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Author Topic: Stolen Childhood - Now Frozen in Childhood  (Read 6922 times)

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Offline Nonconformistlaw

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Stolen Childhood - Now Frozen in Childhood
« Reply #30 on: October 27, 2005, 12:19:00 PM »
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On 2005-10-26 21:22:00, webcrawler wrote:

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HOT!!!!!! :rofl:  :rofl:  :rofl: "


WTH were you drinkin there girl???????

I was crushin on the lil hardcore guys in their T's and knee length shorts myself  :lol: "

I think I forgot to mention my tendancy to be sarcastic....that should explain what I "was drinking."  :lol:
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quot;In a time of universal deceit, telling the truth becomes a revolutionary act.\" George Orwell

Offline Anonymous

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« Reply #31 on: October 27, 2005, 12:32:00 PM »
So did you see any hot guys or not?
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Offline webcrawler

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« Reply #32 on: October 27, 2005, 01:23:00 PM »
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I think I forgot to mention my tendancy to be sarcastic....that should explain what I "was drinking."  :rofl:  :rofl:  :rofl:
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am looking for people who survived Straight in Plymouth, Michigan. I miss a lot of people there and wonder what happened and would like to stay in touch.

Offline starry-eyed pirate

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« Reply #33 on: November 11, 2005, 04:02:00 AM »
i been thinkin, (uh-oh) lately about what you meant by "frozen" and i think i can relate...

Like i seem to have like, some kind of a self-imposed learnin' disability... :rofl:

No...really.  It's like ever since str8 i jus' can't trust anybody.  i don' believe anyone.  i only know the things i can teach myself.  i don' trust any institutions.  The only thing i really pay attention to now days are my deepest intuitional instincts.
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If you would have justice in this world, then begin to see that a human being is not a means to some end.  People are not commodities.  When human beings are just to one another government becomes obsolete and real freedom is born; SPIRITUAL ANARCHY.

Offline starry-eyed pirate

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« Reply #34 on: November 11, 2005, 05:22:00 AM »
Like some kind of a self imposed limit to how much of the human world i'm even willing to take in.  Like i am so defensive that i won't even listen.  i recognize the things i already know in constantly changin' forms, but nothin' really changes.  They play on the change, hoping it will foster some desireable behaviour in me.  But they don' understand how i see through their forms.
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If you would have justice in this world, then begin to see that a human being is not a means to some end.  People are not commodities.  When human beings are just to one another government becomes obsolete and real freedom is born; SPIRITUAL ANARCHY.

Offline starry-eyed pirate

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« Reply #35 on: November 11, 2005, 05:38:00 AM »
Don' tell nobody i tol'ja all this. :smokin:   :grin:
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If you would have justice in this world, then begin to see that a human being is not a means to some end.  People are not commodities.  When human beings are just to one another government becomes obsolete and real freedom is born; SPIRITUAL ANARCHY.

Offline Nonconformistlaw

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Stolen Childhood - Now Frozen in Childhood
« Reply #36 on: November 11, 2005, 11:16:00 AM »
Pirate....everything you just said makes perfect sense. And much of your words are pretty much what I think.

Its really hard to explain what I meant by being frozen in childhood.

Its that in personality I am an overgrown kid. As if there is a part of me cannot progress to a adult mentality. Seeing the world through the eyes of a child...the way it really is, that is how I will always be.

After what we went through, how on earth could we every be able to trust authority. We were betrayed as children by authority. That betrayal will probably always stay with us, so the distrust seems like a normal reaction to severe betrayal. Of course the distrust is justified, but your right.
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quot;In a time of universal deceit, telling the truth becomes a revolutionary act.\" George Orwell

Offline ex-prisoner

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« Reply #37 on: November 11, 2005, 12:49:00 PM »
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On 2005-11-11 01:02:00, starry-eyed pirate wrote:

"The only thing i really pay attention to now days are my deepest intuitional instincts.  "


I read it "institutional instincts". Meaning nothing bad on you pirate.

Damn this board is heavy.
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Offline starry-eyed pirate

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« Reply #38 on: November 12, 2005, 12:49:00 AM »
What ??  ex-prisoner ??  You read intuitional as institutional ??  i wonder...
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If you would have justice in this world, then begin to see that a human being is not a means to some end.  People are not commodities.  When human beings are just to one another government becomes obsolete and real freedom is born; SPIRITUAL ANARCHY.

Offline PerfectStraightling

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« Reply #39 on: November 12, 2005, 12:50:00 AM »
Starry eyed...I know what you mean. I always analyze what everyone means by everything. Everything. Trust issues. I don't know where it came from, from my time in Straight where I learned the beautiful art of tearing myself to pieces and everyone else too. Seeing the bad in others from thinking they're lying. I don't know.
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Offline starry-eyed pirate

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« Reply #40 on: November 12, 2005, 11:00:00 AM »
Betrayed in a very deep way. Foresaken and caged.  Confusion. Senses all enslaved.  Seethin' with madness.  Paranoid and deranged.  Alone.  The pscychic death by 1000 cuts.  The silent rage.  

"We are stardust we are golden..." -Joanie Mitchell
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If you would have justice in this world, then begin to see that a human being is not a means to some end.  People are not commodities.  When human beings are just to one another government becomes obsolete and real freedom is born; SPIRITUAL ANARCHY.

Offline ex-prisoner

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« Reply #41 on: November 12, 2005, 05:51:00 PM »
Uh huh, institutional instincts. In other words, who know de difference. Got some paranoia? Got some head games? Got some ascetic habits?
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Offline starry-eyed pirate

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« Reply #42 on: November 13, 2005, 12:07:00 PM »
Always tweekin' my perspective, so ya'are...ex-prisoner.
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If you would have justice in this world, then begin to see that a human being is not a means to some end.  People are not commodities.  When human beings are just to one another government becomes obsolete and real freedom is born; SPIRITUAL ANARCHY.

Offline fedelta_a_verita

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Stolen Childhood - Now Frozen in Childhood
« Reply #43 on: November 30, 2005, 02:07:00 PM »
[ This Message was edited by: fedelta_a_verita on 2006-01-03 07:35 ]
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Offline CCM girl 1989

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« Reply #44 on: November 30, 2005, 02:40:00 PM »
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On 2005-10-20 20:14:00, Nonconformistlaw wrote:

"I want my childhood back! It was mine...Straight took it away without my permission. Whlie locked within those walls, glued to my blue chair, motivating my ass off on cue, and all the while in a state of fear and confusion...what was left of my childhood disappeared.



I WANT IT BACK! IT WAS MY CHILDHOOD...Straight had NO right to steal it from me!



I missed out on all the things normal teenagers take for granted. We all did.



I went to a formal dance a few years ago even though I despise formal shindigs. But I wanted to pick out a formal dress for the FIRST TIME IN MY LIFE at age 34. I picked out the most beautiful red dress I could find, and then I just started crying because I didnt get to do that in high school. As I write this it almost seems like such a trivial detail I missed out on...but it was one of those moments where I was painfully aware of how much was taken from me.



And as the years have passed, I've always noticed how I have hung on to childhood for dear life. On my 19th birthday, I promised myself that I would always be 19. I am an overgrown kid in a lot of ways and I know it was because of Straight. In my heart I am the teenager I was not allowed to be. Now matter how old I get...I will always be frozen in childhood."


You're not the only one who feels this way. I feel like all the years I spent at Heritage School & Cross Creek Manor which totals 4 1/2 years did much more harm then good. After my release, I was behind mentally & emotionally compared to others who were my age. It's like my mind was temporarily frozen in time. Still to this day I feel about 5 years emotionally behind others my age. Another thing, is that I don't see myself as an adult???? Weird, huh?!!
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f you were never in a program, or a parent of a child in a program, then you have no business posting here.
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