Smushing?

[Psianide]

Smushing was strange, there was a very pronounced atmosphere of heightened physical contact at CEDU that went beyond just smushing though.  I think part of it was the fact that sex was off limits and so they furnished alternate outlets for sexual energy that were acceptable or even compulsory. Most good brainwashing institutions have some variation on this theme. Sexual energy is one of the most powerful forces for shaping a persons behavior and perception, so in some sense it is intuitive that an institution like CEDU would be very tightly controlling of it.


It seems to me that at CEDU the couple was out of bounds (seeing that the easiest way to get on bans with someone was to clear up an attraction with them) and so  a free love system envolving smushing and cuddling with everyone became the norm.

[blownawaytheidahoway]

::bump::

[Anonymous]

Bumpity Bump!

[Anonymous]

Yeah, I don't know how meticulous the staff planned anything when I was CEDU RS (98-99)

I'm pretty sure that by that time, the initial mind-fuck masters had scattered off one by one like crabs, slinking off before the dam could break on top of them and leaving mostly unrefined brutes in their place.  They still had the formula, because Guy Bonnano was still there when I arrived, but for the most part, you could tell the staff just didn't have the ability to fully integrate the intricate needles necessary to evoke that absolute dependence and subserviance the true cults generate.  I mean, I think you're right about smushing in theory, and the cults that overwhelm individuals enough to convince them to die utilize the careful deprivation of human contact, followed by a subtle, meager allotment of scripted contact that is carefully kept under surveillance. So, I think maybe smushing wasn't as effectively utilized as a controlling device when I was there, although it was still unorthodox, uncomfortable, and unnatural.

One thing, though.  There was a guy named Martin at CEDU RS in 98-99 who was a bonafide predator.  I don't know if he ever actually did anything inappropriate, I want to make that clear.  But this fucking guy sent up screaming red warning flags to me.  I'm a fairly diminuative guy, 5'7" and not a centimeter taller, and thin.  (Well, I was.  Did not have back hair then, either.  Life sucks.)  But this guy was ALL over me RIGHT after I arrived.  And I'm no genius, but I'm not a fucking idiot either.  Right off the bat, he tried to let me know that "things were done differently around here," as he rebuked me for some thing or other after I had been in the office for all of 5 minutes from Ascent.  And man, I knew, just KNEW, that later on this guy would approach me privately and ask how I was holding up.  You know, to sort of position himself in such a way that I would trust him, and then after opening up (no pun intended there, gack) I would feel vulnerable as well as tightly conjoined with the guy...and would feel obligated to do as he suggested.  That stopped immediately, as the second or third time he nuzzled (apt, I mean, NUZZLED his FACE into shoulder and then the side of my neck) into me, I flat out shrugged him off and said quietly looking straight at him, "Man, what...the...fuck?  Don't do that shit again ever, I'm fucking dead serious."  And he looked at me kinda confused about how to respond, but I just kind of gave him a cold smile, got up, and left.  And he never did anything like that again, to me anyways.  But everytime a new kid (male, always) who looked frazzled and a little scared and was small in stature, there was Martin, all over the poor bastard in some corner.  It was fucked up, especially because he never said a single word to any of the counselors or other staff or anyone else about the incident.  Ever.  I'd been there like 2 days, and I told him not to do "some shit ever again, I'm dead fucking serious."  That's not tolerated at CEDU, especially looking straight at a counselor and basically making an ill defined but unquestionably threatening statement.  But, because I said it very quietly and with a straight tone of voice, no one heard anything or even picked up on any tension, and I did that on purpose.  And that allowed him to slink away from the situation as if it didn't happen.  I'd bet my last fucking cent on the fact that given the chance, that dude would have gently stroked my balls.  

CEDU was great.  It makes me laugh that it even existed in the first place.  People are retarded.  Sure!  You have my kid!  You seem credible!  Christ.   -KH

[Antigen]

Far out! Christ posting to my little forum. Who would ever have thunk it?

[Anonymous]

Far out! Christ posting to my little forum. Who would ever have thunk it?

Yeah...about that.  I really should apologize about the vulgarity and the stroking of the balls.  Usually I supply the wine, but apparently on this occasion I decided to drink a whole bunch and write on your forum.  Funny...oh well, fuck it.  Peace be with you my son.  Wanna cuddle?  On the floor?  Do you have a cd player?  Have you ever heard the song "Like a Bridge Over Troubled Water?"

-kh
-----------------------
Tolling for the rebel, tolling for the rake
Tolling for the luckless, the abandoned an’ forsaked
Tolling for the outcast, burnin’ constantly at stake
An’ we gazed upon the chimes of freedom flashing.

Because something is happening here
But you don’t know what it is
Do you, mister jones?
-Bob Dylan (Ballad of a Thin Man)

[Anonymous]

Tolling for the rebel, tolling for the rake
Tolling for the luckless, the abandoned an’ forsaked
Tolling for the outcast, burnin’ constantly at stake
An’ we gazed upon the chimes of freedom flashing.

That's also Bob Dylan, song is Chimes of Freedom.  Not real sure what that has to do with anything relevant to this thread nor this site though.  Sorry.  Boredom.

[LS]

Hi Guest one, two, three, four - especially "KH".

I'm taking interviews, for print and possibly a video documentary, and want to get some of these stories on the record. Please see my myspace post, and drop me an email. I'll send you all details, and answer any and all questions. I was a peer of yours, if you were there from 88 to 90, and remember Martin, and his boy crushes... sorry, don't know what else to call them.

Bests,

Liam Scheff

http://www.myspace.com/liamscheff
http://liamscheff.com

[alia23]

wow

i always loved smooshing

maybe thats why i have had serious boundary issues with people.  this may have been one of the places cedu strengthened a weakness of mine.
shocking!

yes

smooshing was a bad thing.

[dishdutyfugitive]

forced smooshing is the problem.

forced anything is bullshit.

(granted as kids we all have to be forced to brush our teeth at night - I'm not talking about these fundamentals).

I'll never forget my 1st night walking up to the living room and seeing the sea of forced smooshing. I should have ran away right then.

[AuntieEm2]

castle wrote:

Yes. Nothing like some no-boundaries affection.

You know, this is really serious. Makes me very angry that this was done to you. Forced physical or sexual advances are not okay. It is, in fact, legally classified as sexual abuse. Add the power differential into the equation, and in many, if not all, parts of the country this is sexual assault.

No emotional boundaries, no sexual/physical boundaries. No Boundaries County, ID.

If you don't mind my asking, how does this translate into personal relationships post-program?

Auntie Em

[alia23]

i have been being told for years that i dont have boundaries and could never figure it out.  i think this is probably why.

i can't verbalize it really....  but i feel like an internal alarm goes off if i try to express a boundary, an alarm that screams "YOU DONT HAVE THE RIGHT TO REJECT ANYONE!!!!!!!!  IF YOU REJECT, YOU WILL BE REJECTED!!!!!!!!  YOU MUST ACCEPT ANYTHING THAT CROSSES YOUR PATH AS YOUR DUTY IN LIFE TO ACCEPT, OTHERWISE YOU WILL SPEND YOUR WHOLE LIFE ALONE!!!!!!!!!!!"

something like that.....

you see why i only use small case now....  cause i hate caps, they mean yelling to me, so i dont use them. 

there is some good to being unjudgemental, but as you can see this is a real exhaggeration.  but you are lucky that i am going thru this stuff now, cause i would not have been able to verbalize these things a year ago, and a year from now, i probably won't want to.

best to you, i am glad you are doing what you are doing.
alia

[dishdutyfugitive]

What comes to mind is how alienated and alone you feel right after you graduate.

You go from 2 1/2 years of daily full excessive smoosh contact to nothing.

We probably told other students/staff that we 'loved' them at least 5 times a day.

[shanlea]

Alia: It is still good you wrote to them, because even if they feel that way now, it might plant a seed... for later or for hindsight.

[Builderall]

The whole 'smushing' thing at RMA was a horrible experience for and I simply refused to be apart of it. I was young,16, and one of the prettier ones that got absolutely harrassed and because of my refusal to participate I got punished over and over again and put on bans from anybody I had made friends with. I was told again and again how I obviously was to good for everyone there and I was really just the biggest loser of all and simply because I refused to lau down with grown men and have the 'cuddle' me....the women too. (Caroline Wolff I hope rots in hell) . RMA was a very sick place and I was a lucky one to have 'escaped' as I ran away twice and my parents were so upset (as they had been the day they dropped me off and realized what a fucked up place they had been conned into sending me by an education consultant from Atlanta that got kickbacks for each kid she sent there)
Anyway I post this because of recent I came across a facebook page on RMA and my horrible memories cam flooding back even 25 years later and I too get so incredibly pissed off about that place. Oh I have with out a doubt moved on and did within a couple weeks of returning from that hell hole but my life was never quite the same.