Well, hello there, Survivor Boy. Why the fuck do you still live in Columbia? Were you hoping your high school girlfriend would leave that asshole she married and she and her three kids would move in with you? Or is it the suburban conveniences mixed with the feeling that you are Somewhere, Columbia being the hotbed of something there, something like housewives getting into yoga and all that. Is it the parents' basement? Is that it? Enquiring minds want to know.