It keeps getting longer when I think I'm approaching a point in it that will be hardest.
Already, I've written about my arrival and my splitting and most all of my experience about being punisheed for splitting. I've descrbed a lot about my "story" and why my parents decided to send me there and I've been really fair. But I want to be accurate about the program and what IT DOES. The long term effects, but MORE importantly, the accurate description of the black/white outlook that we learned there, and what seems to have been a totalitarian/modification in my thought patterns about myself and magnified views of myself when I came out of the place. There were some positive and negative views and veiws- that errant, took a while to get out and some that truly never did. And to really get in there and show a total change of PERCEPTION about myself and life and right/wrong and the shame and guilt and rage involved it seems overwhelming.
I'm also a bit caught up in trying to remember as much as possible about the workshops and propheets and describe them as badges that presented obligation to the skool. Expectation to be complacent grows the longer you are there, you must act involved. Acting was necessary at first and then it wasn't acting any more. You know?
So, I'm getting this final half done in my mind but haven't barfed it out yet on paper. wanna help me remember the robot mentality?
Awww, it'll be fun!
thanks, if you can get into it for a bit. I'll be remembering more from every transmission.
thanks all
-blownawaytheidahoway
see Cedu section and search my name out to see other writings pertaining to opinion about matter and content.
