Good lord! What if Ashley and Alex get married one day and have kids? Families, and that includes potential families, can't take back some things. Caught in the Middle, I really think you should just refrain from any contact at all if you can't be civil to the 17 year old who is trying to find her way in this world. She fought for a cause and someone she cared about. At 17, I wish I had been that committed to something. I really admire this girl. You are the adult. It is not fair that Ashley put herself out there and is now being dissected online for the world to see, she deserves a little more respect than that. And if she ends up being your niece one day and the mother of Alex's kids, you are going to wish you'd bitten your tongue. You're writing in all caps and slamming her like some kind of preteen gathering her friends into a circle so everyone can watch them cuss each other out while they "oooh" and "aaah".
Ashley, you didn't deserve any of that. You also shouldn't have to see your mom bashed, either. Remember, people, this girl is mature but she's still a teen in high school. Let's have some standard for decency.