Depression and dissatisfaction...

[Anonymous]

I have been dealing with depression for about five years or so, its not just simply depression, it is a combination of lack of motivation, generally not being too fond of sober reality, my general environment, and the feeling that I could be doing a lot more to get in a happier spot. It can be a circular cycle, one thing feeding another.

I was anti-depressants for a while, all the sveral types I tried made me more depressed and even suicidal. Then I started to self-medicate myself with marijuana and smoke everyday up to 6x a day, but usually 3x a day or so. I did that for years. It gave me something to look foreward to day in and out, it gave me more desire for sex, which I also looked foreward to. Finally I reached a point a little over 3 months ago, and I said, "This is not getting me anywhere, my tolerence is huge, I have just been coasting and degenerating."

I havent smoked weed since then, but I predict that I will probably do so in about 6 months. Since I stopped smoking weed I started drinking every night to fill that void and replace that feeling of looking foreward to something. I am reaching that same point with alcohol that I did with weed. Now I wonder what is next. Why is it that I can't get addicted to positive things like exercise and studying or reading? Am I just another addicted fated to get another addiction on a different drug, or start smoking weed and coasting even more?

I am only fucking 18 and I feel like I am disabled, like somebody had flipped the off switch on my energy levels, the only things I truly look foreward to right now is drinking, smoking weed one day again, sex (if I can get a girl who meets my high standards that I don't even live up to), eating, and sleeping and smoking cigarettes. I think I have dreams of going to college and becoming successful but sometimes I think I am just deceiving myself for self-preservation... What the fuck can I realistically do to get motivated to get some shit done. I know aderall would help beacuse it has in the past, but is that just another addiction?

Please comment and/or help.

Anone Must

[Anonymous]

It's OK to smoke pot, and if it helps you cope with life, then do it.  No need to feel bad about it, it's a lot less harmful than you've been told, and actually beneficial in many ways.

You know what?  I think you sound like a pretty intelligent and articulate person, and it's normal to feel depressed at your age.  It's also normal to experiment with mood and mind altering substances.  No need for guilt or shame, smoke on, drink on, have a good time.  The world gets us all down now and then, sometimes a good toke or ten can be a lifesaver....

[sammiegirl]

On 2005-12-24 18:43:00, Anonymous wrote:

"   I have been dealing with depression for about five years or so, its not just simply depression, it is a combination of lack of motivation, generally not being too fond of sober reality, my general environment, and the feeling that I could be doing a lot more to get in a happier spot. It can be a circular cycle, one thing feeding another.



From 13yrs to 18yrs you are going througs alot of chemical change, Hormons cause the chemestry in your brain to fluctuate you will go through alot of what emotions and physcial change. This is normal. I suggest you NOT add more chemicals at this time ie. Booze, Pot, Perscriptions. I suggest you begine some activity which causes you to sweat and detoxify. The activity is your choice. Exersise, Singing out loud, any thing that causes you to take deep breaths cleans your pulminary system. Even Screaming out loud and long can do this which also helps lessen stress.
 

I was anti-depressants for a while, all the sveral types I tried made me more depressed and even suicidal. Then I started to self-medicate myself with marijuana and smoke everyday up to 6x a day, but usually 3x a day or so. I did that for years. It gave me something to look foreward to day in and out, it gave me more desire for sex, which I also looked foreward to. Finally I reached a point a little over 3 months ago, and I said, "This is not getting me anywhere, my tolerence is huge, I have just been coasting and degenerating."



When you constantly change types of meds it FUCKS UP YOUR BODY! You should research the side affects of these meds and look into the withdrawl affects also.

I havent smoked weed since then, but I predict that I will probably do so in about 6 months. Since I stopped smoking weed I started drinking every night to fill that void and replace that feeling of looking foreward to something. I am reaching that same point with alcohol that I did with weed. Now I wonder what is next. Why is it that I can't get addicted to positive things like exercise and studying or reading? Am I just another addicted fated to get another addiction on a different drug, or start smoking weed and coasting even more?



You can get "addicted" to anything. I think that it is better to believe that you can change your habits and bring JOY to yourself in any way you CHOOSE. When we are happy we do what we can to keep it. Look for your Happiness. Pot makes you satisfied with doing nothing. Alcohol gets you drunk, fake happy. Until the morning.
 

I am only fucking 18 and I feel like I am disabled, like somebody had flipped the off switch on my energy levels, the only things I truly look foreward to right now is drinking, smoking weed one day again, sex (if I can get a girl who meets my high standards that I don't even live up to), eating, and sleeping and smoking cigarettes. I think I have dreams of going to college and becoming successful but sometimes I think I am just deceiving myself for self-preservation... What the fuck can I realistically do to get motivated to get some shit done. I know aderall would help beacuse it has in the past, but is that just another addiction?



Well you could do the perscribed speed but why?
May I suggest that you get rid of your tv turn off the computer no video games for at least two months, Read a book listen to all types of music, look at art, talk to people and give of yourself to others. You can become what you look forward to even if it is just a glimps right now you are so capable of being anything. Just make up your mind to do so.


Please comment and/or help.



I wish you all the luck.

Anone Must"

Ps. I believe there is nothing wrong with POT. I just think that if you are having problems detox and feel better then when you are ready. TOKE UP!

[Verbal Razors]

People that take asprin or coffee dont need to feel they are degenerating or going nowhere..
 Folks need to quit seeng marijuana as some negative drug
 Potheads that feel that its making them lazy and unmotivated are just lazy and unmotivated to begin with..
 Hell when I smoke weed, and even when I did heroin back in the day, it would make me clean, etc etc..
 Makes mundane tasks so much easier..
 I also think youll kinda grow out of the depression..you are just 18 and basically a confused ball of hormones.
 Also alot of depression is situational and when your situation changes so will the negative feelings..
 In ten years you wont be the same person you are now..
 Just like you are alot diffrent than when you were 8...
 And so on and so on...lighten up and smoke marijuana! Just say no to evil pharmachems

[Anonymous]

Start growing weed. This might sound strange, but it has become one of the best things in my life. You will rip apart your tolerance with some of the most potent strains around. It only cost a few hundred dollars to start up with a 400W light, and you can yield easily 8 ounces+ every two months. Start with one pack of seeds, and take it from there. Check out overgrow.com for all the information needed. Not only will it give you something to look forward to everyday, you get free bud. No risk of buying it anymore. You can even sell the extra to friends for spare change. Stop drinking right now, that shit is bad for you. If youre going to smoke, nothing is better than smoking your own homegrown. Nothing in the world like it. If I didn't have my small garden going all the time, I don't know what I would look forward to in the morning. Now I go check on my baby girls. Plus having good weed available whenever you want really keeps you off the harder shit you might get tempted by. I'm a former cokehead... but since I have good pot now, I don't feel the need for that shit anymore. If you live in a medical marijuana state, thats even better because you are legal and dont stress about the law. I'm in california and can have six plants, which is plenty. Okay enough about bud... as much as I love it. Oh one more thing... you can pick the strains and type you like. I love sativas. Really up high, you can smoke all day without getting tired and hungry.. trippy high. Dont find it ever from dealers, so another good reason to grow yourself is you can pick what you like the best. I love motivational sativas.
You gotta think to yourself .. just get through a few more years. 18 is a weird age... I was really crazy and weird and did all kind of strange things. By the time I was 22 I felt a lot more calm and in place with myself and shit. If youre not ready for college, dont sweat. You have the rest of your life... no pressure. Just live. If you can stay alive and not be a strung out fuck up on the street -- you're doing better than a lot of people!  :lol: Time will start bringing shit together, until then just be glad for whatever you have and try to make the best of it. Dont worry about being an addict with weed. I smoked everyday for a year, and left town for a month and didn't feel anything. You can't get a weed addiction... its a gift from the gods, it truly is.
Other ideas for energy.. motivation: start walking/running.. start a fun sport or something.. get a dog... SMOKE MASSIVE BOWLS! lol
good luck dude, dont worry things get better.

[Antigen]

On 2005-12-25 12:32:00, Anonymous wrote:

You gotta think to yourself .. just get through a few more years. 18 is a weird age... I was really crazy and weird and did all kind of strange things. By the time I was 22 I felt a lot more calm and in place with myself

Come to think of it, me too. Crazy when I think of it. At 18, I was free of all entanglements, could have gone anywhere, done anything. I just forgot to think about it. I shit you not, I got so caught up in things I actually forgot how I had planned to go long distance hiking in the mountains till after I was way too tied down to do it. Still waiting. Don't you wait! Just take some time and think of all the things you have always wanted to do when you grew up and consider avoiding wreckless entanglements that might close those doors.

I don't think that a drug that creates euphoria in patients with terminal diseases is having an adverse effect.
--San Francisco oncologist & AIDS doctor, Donald Abrams, M.D.

[Anonymous]

Don't get me wrong -- I LOVE kind bud, but sometimes you just need a fucking DRINK, y'know what I mean? :question:

[Antigen]

Yeah, I think maybe I can wrap my mind around that. Leme see... maybe after the next one it'll all come clear...

brb...

The world is so exquisite, with so much love and moral depth, that there is no reason to deceive ourselves with pretty stories for which there's no good evidence. Far better, it seems to me, to look death in the eye and to be grateful every day for the brief but magnificent opportunity that life provides.
--Carl Sagan

[Anonymous]

Cheers, sister. ::cheers::

I wish I had more to drink RIGHT NOW, but all I have is tbpitw...it'll have to do.

[Anonymous]

This is the same person who posted the topic, Anone Must. I was thinking about my post and the nice replies people posted. I have come to a few conclusions about my depression and lack of energy.

It has become clear that yes, I probably am a raging ball of hormones and I am experiencing some normal mindsets and feelings. I now sort of laugh at how helpless I made my post sound, like the world was going after me (it probably is in a few ways). It is also clear that: what else is there to look foreward to in life besides drugs, sex, sleeping, eating, dreaming, socializing, and other stuff like hiking ect.? Maybe I am expecting too much out of life: like it is supposed to be some ultra-idealistic pleasure land. I just need large doses of amphetamines to solve any and all problems that I have with not feeling like I have enough energy. I will get so UP that I will have a nice contrast to being DOWN. Yes... amphetamines and cocaine, my new friends...

Anone Must

note: I am somewhat joking about the amphetamines and Chronicles of Riddick is a kick-ass movie even though Vin Diesels sex preference might be off, we will just leave that up to the tabloids...

[sammiegirl]

I believe that if I have an ailment I should try smoking a joint first, I also believe that it makes me happy to do nothing when I smoke, Which is a change for me cause I usualy bounce all day and night.
I will say that METH HEROINE ect are dangerous. As are PROZAC DEPACOTE and the likes. NOT NUTURAL.
WEED IS NATURAL!!!  :silly:
IT SHOULD BE LEGAL!!! :smile: You are going to do great things in life as long as you want too.