was broader than the intermarriage of alums/staff, employment of extended Gauld family, recruitment of extended family and friends of students/staff, although that certainly was part of it. It included the shared lingo and behaviors, the insular nature of the community, and a number of other traits.



Over the years, I have worked on Hyde-related issues in therapy numerous times. Some of the issues are...

Shame for letting myself get sucked in and for recruiting others in my family, betrayal and victimization by adults whom I trusted, shame as teacher/intern for perpetuating behaviors that had caused me emotional harm as a student, sadness because I invested so heavily in what I idealistically believed was a worthy cause that was going to "change American education" , loss when I left the community and relationships there behind, anger at ways in which I was treated, particularly by staff of the opposite sex, dismay when I think of open school meetings in the student union where parents exposed to the whole community their deepest, darkest sexual secrets, inadequacy when thrown into a class to teach a subject I myself had not studied since the 10th grade, shock at the behaviors I witnessed in my trusted mentors as the community turned in on itself and imploded, etc, etc. There are complex layers to each of these emotions, but the most difficult to live with are those related to ways in which I may have caused harm to others. "

Hey when were you there?  Were you around when Hyde Version 1.0 crashed and smoked the duel cpus (Joe and Ed) I am realy very curious about that time. Any info you could share would be appreciated.  

Sid Smith a.k.a Norm DePlume

[Anonymous]

Hey Sid,

I'd love to know who you are....I'm sure we were ther5e together...can I give you a private email to communicate.

Thanks!

[Anonymous]

On 2006-03-09 06:45:00, Anonymous wrote:

"Hey Sid,



I'd love to know who you are....I'm sure we were ther5e together...can I give you a private email to communicate.



Thanks!



"

I think we were too.  So you get the Sid reference. send me an email [email protected]

Sid

[Anonymous]

On 2006-03-07 17:48:00, Anonymous wrote:

"I wrote the original entry about organizational incest. Sorry for the typo in the first paragraph. I can spell, just can't type.



Thanks to the person who suggested further resources. I will read them.



In answer to the question about my therapist, her role was to help me put my experiences as student and staffer into perspective rather than to offer me her opinions. The organizational incest article came to her mind as I described my Hyde experiences. The nature of the incest in the community was broader than the intermarriage of alums/staff, employment of extended Gauld family, recruitment of extended family and friends of students/staff, although that certainly was part of it. It included the shared lingo and behaviors, the insular nature of the community, and a number of other traits.



Over the years, I have worked on Hyde-related issues in therapy numerous times. Some of the issues are...

Shame for letting myself get sucked in and for recruiting others in my family, betrayal and victimization by adults whom I trusted, shame as teacher/intern for perpetuating behaviors that had caused me emotional harm as a student, sadness because I invested so heavily in what I idealistically believed was a worthy cause that was going to "change American education" , loss when I left the community and relationships there behind, anger at ways in which I was treated, particularly by staff of the opposite sex, dismay when I think of open school meetings in the student union where parents exposed to the whole community their deepest, darkest sexual secrets, inadequacy when thrown into a class to teach a subject I myself had not studied since the 10th grade, shock at the behaviors I witnessed in my trusted mentors as the community turned in on itself and imploded, etc, etc. There are complex layers to each of these emotions, but the most difficult to live with are those related to ways in which I may have caused harm to others. "

If there are certain families that you feel guilty about hurting, my suggestion is to try to reach out to them.  Even though it sounds like it was many years ago, I bet they would appreciate it.  

I harbour ill will towards a few people at that school who hurt my family, but more importantly I feel betrayed because of what they put my daughter through.  I would be especially receptive if one of these people reached out to me to apologize.  This would be what the true Hyde spirit is and would help my family heal.

[Anonymous]

Does Joe Gauld's language in his letter to the Hyde-DC faculty (in another thread) trouble anyone else besides me, when he refers to Joanne Wingood Goubourn '75 as the "moral leader and ultimate authority of the Hyde community"? Nothing personal against Joanne, but the religious overtones here are frightening to me.

[Anonymous]

On 2006-03-30 18:56:00, Anonymous wrote:

"Does Joe Gauld's language in his letter to the Hyde-DC faculty (in another thread) trouble anyone else besides me, when he refers to Joanne Wingood Goubourn '75 as the "moral leader and ultimate authority of the Hyde community"? Nothing personal against Joanne, but the religious overtones here are frightening to me.







"

I noticed Joe's wording also, but it doesn't surprise me in the least!  There were always religious overtones at Hyde.  The seminars are very similar to AA meetings, but the higher power was Joe Gauld the founder of Hyde School.  

Very scary

[Anonymous]

IT is not surprising to me that the notion of an internal moral compass, and that that compass should be a key part of leadership scares you.  Again Joe never claimed to be a "higher power" in the context of Bill Wilson's writings, or a prophet as claimed in another thread.

[Anonymous]

On 2006-03-31 03:07:00, Anonymous wrote:

"

  IT is not surprising to me that the notion of an internal moral compass, and that that compass should be a key part of leadership scares you.  Again Joe never claimed to be a "higher power" in the context of Bill Wilson's writings, or a prophet as claimed in another thread."

He might not have claimed to be a "higher power" in the one letter, but he certainly has claimed it in the past and seems to still be doing it.

Truth is there is nothing wrong with the leader of this school running it whatever way he wants. It is not for any of us to say. What is important is that potential parents go in with their eyes wide open based on truth rather than the false hype the school dishes out.