Treatment Abuse, Behavior Modification, Thought Reform > World Wide Association of Specialty Programs and Schools (WWASPS)
Losers!
Anonymous:
Desperate MOM,
Ive been where you are .We went the RTC route and it was the biggest mistake. If I could do it over and difeerntly I would tell the kid to go if he wants to.
The moment he knows you are not going tobe worrying yourself over his decision ,he may get it. Some times it takes maturing . i know this is a scary concept to detach and allow the kid to do as he wants(not in your house)hell be back.Sooner than you realize. Stop worrying and hell be ok.
I wish more than I can say I had just let my son do as he thought he wanted to do.He would have been fine. He was seriously hurt in the "school" went sent him to for "HELP."
Try Alonon they help you learn to detach with love. I've seen it work with parnets whose kids were using substances and they were worried to desperation. Dont do any thing really, really dumb.
Anonymous:
Can't legally let the kid go unless he is 17. Before that parents are liable for any and all criminal activity and can be charged for the crimes or abandonment.
Anonymous:
--- Quote ---On 2005-12-10 06:30:00, Anonymous wrote:
"Can't legally let the kid go unless he is 17. Before that parents are liable for any and all criminal activity and can be charged for the crimes or abandonment."
--- End quote ---
Well you better lock them up fast, before YOU get in trouble! :roll:
AtomicAnt:
--- Quote ---On 2005-12-09 13:44:00, famjaztique wrote:
"I had had such a conversation with him and thought we had come to a mutual agreement. It wasn't a few hours later when he took off and he is still missing. There is a whole group of kids that are covering for this one kid. He has now been gone (my son) since last night with no contact. I've notified police, all other parents that I know of, and have toured the town, made visits to his friends houses, and went to the local mall and all other hangouts. He was last seen this morning with the kid. I have given him every choice to make decisions with me. And I know he does feel empathy towards this kid who has run away, but he isn't going about it even remotely responsibly.
And don't forget that we live in an age where parents are held responsible for their kids behavior. Even on this forum! So I could very well be looking at DSS invading our home because of his actions. And because I think he might have an emotional disorder that has not yet been uncovered, I am extremely worried what he would do in a foster care or juvenile situation.
When I started looking into RTC's, which is how I landed here, I was hoping to find something that would provide very tight structure with a therapeutic element. He's refusing to see his therapist, who he LIKES, refusing to try medications, and refusing to enter into compromises with me. He is rapidly removing all of our choices. I could take the stance that he just needs to outgrow the phase...well that didn't happen with his father. I could try more freedom....already done it. I could try policing him...doesn't work. He waits for the first moment he knows that I'm busy, i.e. HAVE to go to work or class eventually, and need to care for his sister as well. Grounding doesn't work. I've offered alternative schools of his choosing, including homeschooling, which he is clearly blowing off by taking off.
This is where parents get desparate. And I am."
--- End quote ---
Based on all of your posts in this topic, one thing is obvious. In spite of your son's behavior, you are still very much a valued part of his life. You are providing his anchor and safety net through all of this. In fact, you are apparently the only anchor and safety net he has. His father is not present and you have not mentioned any extended family involvement.
Keep in mind that if you send him to a facility that limits or prevents his contact with you, you be removing the only solid adult in his life and the only solid thing he has left to stand on. Such an act would be traumatic and could damage his ability to trust and relate to other people for the rest of his life. I would imagine he is not happy to have one parent absence himself. I cannot imagine how removing the other one (even temporarily) could possibly help.
BuzzKill:
Your so right Atomic Ant - but from my experience, I can suggest what a parent with a run away is most concerned with is keeping them safe - keeping them alive. When you are living in fear of what might happen to your kid who is out in the "wilderness" you just feel desperate to get them in a situation where they can't run off. Home isn't it. But still, you are right, and your advice is sound, and if this mom does decide she needs an RTC - I hope it will be one close to home and that she will be visiting very frequently.
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