re: truth searcher. First of all i disagree with the last poster in that sometimes I believe one's will must be broken down to a degree, then if done correctly, build it back up so they see a new self and willingness to persue that to make them happy and confident. I will get bashed on this board, but really, it sounds like your concerned, have done what you had to do, and things aren't going exactly right right now. If your really wanting to know what to do, this board, which is a very minute group of hostile people who never got it, is not the place to contimplate or make decisions. You should seek other neutral and knowledgable advise. That being said, reading your post, this is what I think. There is definitely recidicism. Not to blame you, because you do care, but that is again being taken advantage of. You ARE the responsible adult, and you CAN and WILL make the decisions based upon her living in YOUR house! She does not yet realize how much you care for her, what you've had to do, and how hard it is on you right now. Second, you and her have a definite communication gap. You MUST have regular communication sessions,and that is required to live in the house. If she's cutting herself, you'll have to decide if this is an attention thing, or does she need some real psychological help. You talk to her eye-to-eye where she knows you mean business, then do what you have to do, and tell her that you will because you love her. She will respect that regardless of what she might say immediately. Lastly, I can fully understand your confusion and grief, and this site will only add to confusion. I'm on here anonymously because i do it for a laugh at the people crying about their "abuse"= had to work, had to look at wall, had to not talk, had to not look. Sorry, not had to, but was "forced" to. No, everything in life is about choices. It is spelled out from the beginning what the rules are. In a program, or in real life. Now, I'll really get bombed for this. But you know what, when my teen was really headed for big trouble, and I had been through all the legal ramafications that went with it, I talked to many people, did my own investigations, and personally took my child to one I was comfortable with. About a year later, my child is about to graduate, thinks he is 10' tall, loves his family, respects rules, and is very serious about not being around negative influences. I think you have hope to get help for your daughter, but it HAS to begin with you putting your foot down. She WILL participate in your discussions and your decisions, because YOU are the parent. And she can CHOOSE what she wants to do from there. Being 17, if she refuses, she's on her own. Then she'll be back, to go by your recommendations.
