Treatment Abuse, Behavior Modification, Thought Reform > The Seed Discussion Forum
Another 73/74 Seedling Grad
3xsaSeedling:
Exactly.
30-odd years later, for me. As I said: 'I could've KEPT forgetting some of this!'
Re-hashing this junk. Doing this here, with you guys, will either save me a fortune or push me right over the edge.
bb
GregFL:
Well, admittedly it isn't the right thing for everyone to go thru this. I will say it was the right thing for me. My seed experience had such a negative affect on my self worth and caused me to feel like such an outsider with 'normal' people, that dealing with it was ultimately one of the most important things I did as an adult
Anonymous:
Life may be short but it is also very wide, go around the yucky parts when you can
I love this one. 3xs
3xsaSeedling:
the previous post is mine. :wink:
Y'all are gonna
I live w/my husband and son. They want me to stop posting here because my preoccupation w/'this Seed stuff' is bothering them :exclaim: yeahsureright
Art's attitude always made me feel less-than-worthy. I remember a psychiatrist (If that was true) came through group one day picking out people to speak with. He was denied access to me. Here's the answer he got: "...she just wants attention; there's no problem with her."
Now I 'get it'. Art had decided that was my game. How perfect his solution to ignore me was. How better for me to see how ignorant he really was.
After that I felt a bit disassociated from the group-different-in a place where everyone was the same-'cept me. Then came the documentary.
Here's when Art became theSeed. I guess they need political support and money and found a way to get it. He always was theSeed actually: without the 'person' of Art contributing, theSeed did eventually crumble, didn't it?
Suddenly, Art only led some raps. And he wasn't there all the time, anymore. The mood changed too: became institutional. By the time SR84 opened, Art led only a few raps ( always open meetings. I never even saw him at the end of my program.
bbasap
lllLIZlll:
I hope somebody will see this post. I decided today that I was going to try to find out if the Seed still existed. I looked up the Seed and found the Mustard Seed in St Pete and called up. It was a drug rehab, but not what I was looking for. I just wanted to reach out and touch someone. I have had dreams over the years about the Seed, still sing the song and smile. Today I was trying to picture the staff and what they would look like at 55-65 years old and if they were still there. I felt the Seed helped to change my life. It brought an awareness that I didn't have and understanding of ME. It helped me to sort out what was "truth" and find out who I was. It was my first opportunity to find that I could be me and could have friends. As I grew and learned from life's lessons, I was able to accept myself the way I am...well maybe just that I am weird and different, but that I don't have to try to fit in the "normal" mode. During the many years that past after the Seed I would tell people that I was grateful for the Seed, but that if I "screwed up", I would NEVER go back. I learned the lessons that have helped me to make choices for me and not to continue doing drugs and screwing up not only my life, but the lives of my children. They know I did drugs, but they also know that drugs are bad! I wonder what happened to Suzie, Amy (?), Billy the short guy with the blue VW bug. I remember the bountiful meals we had at the Vero Beach Seed and then we went to Ft Lauderdale and had the PBJ sandwiches Monday thru Friday lunch Ham & cheese for Fridaynite/Saturday lunch and tuna fish for Saturday nite and I didn't eat on Sunday lunch because someone had gotten food poisoning. Yes...Heck yes things were tough. We had to deal with the human part of the program (the bad part) pointing fingers at others before they could point them at you, being the kicked dog when the boss yelled at you. I remember standing up for hours down in Miami (after getting home late) as punishment for not "being honest". Going to bed at 2-3 am and then getting up at 6 to go to Hialeah to be dropped off before I was taken to the Seed.
I am glad someone else talked about being an outsider when the went back to visit. I finally had a ride to go down there from Cocoa and I was so excited to be able to visit...It was horrible! I was not welcomed. I swear that they had changed it to look more like a prison and I never checked back again...except in my dreams.
I also was there in 1974....April Fools Day, I went in got out just before graduation...talked to my boyfriend and got sent back. Finally graduated the program sometime before January of 1975.
I hope that I can find someone that was in Vero Beach and got transferred down to Ft Lauderdale. I really want to find another "Seedling". I have read some of the posts, but I intend to go through all of them. Thanks to all of you that have posted and those that will!!!! Liz
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