Treatment Abuse, Behavior Modification, Thought Reform > Spouses of Survivors
Relationships in general
Ramona:
dear Goodtobefree....I just wanted to add that a very good friend of ours is a psychiatrist who has just finished a book on PTSD....she's been working with another doctor who specializes in this and they are at USC.....the book is getting published and will be out soon....I'll ask her the name and let you know....she also works at the emergency room at the L.A. County Hospital....she's a young, very compassionate woman...we've known her since she was about 14 years old....wishing you all the best, Ramona
Deborah:
Rudy Bentz at a Waldorf School? How very weird. Is he, or were they, so desperate to fill a position. My son attended Waldorf kindergarten. It ultimately wasn't a good fit for us, but I respect the gentle, loving approach of the method, and positive regard given the children. BM was never used. No mind games either. What qualified him for this position? Is he an Anthroposoph? All staff at my son's school were. That's as weird as an Anthroposoph working in a BM warehouse. The one's I've known wouldn't make it through the first day, if they even took a position.
Guess his Ed Con gig didn't pan out, eh?
There is a ton of info here on Bentz- search his name. Not sure it will be sufficient for your purposes. Personally, I'd focus on helping them understand the nature of his 'work' with children in the past and the absolute disregard inherent in the methods he values. How he set up two Therapeutic Programs (Hidden Lake Academy and Academy at Swift River), listing both as Private Boarding School to avoid protective regulations.
How the methods employed were austere and experimental. If they're anything like the Waldofians I know, that's all they will need to determine he doesn't belong in that environment.
And, it's highly unlikely, but perhaps he's come full circle and realizes that abuse is not 'healing or therapeutic'.
And Good, sorry to distract from the topic. I related and agreed with your comments, particularly how hard it is to find a good therapist. I also have heard wonderful things about EMDR. I'd like to hear more of your personal experience with it.
I consider my closest friends to be my best 'therapists'. I know where I have difficulty and I give them permission to point things out to me that I might not notice. They know that they can interrupt some bullshit thinking without fear of offending me, and that I'll do the same. Those are my most valued relationships. Doesn't always happen that their assessment is accurate, but it's very useful when it is. And more times than not, it's close enough that I can figure it out from there.
Trust is a significant issue that deserves more discussion. My current 'working' opinion on trust is that it's over-rated, unless it's boardering on 'paranoia' and significantly interfering with relationships.
It could be useful to explore why 'trusting' people is important to you. What does that mean, rationally and realisticly? How are you expecting others to be/act in order for you to feel safe and to 'trust' them? Do you trust your ability to take care of yourself in a relationship, so you don't have to 'trust' the other person to?
What I've learned over the years is that you can't have the same expectations for everyone in your life. I can 'trust' friend A to be there at the drop of a dime, when I need to cry or rage about something. I can't 'trust' friend B to do the same. I don't compare the two or feel that I can 'trust' A more than B. For me, this really has nothing to do with trust in the big picture. It has more to do with me understanding the limitations of the people in my life and not having unrealistic expectations about their abilities. Unrealistic expectations can lead to disappointment which can lead to 'mistrust'. A viscious cycle.
So interrupt the cycle. Don't expect a philanderer to be faithful. Don't trust a gossip mongerer to keep a secret. Don't expect an alcoholic to stay on the wagon. Don't expect a friend who can't manage time to be on time. Funny, that last one. I have a friend who couldn't be on time to save her life. This caused me great frustration early on. Now, when it's important, I ask her to arrive 30 minutes earlier. An hour if it's really important.
That's my perspective, fwiw. Trust, like love, has as many definitions as there are people. It's a good topic!!
[ This Message was edited by: Deborah on 2006-03-12 00:27 ]
Anonymous:
Rudy Bentz worked at the CEDU school along with his wife Jill. He was very prominent in this program that used groups (raps)not for therapy but to bully and emotionally abuse eachother. I can tell you right now that many kids confessed to false dirt or exaggerated dirt under heavy bombardment in the rap arena. They also facilitated workshops called propheets that were intense, highly contrived experientials that tore you down but did not build you up. Frankly, it was the worst kind of experience for developing minds. Look at the CEDU site, but start for the earliest page. The more current pages are irrelevant. There is a lot of anger.
By the way, I did attend CEDU when the Bentzs were there. The whole program, on a systemic level, was damaging and not remotely designed for emotional growth. You do drink the Kool Aid just to survive; it is hard to resists the program directives when you are isolated, monitored, and your parents manipulated. You realize you have no recourse but to buy into the program.
Rudy Bentz, by philosophy, has no business in the Waldorf program.
Goodtobefree:
--- Quote ---On 2006-03-12 07:03:00, Anonymous wrote:
"Rudy Bentz worked at the CEDU school along with his wife Jill. He was very prominent in this program that used groups (raps)not for therapy but to bully and emotionally abuse eachother. I can tell you right now that many kids confessed to false dirt or exaggerated dirt under heavy bombardment in the rap arena. They also facilitated workshops called propheets that were intense, highly contrived experientials that tore you down but did not build you up. Frankly, it was the worst kind of experience for developing minds. Look at the CEDU site, but start for the earliest page. The more current pages are irrelevant. There is a lot of anger.
By the way, I did attend CEDU when the Bentzs were there. The whole program, on a systemic level, was damaging and not remotely designed for emotional growth. You do drink the Kool Aid just to survive; it is hard to resists the program directives when you are isolated, monitored, and your parents manipulated. You realize you have no recourse but to buy into the program.
Rudy Bentz, by philosophy, has no business in the Waldorf program. "
--- End quote ---
Not only that, but when he went on to start ASR, he brought a few of his CEDU friends along with him. The schools are pretty much identical in nature except that ASR is more of a "finishing school", since it's designed to be "hands off". You send kids there after they've already been in programs. They might not be completely obedient or trustworthy yet, but their will has already been broken and they're not likely to fight back or try to run. All the vocabulary words are different, but it's the same thing any way you look at it.
Rudy Bentz is a fucking monster, he needs to be locked up and prevented from ever coming near another child.
Ramona:
As a concerned parent, I ask that you all keep your responses as dignified as possible....and to the point...whatever the people in question may or may not have done, parents should not jump to conclusions, nor should teachers...I ahve seen letters from parents and students who praised Rudy Bentz' work and are grateful to him for his help....perhaps there are two sides to this...perhaps some of the critics are just angry and wanting revenge?
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