Treatment Abuse, Behavior Modification, Thought Reform > The Seed Discussion Forum

THE WRITING WAS ON THE WALL

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Anonymous:
think about all the signs that clearly spelled "PSYCHOLOGICAL MANIPULATION" but u stayed cause u were afraid to leave . . .please list all the ways you knew deep down that what they were doin to uu was clear as day. The real question is "Why did you stay despite it all?"

FueLaw:
Good question. I stayed because I was 14-15 years old and my parents made me stay. Also I was under the (mistaken) assumption that If I left (split the program) I could somehow be placed in juvenile hall. I was also scared and had no place to really go. I had never worked and had no real ability to go out on my own and take care of myself.

One of my biggest and most depressing memories was sitting in the group and feeling stuck and hopeless.

Napolean Bonafart:
That line of crap was on the wall and I believed it, but it led me into a secret life and I was totally alone. After all was done and said I was a trained super-being. But who cares about us now? Not anybody I know but UNCLE SAM.
Religion is just mind control.
--George Carlin, comedian
--- End quote ---

Anonymous:
Let me point out the lesson I learned from being a young kid and having to stay put, DESPITE IT ALL:

I would be a fool to ever trust a stanger again.  

Just like then, I suspect I am or will be  screwed with on some level by responding any further and that's not something I care to experience. Ever again. :smile:

Stripe.

NOT12NOW:
My first few days were filled with fantasies of escaping but it was clear I couldn't get away, I had no where to go and it wasn't long till I saw kids who had run, caught--right back in group.
 In addition I had fantasies about my parents accepting and loving me again.  Really, I would stare out the window fantasizing about busting through the screen and running away forever followed by fantasizing that my parents were in the courtyard outside the window arms exstended to me like I was a toddler taking her first steps.  So I guess, despite what I saw, I had hopes, at first, that the program would make everything ok in my family again.  But after a couple weeks it didn't matter anymore cause the system won, it didn't take long to overpower a desperate young girl.   After that I was so busy looking for signs of fucked-up-ness in myself that my awareness that the program was fucked was disabled.  Any time anything happened in group which brought that to my attention I turning it around on myself asap--they weren't fucked up I was fucked up for thinking that and if I didn't stop I would be caught, screamed at or even started over.
All in all, given my powerless position at the time I think my unconscious did me a big favor by giving in enough to get through as fast as possible.

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