Jay McGraw was working on a weight loss show based on his and Dr. Phil's books, The Ultimate Weight Solution, when he had a harrowing experience. "One of the people who we're following is Vikki and Travis. For a number of months, they've been concerned about their son, Justin," Jay recounts. "They just didn't know what was going on, but something wasn't right."
The couples' fears were confirmed when they found Justin passed out on his bed, surrounded by drug paraphernalia. Vikki made a plea for help, and Jay decided to take action. "I called my dad and said, 'You know what to do. You've got to help these people,'" Jay recalls. "And he said, 'You know I'll be right there. It's time for me to make a house call.' And that's exactly what he did."
Dr. Phil stands outside Vikki and Travis' suburban home in Southern California. "You see, there's actually a picket fence, green grass, a nice looking house. But two hours ago, Vikki found out her son was seriously involved in drugs, picked up the phone and I'm here. Time for a house call," he announces, walking up to the front door.
Dr. Phil knocks at the door and a stunned Vikki answers. After the introductions have been made, he says, "We've gotten kind of an emergency call on y'all's behalf tonight."
Resignedly, she says, "Yeah, it's been one of those days."
"I don't do house calls in the middle of the night, but I guess when Jay calls, he thinks an awful lot of you folks," Dr. Phil says.
He sits down with the couple to discuss the future of their 16-year-old son, Justin. "He's not going to the regular school. He's going to independent study?" Dr. Phil clarifies.
"Right. Today, he was supposed to show up for school this morning to do his weekly check-in, and he didn't show up," Vikki reports. "His dad ended up coming over here this afternoon and found him sleeping. When he went into his room, he also found drug paraphernalia next to his bed, which was the confirmation that he was doing drugs."
"How do you feel about this?" Dr. Phil asks.
"Horrified," she replies, explaining that Justin was getting distant and having trouble waking up for school. "I had no idea," she says. "I had suspicions, but I had no confirmation."
Turning to her husband, Dr. Phil says, "You have no doubt, Travis, that he's on drugs."
"That's correct."
"Are you mad at yourself?" Dr. Phil probes. When Vikki says yes, he asks, "When do you think it started?"
"He had a cousin who died, and after that, he started wearing different clothes," Travis explains. "He went from everything about sports to everything about music. It seemed like overnight."
"Where's he getting the money for this stuff?" Dr. Phil wants to know.
Vikki says she's clueless. "I've asked him about that ... if someone's giving it to him. If he's doing something else to get it. He's not working."
"So he may be pushing," Dr. Phil theorizes.
"He could possibly. That's the only way I think he can get it."
Dr. Phil breaks down some tough scenarios for the couple. "He's either doing crime; he's either out stealing stuff and selling it ? or hawking it ? or he's getting 10 units, selling five to pay for his five. Which means he's pushing," he says.
"Right," Vikki says.
"He's admitted to pot and speed. You found a pipe. You haven't just been passive about this," Dr. Phil praises the couple. "When he has been non-compliant ? when he hasn't done the things that he needed to do ? you've grounded him. You've taken away privileges. You've taken away access to the electronics that he buys."
Vikki agrees. "Computer, cars, everything," she says.
They've even gone so far as to take Justin's bedroom door off the hinges, but to no avail. "Why do you think none of that's worked?" Dr. Phil asks.
"That I don't know. That's why I feel so helpless," Vikki mourns.
Travis chimes in, "Every time you do something, like discipline-wise, he just turns around and thinks it's like no big deal," he reveals.
"If you just keep grounding him, just keep taking his computer away ... how's that working for you?" Dr. Phil inquires.
"Not at all," Vikki says, wiping away a tear.
Dr. Phil wants the couple to understand the gravity of the situation. "Your son's a drug addict. It's not the kid down the street," he says.
"I know," Vikki says.
"What do you think's going to happen if you keep trying to manage him by grounding him or taking away his Xbox?"
Vikki ponders Dr. Phil's question. "He's going to end up killing himself, or killing someone else," she replies.
"Do you want to know why grounding him didn't help? Why taking the door off its hinges, why taking the computer, car, Xbox, Nintendo ? all of those things haven't worked? Because you're not dealing with Justin anymore," Dr. Phil explains. "You're dealing with the drug at this point. He's not here. He checked out. That's not your son up there in his room; that's a drug addict. His brain is altered. His personality is altered. His being is altered. You're not talking to Justin."
"That's true."
"I've been doing this for 30 years, and based on the facts that I know from y'all, he's out of control," Dr. Phil warns. "The question I wanted to ask you is, what do you think's going to happen if you just continue on like this?"
"Oh God," Vikki says, in terror.
"There are moments, there are times, when you step up as a parent, and you make critical decisions that can determine the outcome of your child's life. You are at the precipice. You are at the threshold, and you can go left and his life is over, or you can go right and his life continues," Dr. Phil warns. "This is one of those times where you've got to make a critical decision. And the first critical decision I want you to make, is to say, 'I cannot change what I've done or not done thus far.'"
Dr. Phil doesn't want Vikki to blame herself for Justin's drug use. "You're thinking, 'How dumb can I be?' Well, you know how dumb you are? You're as dumb as a mother who loves her son. You've been looking through a filter where you so didn't want to see it. You so didn't want to have to deal with it. You so didn't want to have it be true that you just didn't see it. And you are so mad at yourself right now you could just spit, right?"
"Yeah."
"What I'm telling you is that's over. The only time is now. That's number one. Number two, you've got to say, 'No more denial. This child is addicted to drugs,'" Dr. Phil tells her. "It doesn't mean he's an evil child. It doesn't mean you need to disown him, or hate him, or put him away, or do anything. The child needs guidance. We need to get up off these stools, and we need to go up those stairs, and we need to knock on that boy's door, and we need to take control of his life."
Dr. Phil tells the couple that he has plans in place for a drug intervention. "I got on the phone and called
La Hacienda in Texas. La Hacienda is, in my view, the number one drug rehabilitation program in America. And Rich Whitman is the director. He's on a plane to L.A. right now to take Justin back with him tomorrow."
"OK," Vikki says.
"If you elect to do this, I'm going to tell you how long he's going to be there. He's going to be there until. He's going to be there until he is detoxified. He's going to there until he is rehabilitated. He's going to be there until he has a clarity of thought, mind, purpose and spirit that gives him a chance to succeed when he gets out," Dr. Phil explains.
When Vikki thanks him, Dr. Phil says, "There is one singular purpose, and that is to save your boy's life. I believe, if you leave him like he is, he's going to kill himself or somebody else. And in the best case scenario, he's going to wind up in jail. If he wants to go [to treatment], that's great. Then we'll seize that opportunity and we'll take him. If he doesn't want to go, he needs to go anyway. It's just not an option. That's the plan that I have to offer you. I'm not forcing it on you, but I am offering it to you."
Vikki agrees to go up to Justin's room and begin the healing process.
Back in the studio, Dr. Phil commends Jay for taking action on Justin's behalf. "It was a very, very serious situation, and you've helped people in crisis before," Jay points out. "But this was unique to me because Vikki called and said, 'We just found out, and we absolutely don't know what to do.'"
Dr. Phil elaborates. "You knew them in another context, because you're executive producing a series," he says. "And they're a part of that series. So you had met them in a totally unrelated scenario."
Jay admits that the situation was an eye-opener for him. "You see this great family that does the best they can to do everything right, and is absolutely in crisis," he says. "I don't know the answers, but I know somebody who does."
"I was glad you called," Dr. Phil says.
"You see people on TV, and you say, 'OK, that's a family dealing with this problem.' But I know these people. I know that they are absolutely as normal as it gets," Jay says. "You pull up to their house and it looks like suburbia. And you would never guess that in the second window on the right upstairs, there is a kid that is screaming for help, because he's got a severe drug problem."
"Well, these things are highly unpredictable," Dr. Phil acknowledges.
Dr. Phil and Vikki stand outside Justin's bedroom door. When she expresses trepidation, Dr. Phil says, "What are you so afraid of?"
"I'm afraid of everything right now. How he's going to react, what's going to happen to him. I think I'm more afraid of, if I don't do this, what's going to happen to him." Bracing herself, she says. "Let's do it."
A disheveled Justin answers her knock. After the introductions have been made, Dr. Phil says, "You've gotten involved with drugs, right?"
"Yup."
"So what drugs are you doing?"
"Mostly just smoke weed, but I tried speed a few times," Justin mumbles. "One of the times I did, I got caught."
"So what were you smoking today?" Dr. Phil probes.
"That was speed," he says, explaining that he bought the drugs from a friend.
"Do you think it's affecting you? Think it's affecting your life?"
"Not necessarily," Justin says. "I'm not, like, out of control with it."
Dr. Phil wants to get the facts straight. "So you're smoking dope, and you're doing speed. Have you done any crack?"
"Why would I do crack?"
"Why would you do speed?" Dr. Phil counters.
"Because it calms me down," Justin says.
"So what do you predict is going to happen?"
"What would happen? It's just the way things are," he says incoherently.
Vikki steps in. "I can't let you go on like this, OK? I want my son back," she pleads with Justin. "I don't want something to happen to you. I don't want you to hurt yourself. I don't want you to hurt anybody else. I want you to be successful. I want you to have the things in life you deserve. And this is no way to go about it. And obviously, I couldn't help you on my own, so these guys have all graciously offered. And we talked about it downstairs. They're going to be taking you to a treatment center."
Travis chimes in, "It's going to help you get clean."
When Justin covers his face with his hand, Vikki says, "We're all hurting. It's OK ... You've hurt everybody. You've hurt yourself. But that's going to stop, alright? Do you want to get help?"
"Yeah," Justin answers. "I'll go to the treatment just to prove that I'm committed to staying clean."
Dr. Phil admires Justin's attitude. "This is not punishment. This is not going to jail," he reassures the teen. "You've gotten into a lifestyle and a life pattern that is putting you at jeopardy. I think you'll have a chance to really focus on you, and decide what you want to do and get you clean from the drugs. Because I've seen something in your eyes when they flicker up out of that hair once in a while. And that is, I got a feeling you don't particularly like the direction you're headed."
Justin agrees. "I'm just not sure what I should've done before."
Dr. Phil says that Justin is receiving a second chance. "This is your chance to get your feet on the ground, get real focused on what you want to do and get this turned around in short order." He acknowledges that the recovery process won't be easy. "I don't know whether you'll be there for three weeks, or a month, or five weeks ?you do it until you and they say, 'We're good.'"
"All right," Justin says. "Sounds good."
"I think you're going to find this is an exciting chapter in your life," Dr. Phil says. "It would give your mother great peace, and it would give you great opportunity."
Dr. Rich Whitman, director of operations at La Hacienda Treatment Center, and his daughter, Nicole, pay Vikki a visit. Dr. Whitman wants to allay Vikki's fears about the recovery process. "No communication during this time until you say so?" she asks him.
"He'll be working through some different levels, but yes, there is communication," Dr. Whitman assures her. "He'll get phone calls, you can definitely send him letters. There's also a piece called family week."
Dr. Whitman explains that he had to place his own daughter, Nicole, into a treatment program. "It was difficult. I'm not going to subject your son to anything that I have not, or would not, subject my own children to," he vows. "It's very obvious that there's a problem. From this day forward, what I'd like to tell everybody here is that we're going to quit focusing on the problem, because there's no solution there. If we can start to focus on the solution, the bigger the solution will get."
When Travis wonders if there are steps in place to keep Justin from relapsing, Nicole says, "It's a continuous program. You do it every day, like you work a step every day for yourself to stay sober. Everyone works in their own program, and focuses on the problems for that day."
Vikki acknowledges that no treatment program is infallible, but says, "I'm basically worried about getting my son back. Is that an option?"
"It's not only an option, I can assure you, if you guys will do what we ask you to do, it's a promise," Dr. Whitman says.
Nicole adds, "The worst thing to step in there with is expectations. Just walk in there with an open mind and willingness to do what you're told, and accept everything how it is, and you'll be good to go."
Turning to Justin, Dr. Whitman says, "Pack your suitcases. We have a flight set up."
As Justin prepares to leave for La Hacienda, he says, "I'm still not sure if I'm excited, worried or nervous. It should be an interesting experience."
"I'm excited that he's so willing," Vikki says.
Justin expresses gratitude to Dr. Phil. "I just want to thank you for this opportunity. You're a lot better of a guy than I thought, and I appreciate it," he says.
Vikki and Travis join Dr. Phil and Jay on stage. "How are you doing?" Dr. Phil asks her.
"I'm alright," she says tearfully. "It's the first time I've seen him in two weeks, so it's hard."
"What was the hardest thing about doing this?" Dr. Phil asks.
"The hardest thing was not knowing what to do once we, you know, found out that he was doing drugs," she says. "I called Jay because I had no clue. I didn't know where to even begin. So, I mean, getting the help from you guys was absolutely amazing."
"Why is this your fault?" Dr. Phil asks her.
"I guess I'm blaming myself because I didn't see it. It makes me feel bad that I didn't know."
8 of 10 Forward
Back in the studio, Dr. Phil commends Jay for taking action on Justin's behalf. "It was a very, very serious situation, and you've helped people in crisis before," Jay points out. "But this was unique to me because Vikki called and said, 'We just found out, and we absolutely don't know what to do.'"
Dr. Phil elaborates. "You knew them in another context, because you're executive producing a series," he says. "And they're a part of that series. So you had met them in a totally unrelated scenario."
Jay admits that the situation was an eye-opener for him. "You see this great family that does the best they can to do everything right, and is absolutely in crisis," he says. "I don't know the answers, but I know somebody who does."
"I was glad you called," Dr. Phil says.
"You see people on TV, and you say, 'OK, that's a family dealing with this problem.' But I know these people. I know that they are absolutely as normal as it gets," Jay says. "You pull up to their house and it looks like suburbia. And you would never guess that in the second window on the right upstairs, there is a kid that is screaming for help, because he's got a severe drug problem."
"Well, these things are highly unpredictable," Dr. Phil acknowledges.
Dr. Phil and Vikki stand outside Justin's bedroom door. When she expresses trepidation, Dr. Phil says, "What are you so afraid of?"
"I'm afraid of everything right now. How he's going to react, what's going to happen to him. I think I'm more afraid of, if I don't do this, what's going to happen to him." Bracing herself, she says. "Let's do it."
A disheveled Justin answers her knock. After the introductions have been made, Dr. Phil says, "You've gotten involved with drugs, right?"
"Yup."
"So what drugs are you doing?"
"Mostly just smoke weed, but I tried speed a few times," Justin mumbles. "One of the times I did, I got caught."
"So what were you smoking today?" Dr. Phil probes.
"That was speed," he says, explaining that he bought the drugs from a friend.
"Do you think it's affecting you? Think it's affecting your life?"
"Not necessarily," Justin says. "I'm not, like, out of control with it."
Dr. Phil wants to get the facts straight. "So you're smoking dope, and you're doing speed. Have you done any crack?"
"Why would I do crack?"
"Why would you do speed?" Dr. Phil counters.
"Because it calms me down," Justin says.
"So what do you predict is going to happen?"
"What would happen? It's just the way things are," he says incoherently.
Vikki steps in. "I can't let you go on like this, OK? I want my son back," she pleads with Justin. "I don't want something to happen to you. I don't want you to hurt yourself. I don't want you to hurt anybody else. I want you to be successful. I want you to have the things in life you deserve. And this is no way to go about it. And obviously, I couldn't help you on my own, so these guys have all graciously offered. And we talked about it downstairs. They're going to be taking you to a treatment center."
Travis chimes in, "It's going to help you get clean."
When Justin covers his face with his hand, Vikki says, "We're all hurting. It's OK ... You've hurt everybody. You've hurt yourself. But that's going to stop, alright? Do you want to get help?"
"Yeah," Justin answers. "I'll go to the treatment just to prove that I'm committed to staying clean."
Dr. Phil admires Justin's attitude. "This is not punishment. This is not going to jail," he reassures the teen. "You've gotten into a lifestyle and a life pattern that is putting you at jeopardy. I think you'll have a chance to really focus on you, and decide what you want to do and get you clean from the drugs. Because I've seen something in your eyes when they flicker up out of that hair once in a while. And that is, I got a feeling you don't particularly like the direction you're headed."
Justin agrees. "I'm just not sure what I should've done before."
Dr. Phil says that Justin is receiving a second chance. "This is your chance to get your feet on the ground, get real focused on what you want to do and get this turned around in short order." He acknowledges that the recovery process won't be easy. "I don't know whether you'll be there for three weeks, or a month, or five weeks ?you do it until you and they say, 'We're good.'"
"All right," Justin says. "Sounds good."
"I think you're going to find this is an exciting chapter in your life," Dr. Phil says. "It would give your mother great peace, and it would give you great opportunity."
Dr. Rich Whitman, director of operations at La Hacienda Treatment Center, and his daughter, Nicole, pay Vikki a visit. Dr. Whitman wants to allay Vikki's fears about the recovery process. "No communication during this time until you say so?" she asks him.
"He'll be working through some different levels, but yes, there is communication," Dr. Whitman assures her. "He'll get phone calls, you can definitely send him letters. There's also a piece called family week."
Dr. Whitman explains that he had to place his own daughter, Nicole, into a treatment program. "It was difficult. I'm not going to subject your son to anything that I have not, or would not, subject my own children to," he vows. "It's very obvious that there's a problem. From this day forward, what I'd like to tell everybody here is that we're going to quit focusing on the problem, because there's no solution there. If we can start to focus on the solution, the bigger the solution will get."
When Travis wonders if there are steps in place to keep Justin from relapsing, Nicole says, "It's a continuous program. You do it every day, like you work a step every day for yourself to stay sober. Everyone works in their own program, and focuses on the problems for that day."
Vikki acknowledges that no treatment program is infallible, but says, "I'm basically worried about getting my son back. Is that an option?"
"It's not only an option, I can assure you, if you guys will do what we ask you to do, it's a promise," Dr. Whitman says.
Nicole adds, "The worst thing to step in there with is expectations. Just walk in there with an open mind and willingness to do what you're told, and accept everything how it is, and you'll be good to go."
Turning to Justin, Dr. Whitman says, "Pack your suitcases. We have a flight set up."
As Justin prepares to leave for La Hacienda, he says, "I'm still not sure if I'm excited, worried or nervous. It should be an interesting experience."
"I'm excited that he's so willing," Vikki says.
Justin expresses gratitude to Dr. Phil. "I just want to thank you for this opportunity. You're a lot better of a guy than I thought, and I appreciate it," he says.
Vikki and Travis join Dr. Phil and Jay on stage. "How are you doing?" Dr. Phil asks her.
"I'm alright," she says tearfully. "It's the first time I've seen him in two weeks, so it's hard."
"What was the hardest thing about doing this?" Dr. Phil asks.
"The hardest thing was not knowing what to do once we, you know, found out that he was doing drugs," she says. "I called Jay because I had no clue. I didn't know where to even begin. So, I mean, getting the help from you guys was absolutely amazing."
"Why is this your fault?" Dr. Phil asks her.
"I guess I'm blaming myself because I didn't see it. It makes me feel bad that I didn't know."
"What did you say to Jay when you called him?" Dr. Phil enquires.
"I was just devastated. I knew he works with teens and such, and so, I called just asking him could he just direct me somewhere."
Jay says, "I think it's interesting because, you know, when you bring it into such clarity, it's like, 'Well how could she miss it?'"
"Well, you've heard that expression about love being blind. It's like nobody wants to think that their child is doing something like this," Vikki admits.
"Did you do the right thing?" Dr. Phil asks.
"I'm going to say yes, I did the right thing. It's the best for Justin, but am I still having doubts, and are there still things running through my mind? Yeah."
Dr. Phil wonders if Vikki has thought about the changes she needs to make when her son returns home. "That's what I'm still trying to figure out," she confesses. "As a teenager, how do you watch him 24/7?"
"Are you willing to do some homework to get ready for him to come home?" Dr. Phil asks. "Because Jay has written a book called Closing the Gap, and it is a book about teens."
Jay gives more detail. "The whole premise in Closing the Gap is that you know their world. Everything from the music that they listen to, the TV shows that they watch to the friends that they hang out with," he explains. "When you get into such a fact-based scenario where you know everything that's going on, then it's harder and harder and harder to hide things ... The more involved in his life you are, the more a sense of him feeling, 'I can't let my parents down.' A lot of the things I talk about in Closing the Gap, help you form that relationship."
Dr. Phil explains the importance of family meetings in Justin's recovery process. "When you say to [your daughter] Jessica and Justin, 'We're going to sit down and have a family meeting every Sunday afternoon,' they're going to roll their eyes, and 'oh mother.' And all of that, but when they roll their eyes, it doesn't turn off their ears," he stresses.
Turning to Jessica in the audience, Dr. Phil says, "You would do this for yourself, and for your brother, and your mom's peace of mind, your stepdad's peace of mind, so people know what's going on, right?"
She says yes.
Dr. Phil turns to Dr. Frank Lawlis, chairman of the Dr. Phil advisory board. "What's the update on Justin at this point, two weeks into the mission?
"They're so excited about his enthusiasm. He's really taking hold in that program, and he's really doing tremendously," Dr. Lawlis reports proudly. "He's embraced it. He's being honest. He's really making full use of that program. This is a very fine young man. He's smart, and he's motivated and he's going to be a winner!"
Vikki poses a question to Dr. Lawlis. "How am I supposed to help him? How am I supposed to recognize, you know, if something's wrong?"
"Those things will be planned out. You'll be very involved with that. There'll be some very definite steps in terms of his program," Dr. Lawlis says with certainty. "He's a very smart boy. He knows what he needs to do."
"You're going to be involved in the family aspects of that rehabilitation ? where you learn what to do, what to say, what to make him responsible for," Dr. Phil tells Vikki. "You can't do it for him. You didn't chose these drugs, and you can't choose to keep him off drugs. That's his choice. But what we have to do is help him, support him, and all of that's going to start with your involvement in what's going on."
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my favorite quote "Dr. Phil breaks down some tough scenarios for the couple. "He's either doing crime; he's either out stealing stuff and selling it ? or hawking it ? or he's getting 10 units, selling five to pay for his five. Which means he's pushing," he says.
"Right," Vikki says." :lol:
