Pirate....everything you just said makes perfect sense. And much of your words are pretty much what I think.
Its really hard to explain what I meant by being frozen in childhood.
Its that in personality I am an overgrown kid. As if there is a part of me cannot progress to a adult mentality. Seeing the world through the eyes of a child...the way it really is, that is how I will always be.
After what we went through, how on earth could we every be able to trust authority. We were betrayed as children by authority. That betrayal will probably always stay with us, so the distrust seems like a normal reaction to severe betrayal. Of course the distrust is justified, but your right.