Treatment Abuse, Behavior Modification, Thought Reform > Hyde Schools
follow-up questions on Hyde School
Anonymous:
--- Quote ---On 2005-09-28 09:40:00, Anonymous wrote:
"I understand what you're saying about the seminars, but from the sound of it, you have not actually sat through one of these seminars.
Faculty are participants in the group just as much as they are facilitators, and a lot of the harsh feedback comes from students, parents, AND faculty, so if someone is offended by something, it was not necessarily from a faculty.
The amount of seminars that i have sat through is indefinte, I spent 7 years sitting through seminars, since my brother attended the school before I did. People's boundaries are respected, if there something very personal about their past then they are encouraged to share it, but not required. I know this first-hand. The mandatory journaling questions and such are pretty vague: "what are your hopes and dreams?" "what resentments do you have towards your past?" people can answer however they want.
Again: I don't think that the school is perfect, I was often a student who stood up for things that i disagreed with, and I had many conversations with the headmaster, asst. headmasters, and all my teachers about the things that were not right about the school. But you don't really have the right to talk about that before you really give it a chance...and I don't mean just sitting in a seminar, but really really participating."
--- End quote ---
Thanks for your observations. I can assure you that my comments are based on extensive, direct participation in seminars (including several members of my family). It sounds as if we've had rather different experiences (perhaps a function of the group composition, the experience and expertise of the facilitators and parent volunteers, etc.). My observations are based directly on what I and other family members observed first-hand. I agree that seminars are not always, or even consistently, toxic and managed unskillfully. But, in my experience too many seminars include very destructive moments and events. Also, I have heard from quite a few parents who report very similar experiences. Not surprisingly, different people have different experiences and perceptions.
Anonymous:
--- Quote ---On 2005-09-28 09:40:00, Anonymous wrote:
People's boundaries are respected, if there something very personal about their past then they are encouraged to share it, but not required. I know this first-hand. The mandatory journaling questions and such are pretty vague: "what are your hopes and dreams?" "what resentments do you have towards your past?" people can answer however they want.
--- End quote ---
We all know there are positive's and negative's about Hyde, but the above is absolutely not true. I DID SIT THROUGH MANY SEMINARS and if you did not share something really horrible then you were called on it, and told you aren't digging deep enough. There was a tremendous amount of pressure put on you by ALL to come up with something deeper. It is ALWAYS assumed at Hyde that EVERYONE has something in their families that was distructive and that you must come clean with it. I know of one Mother who made something up simply to satisfy Hyde's sadistic thirst for dirt!!
Sorry, but you are entirely wrong that Hyde does not force you to talk about uncomfortable things in your life. No, they don't hold a gun to your head, but they put psychological pressure on you. Once I saw a woman who was pushed so hard that she finally came out with something that was obviously traumatic. She then couldn't handle it emotionally and practically had a breakdown. It was heartbreaking to see this grown woman having a breakdown yet no one with a professional degree there to help her. I am talking about someone who needed medication by the time "group" got done with her. If you want to say that this is acceptable standard of care, then you have a big problem.
HydeFan:
--- Quote ---I DID SIT THROUGH MANY SEMINARS and if you did not share something really horrible then you were called on it, and told you aren't digging deep enough. There was a tremendous amount of pressure put on you by ALL to come up with something deeper. It is ALWAYS assumed at Hyde that EVERYONE has something in their families that was distructive and that you must come clean with it.
Sorry, but you are entirely wrong that Hyde does not force you to talk about uncomfortable things in your life. No, they don't hold a gun to your head, but they put psychological pressure on you.
--- End quote ---
Here's the deal, for me.
We all have deeper truths. What is true today, may not be true tomorrow, simply because we took a deeper look. Jung, if I have it straight, was seminal in shining a light on the vast unconsciousness (I think something to the effect that consciousness was all we can see 10 feet deep from a rowboat when we are sitting in the middle of the ocean).
The point is, we all have deeper truths, and personal growth often comes from exploring these. If someone felt pressure to come up with something "horrible", that was about them. All that I saw that was asked of people was that they look inside, and speak the truth.
I concur, that can be very uncomfortable, but it was part of the package of going to Hyde, and to the extent a group will show its disapprovale to mutually agreed upon expectations, then that might also be considered "psychological pressure", but if that's as far as you got with the analysis, I would say you missed it, and I am sorry for that.
Troll Control:
--- Quote ---On 2005-10-05 04:00:00, HydeFan wrote:
"
--- Quote ---
I DID SIT THROUGH MANY SEMINARS and if you did not share something really horrible then you were called on it, and told you aren't digging deep enough. There was a tremendous amount of pressure put on you by ALL to come up with something deeper. It is ALWAYS assumed at Hyde that EVERYONE has something in their families that was distructive and that you must come clean with it.
Sorry, but you are entirely wrong that Hyde does not force you to talk about uncomfortable things in your life. No, they don't hold a gun to your head, but they put psychological pressure on you.
--- End quote ---
Here's the deal, for me.
We all have deeper truths. What is true today, may not be true tomorrow, simply because we took a deeper look. Jung, if I have it straight, was seminal in shining a light on the vast unconsciousness (I think something to the effect that consciousness was all we can see 10 feet deep from a rowboat when we are sitting in the middle of the ocean).
The point is, we all have deeper truths, and personal growth often comes from exploring these. If someone felt pressure to come up with something "horrible", that was about them. All that I saw that was asked of people was that they look inside, and speak the truth.
I concur, that can be very uncomfortable, but it was part of the package of going to Hyde, and to the extent a group will show its disapprovale to mutually agreed upon expectations, then that might also be considered "psychological pressure", but if that's as far as you got with the analysis, I would say you missed it, and I am sorry for that."
--- End quote ---
I've been reading this thread for a few days and I noticed that whenever someone disagrees with your baseline assessment of Hyde, you tell them that they "didn't get it" and you're "sorry" for them.
Why is it that so many others just "didn't get it"?
Your responses are rote and are very similar to the responses people get from almost every program that just doesn't work for them: "You didn't get it," or "You didn't work the program."
I wonder, did you ever think that a one-size-fits-all approach to "therapy" is simply a failed modality? Or do you think that if it worked for you the system must be set up properly and those for whom the program was an abject failure just "didn't get it"? Is it plausible to you that the system doesn't work in general and you are an exception?
I have in-depth experience with these cookie-cutter programs where evryone is treated the same, even though they present with vastly different issues. As a professional, I can assure you that this type of "treatment" results in many more failures than successes and that many of the "successes" are reducible to the natural maturation process (for which the program gladly takes credit). However, when there is a lack of success, the program, and its supporters, are quick to point the finger at the client saying "You didn't work it right."
Folks, these programs are scams, plain and simple. There is no research whatsoever to suggest these programs are effective (there is not one single objective scientific study that shows they work) and copiuous research to show they are detrimental. I would urge any prospective parents to look at unbiased research (the "programs" publish many advertisements disguised as "studies" or conlusions of studies). Don't be surprised when you find that authoritative sources, such as the NIH and many others, conclude that these programs are ineffective at best and outright harmful at worst. Studies in juvenile delinquency incontrovertably show that grouping together "problem kids" in residential settings increases the rate of delinquency, not reduces it.
Please, do some research and don't accept one person's account as fact. Verify and check for yourselves.
_________________
"Compassion is the basis of morality."
-Arnold Schopenhauer[ This Message was edited by: Dysfunction Junction on 2005-10-05 07:54 ]
Anonymous:
Disfunction Junction, thank you VERY MUCH for putting into words what I feel as a former Hyde student. Just as you said, as time went on I matured and became an outstanding citizen who gives back to the community! This had absolutely NOTHING to do with Hyde and in fact Hyde stiffled my growth.
Yes, I was told like many other kids that "I didn't get it" and that my family "didn't look deep enough." Truth was, we didn't "buy into the program" because the program was insane!! Fine if other people want to believe their kids changed because of Hyde, but it just isn't so. The short term effects Hyde has on kids is nothing like the effects of growing up and having to stand on your own two feet.
I will admit sometimes parents are helped by learning to spend more quality time with their kids talking, but this is about the only benefit I saw at Hyde and as you pointed out, many exercises at the school have harmed more than have done good.
Again I thank you for contributing your expertise to this board.
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