On 2005-11-04 19:35:00, Lars wrote:
"To the Anonymous guy who thinks I'm blaming others,
I appreciate that you're not really trying to rip me or pull the Hyde "you just don't get it" business as to my post. But I do feel compelled to address a few things you said.
Punishing a bright student because they aren't a "leader" in class is downright disgaceful. I never said I was screwed in life by the time I got to college, I was merely pointing that due to an unconscionable grading system, I had fewer options at that time than if they had graded my work simply on its merits. And I have a right to take them to task for it.
Also, my post may have appeared rhetorical in form, but in substance, it wasn't. I was there. These things actually happened.
Of course, the typical Hyde approach is to have the student always blame him or herself. In the real world, that isn't always the case. We have the right to vent our anger when others wrong us, when an institution wrongs us. Hey, I moved on. I worked hard AND played hard in college (a much healthier approach than the grim, all "work" approach that is central to the Hyde experience), got into law school and made a life for myself. I make good money and enjoy kicking the government's butt in court. I have a beautiful wife and two beautiful kids. Life is good. Believe me, I'm not blaming them for anything in my life now.
Those of use who endured that place have a right to vent, and, I believe, a moral duty to warn prospective parents. My parents bought into their bulls*&^ and it was three years of my life that I'll never get back. If anything good came of that, it's that I now thank god for every day I have on this earth that I can live my life the way I should - without having to share my intimate secrets with strangers, without know-it-alls trying to mold me into something I'm not.
What I'm seeing in these discussions is a lot of people like me who had terrible experiences there. And a few of the pro-Hyde folks who respond to our anger by responding the way the school did: you don't get it. It's a free country and as a lawyer who fights every day to uphold the constitution, I think you've got the right to say what you want on these boards. But understand that if you're coming on here to defend the school and in doing so, telling folks that they just don't get it, that they, not Hyde School failed, well, I have to say that you really ought to consider keeping your $.02 to yourself. It's just not appropriate in a forum where people are clearing some of the bile from their souls.
Life is not a Hyde seminar. And neither are these discussions."
Thanks for sharing your experience with us Lars. It does help to vent after all these years! I think many people have said this on the board, but I will repeat it.....at Hyde you are intimidated into censorship because the consequences are so severe that you learn early on to keep you mouth shut and play the game! Not only do kids have to do this, the parents do as well.
For those of you who don't know how Hyde operates, there are regional meetings that parents are required to attend each month. The indoctorination continues, and when the kids are home on break, they too are required to attend. I saw undo pressure being applied with the parents. I would say that half of the time spent at meetings, and the required family weekends, is all about fundraising. Each region assigns 2 people to lead the fundraising. One for the Bath Campus and one for the Woodstock Campus. This person is suppose to get 100% participation and if someone does not "donate" then psychological pressure is put on in different ways. The entire region WILL know that you did not donate. You cannot imagine the looks and comments one gets for not participating. This of course is expected from you even after paying $35,000 to attend Hyde, plus all the expenses for travel back and forth and other required activities. Basically one has to be very rich to attend this "program." You would think Hyde would have some professional staff on hand for all this money, but guess what folks?
? These are very low paid young teachers and staff, other than the "family circle" of Gaulds, etc.
I think what many people are trying to get across on this board is the following:
1. Hyde is not a school! Hyde is a "program" which does not have professional staff on board to deal with psychological problems.
2. Hyde has a lousy education system. Most teachers do not have good qualifications, only stay for a couple of years at most, are young and inexperienced, and many are Hyde "graduates" who come back to the school because they cannot make it in the real world. The "successes" at Hyde are ones who buy into the program and want to stay in the program!
3. The marketing materials are deceiving. Hyde is NOT a boarding prep school! There are some very bright kids who have gone through Hyde but will not be accepted into a good college because of Hyde's grading system which is not acceptable at most schools. Hyde markets themselves as a school where 99% of graduates are accepted to college. There are a very small percentage of kids who start senior year and graduate at the end of senior year. Of those who do graduate most are accepted into community colleges and other four year institutions that are not the top in the country. Of those who do graduate and do go to college, there is a high dropout rate and some never step foot on campus! If you are impressed by this then by all means, go ahead and attend Hyde.
4. Both parents and kids WILL be expected to tell all the dirty details of your life. If a parent has ever smoked pot, cheated on a wife, stole candy, slept with several partners, you will be pressured to bring it up in front of not only your child who attends Hyde, but your other kids who are with you in seminar as well as a room full of perfect strangers. These same strangers will give you the advice THEY feel you need!!
5. Parents are NOT allowed to miss regional meetings each month. Should you miss one, you are reported to the school. Also, the group leaders in your region send a report to the school about the meetings, participation, concerns about certain parents, etc. Nothing is regarded as private at Hyde. Their saying, "what's said in the room, stays in the room" only applies to parents who do not hold a post at the school. The regional leader many times discusses your private conversations with the school under the guise of being "concerned." There are also "concern meetings" if you are considered "off track." If you don't buy into the program, you are "offtrack."
6. If you are smart enough to see that you have joined a Cult rather than a school, forget about getting your money back. Consider your $35,000 plus, plus, gone!!
7. The reason you will not see many posters here or hear about the school from people who leave, is that there is a big sense of embarassment. I see parents who become very close during the school year yet when away from that environment they are too ashamed to be friends with someone who knows EVERYTHIHG aboutthem. Seldom do any parents stay in touch with each other after leaving Hyde other than the "inner circle" who never leaves Hyde. I am one of those who is not in touch with anyone through Hyde even though I liked many of the students. When I myself was a "hyde fan" I would preach about the school to my friends. My friends would tell me it sounded like a cult and I would dispute this. I now say NOTHING about my experience at Hyde because I am too ashamed to admit they were right and I was caught up in a Cult.
As far as Hydefan. It is obvious that he is a member of the school or should I say a member of the Cult at Hyde. It truly amazes me how anyone who "buys into Hyde" talks EXACTLY the same way. The lingo is all the same! This is certainly signs of a Cult and I don't think even THEY realize how deeply involved they are in the indoctorination! If you read these posts, go to Amazon.com and look at the "reviews" for the school book, you will see that the "Hydettes" all talk the same! You might think some of it is all the same person, but it isn't. All Hyde people who "buy into the program" are programmed to speak the same!
I think it is important for parents considering Hyde to read through ALL these posts and see that former Hyde parents and students are all saying the same thing! Think twice before signing up for Hyde. There are a few statisfied people, but all in all a higher percentage left Hyde unhappy!
