Looking for alternative to Hyde School

[Anonymous]

I just noticed that several people on this website are trying to find alternatives to Hyde. I completely understand, given our dreadful experience with Hyde thus far.

Coincidentally, our family decided to leave Hyde and just returned from our visit to another school.  For a long time we've had serious misgivings about Hyde, and they've gotten more and more severe.  Like so many others on this website, we have become so concerned about Hyde's cult-like qualities, the inferior education, the staff's simplistic views of students' struggles, and the school's refusal to build serious mental health services into the program.  So many Hyde kids are being poorly served.  We're so relieved to find so many other people who feel the same way we do about Hyde.  It's good that the word is spreading.

Anyway, we now feel even more strongly having just visited another school this weekend.  We can't believe the difference -- staff were incredibly kind, supportive, well informed, and reasonable.  We felt like we encountered fresh air the minute we set foot on the campus.  In contrast to Hyde -- where everyone seems to talk from the same set of cliches and pat phrases -- at this other school we felt like we were talking with well meaning, decent, candid human beings.  We felt relaxed for the first time in years.  At Hyde we feel judged every minute of every conversation.  At this other school we could let down our guard.  AND, the staff at this other school clearly understand that sometimes students struggle because of their mental health issues. They have a thoughtful, well coordinated, sensible way to address these issues -- and they too pay close attention to students' character and attitudes, but not in the destructive, confrontational way that Hyde does.  We had the opportunity to talk with other parents, some of whom have been at Hyde.  They confirmed what we experienced about the differences.  

We simply didn't know that other schools approach students so much more intelligently than Hyde does.  We went to Hyde in a panic, and now we're really sorry we didn't take the time to check in with a well informed educational consultant.  Now we know there are some really good alternatives to Hyde.  

(I'm not comfortable at this point saying too much about our plans or the other schools we've looked at.  The word around Hyde is that if they find out you're thinking about leaving they'll put on the full court press and confront you aggressively about your "attitude" problem.  I don't want the grief at this point.)

[Anonymous]

On 2005-10-23 15:53:00, Anonymous wrote:

"I just noticed that several people on this website are trying to find alternatives to Hyde. I completely understand, given our dreadful experience with Hyde thus far.



Coincidentally, our family decided to leave Hyde and just returned from our visit to another school.  For a long time we've had serious misgivings about Hyde, and they've gotten more and more severe.  Like so many others on this website, we have become so concerned about Hyde's cult-like qualities, the inferior education, the staff's simplistic views of students' struggles, and the school's refusal to build serious mental health services into the program.  So many Hyde kids are being poorly served.  We're so relieved to find so many other people who feel the same way we do about Hyde.  It's good that the word is spreading.



Anyway, we now feel even more strongly having just visited another school this weekend.  We can't believe the difference -- staff were incredibly kind, supportive, well informed, and reasonable.  We felt like we encountered fresh air the minute we set foot on the campus.  In contrast to Hyde -- where everyone seems to talk from the same set of cliches and pat phrases -- at this other school we felt like we were talking with well meaning, decent, candid human beings.  We felt relaxed for the first time in years.  At Hyde we feel judged every minute of every conversation.  At this other school we could let down our guard.  AND, the staff at this other school clearly understand that sometimes students struggle because of their mental health issues. They have a thoughtful, well coordinated, sensible way to address these issues -- and they too pay close attention to students' character and attitudes, but not in the destructive, confrontational way that Hyde does.  We had the opportunity to talk with other parents, some of whom have been at Hyde.  They confirmed what we experienced about the differences.  



We simply didn't know that other schools approach students so much more intelligently than Hyde does.  We went to Hyde in a panic, and now we're really sorry we didn't take the time to check in with a well informed educational consultant.  Now we know there are some really good alternatives to Hyde.  



(I'm not comfortable at this point saying too much about our plans or the other schools we've looked at.  The word around Hyde is that if they find out you're thinking about leaving they'll put on the full court press and confront you aggressively about your "attitude" problem.  I don't want the grief at this point.)"

These are very helpful comments.  They support our family's decision to leave Hyde.  Thank you very much for your insights.

[Anonymous]

You talk about what would happen at Hyde should they suspect you are thinking of leaving.  The parents don't get nearly as much grief and abuse as the kids.  Hyde totally puts undue pressure on the kids if you announce you might be looking for an alternative to Hyde.  You are right that they will accuse you of having an attitude problem and make your life a living hell!  Not worth it.  You are better off keeping your thought hidden! Please tell me this is not the sign of a Cult!!!  You can't tell me because Hyde DOES operate like a Cult!

[tommyfromhyde1]

The previous poster is right that they'll take it out on your kid.
Sometime around November of '76 I started getting treated worse than usual.
I found out later that that was when they tried the donation pitch on my dad and were rebuffed.

so long as the priest, that professional negator, slanderer and poisoner of life, is regarded as a superior type of human being, there cannot be any answer to the question: What is truth?
--Freidrich Nietzsche, German philosopher

[Anonymous]

On 2005-10-29 16:09:00, Anonymous wrote:

"

On 2005-10-23 15:53:00, Anonymous wrote:


"I just noticed that several people on this website are trying to find alternatives to Hyde. I completely understand, given our dreadful experience with Hyde thus far.





Coincidentally, our family decided to leave Hyde and just returned from our visit to another school.  For a long time we've had serious misgivings about Hyde, and they've gotten more and more severe.  Like so many others on this website, we have become so concerned about Hyde's cult-like qualities, the inferior education, the staff's simplistic views of students' struggles, and the school's refusal to build serious mental health services into the program.  So many Hyde kids are being poorly served.  We're so relieved to find so many other people who feel the same way we do about Hyde.  It's good that the word is spreading.





Anyway, we now feel even more strongly having just visited another school this weekend.  We can't believe the difference -- staff were incredibly kind, supportive, well informed, and reasonable.  We felt like we encountered fresh air the minute we set foot on the campus.  In contrast to Hyde -- where everyone seems to talk from the same set of cliches and pat phrases -- at this other school we felt like we were talking with well meaning, decent, candid human beings.  We felt relaxed for the first time in years.  At Hyde we feel judged every minute of every conversation.  At this other school we could let down our guard.  AND, the staff at this other school clearly understand that sometimes students struggle because of their mental health issues. They have a thoughtful, well coordinated, sensible way to address these issues -- and they too pay close attention to students' character and attitudes, but not in the destructive, confrontational way that Hyde does.  We had the opportunity to talk with other parents, some of whom have been at Hyde.  They confirmed what we experienced about the differences.  





We simply didn't know that other schools approach students so much more intelligently than Hyde does.  We went to Hyde in a panic, and now we're really sorry we didn't take the time to check in with a well informed educational consultant.  Now we know there are some really good alternatives to Hyde.  





(I'm not comfortable at this point saying too much about our plans or the other schools we've looked at.  The word around Hyde is that if they find out you're thinking about leaving they'll put on the full court press and confront you aggressively about your "attitude" problem.  I don't want the grief at this point.)"

These are very helpful comments.  They support our family's decision to leave Hyde.  Thank you very much for your insights."

I agree.  These comments echo our sentiments exactly.  Our family was quite naive when we enrolled at Hyde some years ago.  We accepted the admissions rhetoric hook, line and sinker.  After a couple of months we realized we had made a horrible mistake.  We quickly encountered many examples of Hyde's hypocrisy.  We saw arrogance when the staff preached humility.  We saw cruelty when the staff preached respect.  We saw judgmentalism when the staff preached character.  I'll never forget the first and second time I heard Joe Gauld speak.  There he was standing in front of the room extolling Hyde's virtues while talking down to people, judging them, patronizing parents, and being provocative.  The hypocrisy was so obvious -- many people sitting around me commented on it.  Why people stay at Hyde is beyond me.  My guess is that parents don't know how many other healthier schools exist or they're so desperate and needy that they're seduced by Hyde.

[Anonymous]

I'm reading these postings in almost disbelief. These parents are paying thousands of dollars to this school that they dislike,and which appears to be ABUSIVE--- yet they  tip-toe-around like they are afraid to remove their child and STOP paying tuitition to a SCHOOL they are dissatified with? What's the deal?

[Anonymous]

On 2005-11-02 22:56:00, Anonymous wrote:

"I'm reading these postings in almost disbelief. These parents are paying thousands of dollars to this school that they dislike,and which appears to be ABUSIVE--- yet they  tip-toe-around like they are afraid to remove their child and STOP paying tuitition to a SCHOOL they are dissatified with? What's the deal?"

Too often, I think, Hyde parents are struggling so hard to deal with their own issues (mental health, substance abuse, marital, etc.) and are so relieved that their child is in a structured program that they're willing to overlook and ignore Hyde's serious shortcomings.  Also, these parents often don't have any emotional energy left to look for another school (or funds to retain an educational consultant).  Some parents are swept up by Hyde's carefully scripted, orchestrated public relations efforts.  Notice how the program in the auditorium follows a tightly scripted pattern each time when parents are assembled -- Hyde has a formula and uses the same jargon and cliches every time.  Students and parents are encouraged to stand and talk about how they've been inspired by Hyde.  I'm willing to believe that most of these testimonials are genuine.  But, this is a standard cult tactic designed to spread the "word" and encourage the masses to join the "faith."  I've been sitting in those audiences now for quite some time -- I know there are LOTS of parents who feel cynical about these tactics and resent them.  Many parents see through Hyde's thinly disguised methods; understandably, these parents find it difficult to publicize their distress, anger and resentment.  They realize they'd be harrassed and hassled terribly by those who buy Hyde's rhetoric.  As a result, these unhappy parents take the path of least resistance and suffer in silence until they can find another option for their child.  I've heard this story over and over again.

[tommyfromhyde1]

There's a money issue here too. If you pull your kid out in the middle of the school year Hyde keeps the entire year's tuition anyway. I'm betting that a lot of these unhappy parents have the idea of sticking it out till June. That's dangerous for their kids IMHO. If they know the parents are unhappy then they'll retaliate against the kid.

Madness takes its toll.  Please have exact change.
--Anonymous

[Anonymous]

That is absolutely stupid. If the parents are feeling abused and hassled in a meeting in an auditorium, what the hell do they think is happening to their child on a day-to-day basis at that place? They need to forget the MONEY, and take their kid home, and just be the best parents they know how to be. At least then, they should know their child is not being abused. There is NO EXCUSE for leaving their kid there, NONE!

[Anonymous]

"Ditto" - sound familiar??

From a smart parent, who left her "smarts" at the front door of Hyde - and has LEARNED their abusive, cult stuff the tragic way.

[Anonymous]

On 2005-10-30 02:37:00, Anonymous wrote:

"You talk about what would happen at Hyde should they suspect you are thinking of leaving.  The parents don't get nearly as much grief and abuse as the kids.  Hyde totally puts undue pressure on the kids if you announce you might be looking for an alternative to Hyde.  You are right that they will accuse you of having an attitude problem and make your life a living hell!  Not worth it.  You are better off keeping your thought hidden! Please tell me this is not the sign of a Cult!!!  You can't tell me because Hyde DOES operate like a Cult!"

This is exactly what I've observed at Hyde.  Parents who announce that they're unhappy with the school and plan to leave are often subjected to a great deal of pressure.  I've heard of people being accused by Hyde staff of being weak, unwilling to examine their own issues, lacking character, etc.  It's not unusual for Hyde staff, and even other parents, to point fingers, confront, accuse, blame, and judge.  Sometimes the kids feel caught in the middle, feeling pressured by Hyde to convince their parents to change their minds.  Of course, it's that kind of emotional abuse and manipulation that leads many people to leave Hyde.

[Anonymous]

Sounds like a lot of whining going on here.

[Anonymous]

On 2005-11-14 17:01:00, Anonymous wrote:

"Sounds like a lot of whining going on here."

You may call it whining if you wish.  I call it inappropriate, condescending, patronizing and manipulative behavior.  So do many, many others.

[Anonymous]

On 2005-10-30 02:37:00, Anonymous wrote:

"You talk about what would happen at Hyde should they suspect you are thinking of leaving.  The parents don't get nearly as much grief and abuse as the kids.  Hyde totally puts undue pressure on the kids if you announce you might be looking for an alternative to Hyde.  You are right that they will accuse you of having an attitude problem and make your life a living hell!  Not worth it.  You are better off keeping your thought hidden! Please tell me this is not the sign of a Cult!!!  You can't tell me because Hyde DOES operate like a Cult!"

What you describe here is virtually identical to our experience.  One of the things we've noticed about Hyde is that there's so little trust.  So many parents and students seem concerned about being judged by staff and other parents that they are reluctant to open up.  Sure, some parents let it all hang out.  But many others play the Hyde game in order to survive the experience.  Mistrust hangs in the air at Hyde like a dense fog.

[Anonymous]

On 2005-11-14 18:36:00, Anonymous wrote:

"

On 2005-11-14 17:01:00, Anonymous wrote:

You may call it whining if you wish.  I call it inappropriate, condescending, patronizing and manipulative behavior.  So do many, many others."

Here's my question:  How do you know if its many, many others?  Almost everyone who posts here is anonymous.  Attrition rate at Hyde is relevant but not determinative (since there are many reasons behind attrition).

Its always nice to know you aren't alone in an experience and/or perception, but extrapolating beyond "some (students/parents)" seems to lack an empirical basis.